CaptainPerhaps

A colleague of mine got cc’d by mistake on a approval email and a certain someone had tried to expense a £60 moisturiser that they’d bought at the airport during a business trip “because he gets dry skin when he flies”. Absolute top level piss-takery.

Help! Please give me some ideas for stag do fun?

Posted by 1_Am_4_HuM4n@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 73 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I think the answer is staring you in the face. The Star Trek Video Board Game.

When was it declared that burgers now had to come with brioche buns?

Posted by Pier-Head@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 459 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I have been unhappy about this for some time. It’s like eating cake with your burger. Would happily swap for a wide floury bap any day.

Are there any "UK vs US" differences where you feel America gets it right?

Posted by Secure_Front_7766@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 6068 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Naaah.

What’s something that’s become noticeably more expensive in the UK recently, but people don’t talk about much?

Posted by AsleepDiscussion2328@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 963 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Only a couple of years ago, a pack of chocolate fingers was £1 and now it’s often £2.50. That’s a massive % increase.

is "FAFO" common in britain/slang?

Posted by Vinyasa_Veritas@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 45 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

It is a very American phrase but I’m familiar with it and imagine a fair amount of people would be.

When did the Easter Holidays start being called Half Term?

Posted by CoconutBandita@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 113 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

My kids are off and I just realised I’ve been calling this half term by mistake. Oops! It’s hard to keep up with all the various holidays and I totally lose the plot.

What song instantly puts you in a good mood as soon as you hear the intro?

Posted by MistressLolaDiamond@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 167 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Well I think the answer is obvious. The theme tune to The Upper Hand (1990).

Last one laughing is rubbish right?

Posted by TheTritagonistTurian@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 113 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I think there’s something inherently funny in seeing a group of people desperately try not to laugh. Nice, simple concept. See how people physically struggle like they need to release a pressure valve is kind of fascinating.

Do English people really say "bo'oh'o'wa'er" (bottle of water)?

Posted by Thalassophoneus@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 70 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

It’s probably more a bit more like boh’oul’oh’wa’er.

Coworker is astounded that the Artemis II launch isn't blowing everyones minds (that he's spoke to). Why do you think that is?

Posted by PaddedValls@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1221 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I think philosophically there’s a lot of feeling that extremely expensive space travel seems a bit crass, when we’re making such a mess of everything down here and seem incapable of making life affordable for people and avoiding constant wars.

What brands have you been mispronouncing your whole life?

Posted by Violetographer@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 561 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Apparently Uniqlo is pronounced “unique-low” and not “uni-cloe”. Madness. I refuse to do this.

How much disposable income do you have a month?

Posted by pinkman65@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 265 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Check out this nonsense: https://preview.redd.it/f00d5qxuq6sg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36010c8ffbe02d98203d4fc1d345f5bb70240426

What uk activities have you no interest in?

Posted by ShinyHeadedCook@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 919 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Won tickets to a football game once. Chelsea v Atletico Madrid. I remember it was very cold and at 90 minutes I thought “I could have squeezed in 2 episodes of Game of Thrones in that time.”

Help us settle a debate - is mixing cereal in the same bowl normal?

Posted by TazzyB103@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 906 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

It’s luxurious, decadent, unbridled hedonism.

Are you aware of What3Words?

Posted by Flapparachi@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 921 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I think it’s brilliant and wish it was more widespread

90s kids - what do you miss most about the 90s?

Posted by Neat-Suspect-6666@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 137 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Noel’s House Party, Laser Quest, buying games from Electronics Boutique, or ex rental VHSs for 3 quid from The Dodgy Video Shop.

How does everyone eat there Soreen (other malt loaf options are available)?

Posted by luffychan13@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 237 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I very much take your approach with the butter and a glass of milk. Lovely stuff.

What's one of the most frustrating cases of blatant favouritism that you remember from your childhood?

Posted by PricetheWhovian2@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 101 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Headmaster’s son always got the lead parts in all the school plays.

What temp do you set your Central Heating to?

Posted by Johnny_english53@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 37 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

18 and then I jack it up to around 21/22 for half an hour if it feels particularly cold.

Alcohol Use?

Posted by flamer5005@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 51 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I think one problem in the UK is that due to the typical 11pm closing time, it’s kind of a race to get as many drinks in before the final bell rings. Bit harder these days as it’s so bloomin expensive though.

Why am I all of a sudden spotting discarded interdental brushes everywhere?

Posted by pezholio@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 742 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

The fact that you randomly spotted it means it’s an incidental brush.

For people who work in other people’s homes what do you do?

Posted by Prestigious_Sand1978@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 47 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

We had some guys building a garden office for 3 or 4 days. Never used the loo and I reckon they were peeing up against my tree(!) really hope they never needed a number 2.

Would you ever use annual leave with the sole purpose to do literally nothing all day?

Posted by PaddedValls@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1170 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Films and games! I did it yesterday and it was great.

What's the most mundane dream you've ever had?

Posted by DW_555@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 59 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I had one last night where I’d bought some teabags to take into the office and I couldn’t figure out where to put them when I got there. So rock and roll.

Do you have a rare or retro email address?

Posted by Ok-Direction-916@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 2363 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

My original one was something like 100719.415@compuserve.com

Do people who live in London ever just catch the Eurostar for a day in Paris?

Posted by _FreddieLovesDelilah@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 572 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

My wife did this with our eldest daughter (11). They got up around 5am and were home by 10:30pm, pretty exhausted! They had a great time though.

Have you had a hangover from alcohol free beer?

Posted by mbridge2610@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 171 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I think I’ve started having hangovers just from being out and drinking water or whatever. I think it must be some sort of psychosomatic social hangover!

Calling in sick because my partner has my car keys?

Posted by haaaaaaano@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 51 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

That arm does look really bad though. Have a nice duvet day.

What are the "code phrases" for death notices?

Posted by Cakehangers@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 335 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

“Taken from us too soon”

Do you warm your plates?

Posted by Inevitable-Tear-3950@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 742 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Nah, it goes like this: Put food on cold plate, start eating, get about a quarter of the way through and decide it’s too cold, bung it in the microwave for 1 minute with the food, finish meal.

Getting married soon, don't have any close friends for stag do?

Posted by Informal-Review-2762@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 120 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

For what its worth, my stag do was a day at Ascot races followed by a curry then pub. All over in on day and an evening. Wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Have we been lied to all our lives about Toffee Crisp?

Posted by FearlessCreatures@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 227 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

The best kept secret is the very little known Star Bar.

Do you have mint sauce on a roast?

Posted by Woolton@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 198 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I sort of forget that mint sauce exists, but when I remember I slap it on everything.

How many mugs is reasonable?

Posted by lechef@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 174 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I think we have about 30 ish and I regular tell my missus she is unhinged.

How would the UK actually fare in a Zombie apocalypse?

Posted by Slothjitzu@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 857 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Queuing. The tiny part of the zombies’ brain that clings onto their former self would instinctively make them queue up to chomp on the uninfected. Makes them much easier to deal with.

What are you up to tonight?

Posted by Chanson_Riders@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 83 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

The Battlefield 6 Open Beta is on until Sunday if that’s your cup of tea.

What is your favourite quote or saying from a British TV programme?

Posted by throwaway_ink00@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 237 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

A) Bollocks. And B)… well I don’t need a B as the A was so great.

What's a very British word or phrase that you really like?

Posted by EverybodySayin@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 386 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

The ne’er-do-well’s jiggery-pokery really bollocksed up proceedings.

What’s an everyday item that you call by a stupid name?

Posted by franki-pinks@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 493 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Kitchen tongs - Graboids

Fess up, UK Reddit - What are your sins against Britishness?

Posted by The-Sassy-Pickle@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 2208 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I won tickets to see a Chelsea match once soon went along with it. Would you believe the games are 90 minutes! 90! Total madness.

What is the best instant coffee brand?

Posted by Jurgen1602@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 216 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

Personally I love L’Or Artiste Delicato. Everyone I know is very snobby about instant, but I totally dig it and don’t like proper coffee.

What did you think of 28 Years Later?

Posted by AbbreviationsHot7662@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 160 comments

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CaptainPerhaps@reddit

I found that the way people behave was a bit odd - like why does literally no one wear goggles or gloves or any kind of improvised face mask? Why was the main gate on the island so flimsy, largely made of barbed wire, which infected would happily charge through?