jackHD

Before I had a child, once or twice a year. After having a child, all the God Damn time. The first six months of nursery were particularly hellish. I had to apologies to my bosses as I legit cannot believe how many times I got nursery colds/flus. Thankfully my bosses at the time had kids and totally got it.

ID

Those weird tanning Hannibal lecter face mask things

Pooh Bridge.

I left the BARB panel many months ago but was a member for a long while (years). When you Google “Barb TV,” this thread is one of the only discussions that comes up — which surprised me. So I wanted to write an honest, first-hand review of my experience, because some of the comments I’ve seen are bafflingly one-sided. Please note I did run my review through ChatGPT to tidy it up. Just in case anyone out there checks this and it flags as a bot. **TL;DR Rating my experience: 2 out of 5** **If you have one TV, never tinker with your router, and just want easy rewards — go for it. If you care about having control over your home network setup, internet speeds, or are frequently moving games consoles around — don’t bother.** **The Setup Experience** Every member of staff I dealt with was lovely — polite, patient, and helpful. That said, it’s very clear the engineers are working within a chaotic system. One poor engineer who came out had multiple Teams/Slack chats open (couldn't tell which chat tool it was) just trying to get remote help from his teams, for what I assumed would have been a standard task (I had changed internet provider). The engineers also seem to move around a lot. We never met the same person twice at BARB. They sometimes drive from hours away to come as well. The first sales rep who visited explained the basics. We asked the usual questions: Does it use much power? “No, just one plug. ”Does it listen to us all the time? “No, it only listens to TV audio cues.” I was very confused how that works and still not 100% sure if it is true. I work from home; would my company have issues? Do you monitor the data? "no it's all fine". Some answers were a bit vague, but nothing alarming — so we signed up.  **Installation** We only have one TV, but setup took **from 9:30am until 5pm**.  Here’s what it involved:Our Sky box had to be physically opened. We were never told this would be needed. Kantar/BARB gave us a letter confirming they’d voided the Sky warranty.  The kicker; every device behind the TV (Xbox, PS5, Sky Box, etc.) got a small black box with HDMI cables in and out — each needing its own power supply. I ended up needing six extra plug sockets, which I provided via my own surge protector. A good deal more than the ONE I was originally told by the sales rep. So if you have TVs in every room, you will need at least a single spare plug behind each one.Two years later when I had to call out another engineer, they did reduce the plug count down, but it’s still three or four plugs needed. This new engineer also looked at the previous engineer's work with a look of 'what the hell!?!' The result though? Behind my TV looked like a Currys warehouse explosion — HDMI leads, optical cables, tons of USB cables, and even a Raspberry Pi (with its own power supply). When I asked what happens if I move my PlayStation, the engineer shrugged: “Wouldn’t recommend it.”. Once they are installed don't expect to be moving your physical devices around much. Any update (change internet provider, get a new games console, get a new TV), that's an engineer coming out to set it up for you. Every device in your home has to be logged on their system. Including any devices sitting obsolete in drawers and cupboards. God help you if you have teenagers with phones, tables, and games consoles, as they all need to be added by the engineer. **Network & Router Issues** Many of these little black boxes by my TV need Ethernet connections to your router. If you don’t have spare ethernet ports — tough. You’ll need to unplug something else (Hive, consoles, etc.) or buy an ethernet switch (which I did). You also get a new remote, and you must “log in” each time you watch TV by pressing a button on the controller — otherwise a loud beep plays to remind you. Oddly, it sometimes beeps when the TV is off. Never worked out why but I don't think anything nefarious was going on there. If you have guests stay or visit, and they watch TV, you must make them a Guest profile and have them also logged. It's a bit awkward asking your dinner guests what age bracket they belong in because the TV wants to know.  HDMI passthrough also caused issues. Occasionally, turning on the PS5 did nothing — the screen stays black until we power-cycled everything. If you care about 4K or 8K fidelity, I’d avoid BARB. It probably passes the signal fine, but you’re adding a lot of middlemen between your devices and TV. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like if you have 5.1 surround sound speakers, or any complex audio system. **Data Privacy & Support** The sales rep provided a shiny privacy leaflet which contained an email for data requests, which is great in theory. So after a month on the service I was curious to see what data they were collecting from me. In practice, it took over three weeks and several confused emails before I actually received my data. I honestly think I was the first person to ever ask for their data from BARB. Whenever the BARB system goes down on your side (which happens), expect a phone call or text. Switching internet providers or buying a new console? You’ll likely need another engineer visit. Even getting a new phone or tablet means calling support to re-register your devices. **Rewards & Software** We earned about £140 a year in points, and redeeming vouchers works fine. Occasionally I had to chase missing points, but customer service did eventually sort it. The software ecosystem, though, is a mess: Your account is on the BARB Panel site. Rewards are on a separate BarbRewards site. Data access is through Kantar Media, with temporary logins. Each issue you raise tends to get bounced between departments. The websites also look ancient — the FAQ page on the BARB panel should come with a strobe warning. It feels like a patchwork of different companies stitched together. I've read about people saving up for washing machines and new kitchen countertops. I don't know how. You'd need to be on the service for five years and not spend any points to get about £500. And I have no idea how BARB, BarbRewards, and Kantar work together or what the hierarchy is.  **The Breaking Point** For us, it was the Raspberry Pi. Our internet had been behaving weird for a long time — PS5 downloads crawling, dropouts, upload speeds less than a 1mb. After endless router tweaks and static IP tests, messing with all my devices, and buying a wifi range extender, I finally tried disconnecting the BARB Raspberry Pi from the network. Instantly: night and day difference. Signal everywhere, consoles stable, upload speeds fixed. Reconnect the Pi? Problems back. Tried three times. The moment the Rapsberry Pi was on a bunch of my other devices whined. My best guess: the Pi was performing some kind of ARP spoofing or traffic monitoring, grabbing network control, and throttling uploads. At that point, I told BARB:“Please come collect your mountain of cables.” Leaving BARB was thankfully very easy. **Final Thoughts** BARB isn’t a scam — it’s a legitimate research program that compensates you fairly and treats participants kindly. But the hardware setup is worryingly invasive and network-unfriendly for a modern home. If your setup is simple, you only have a TV or two, and you never touch your router, you'll be fine. If you have multiple devices, care about your network speeds, or value simplicity — it’s not worth the vouchers.

Same. Biggest pain for me is following a link from an email for say tracking a Royal Mail package, and because my vpn has me in the Netherlands the web link throws a confused fit.

A man walks into a chip shop and says, “I’d like a steak and kiddely pie, please.” Young lady behind the counter says, “Excuse me?” “I’d like a steak and kiddely pie.” “I’m sorry sir, what did you say?” “I’D LIKE A STEAK AND KIDDELY PIE!!” “Do you mean ‘steak and kidney’ pie?” “I said kiddely, diddle i?!”

I love a steak a kiddely pie. _Dont you mean Kidney?_ That's what I said didely!

I asked the librarian if she could fix my trouser hem. She said that'd be a turn up for the books!

I listen to Radio 1. The amount of people calling in, texting the group chat, and sending messages baffles me. It's more popular than ever.

As a bald man for 10+ years, I've noticed it getting better and less jokes. My favourite now is when someone accidentally uses a expression like "let you hair down" or "pulling your hair out" around me. The sudden fear on their face as I can hear their cringe-o-meter going off.

Get some HG Mould Spray and give it a good soak. Keep the window open a while, and see how quickly and badly it comes back. If its just a case of a wipe down every three weeks, then great. If it comes back in week, then clean the walls, get some Zinsser degreaser & cleaner, then Zinsser Mould spray, let all that dry, then Zinsser Primer Stain Blocker, and finally Zinsser Mould Resistant Paint. Apply those last two a few times depending on how strong it comes back. Note: I do not work for Zinsser. I just freaking love the stuff. If it STILL comes back after all that, contact a damp/mould professionals to come have a look.

It’s not a 10 🤣

Pineapple juice. It has enzymes in it that breaks down the alcohol in your blood. (It probably doesn’t. I was just told that once and I want to believe. My hung over ass sitting drinking pine apple juice muttering “don’t worry. The juice will kick in soon”. It gives me hope)

I use Seatfrog. So yes.

Video Game Industry. Don't laugh or gloat over another studios failed game or layoffs.

Radio DJs, especially Radio 1, are always in covering for someone else. 'Dave here in covering for Mel' 'Welcome to the Mel and Sam show. Just Mel today as Sam is out' etc And they often joke its because the missing person 'was out last night' or 'having a rough morning' etc. I think its total rubbish and a conspiracy, and is just to make the DJs/station sound cool and hip.

Victorious Festival. If you want to travel back in time and see a festival line up from 12 years ago, go to victorious.

To be fair, if someone pointed a camera at me for 8 hours, you could probably edit it down and get three minutes of footage of me saying stuff that makes me look like the dumbest person on the planet.

Same for us. We were due our first baby and figured we were going to get so little sleep that when we did sleep we wanted to sleep well! Bought a John Ryan pocket spring mattress. Cost a lot. But no regrets at all. Incredible mattress.

28 Years Later

Maximo Park

Leaving cards at work for someone I’ve never worked with. Was called grumpy as a result

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire

Yeah Ravensburger are a good shout and always going to be of a high quality. Hobbycraft stores normally have a good amount of them in.

Toddler has conditioned me to wake up at 6am. I’m pretty sure I’ll be like this the rest of my life. I’m that dad mowing at 8am.

100%. I think the UK suffers worse than other countries with the sentiment of wanting to look wealthy regardless of the debt it causes. Twenty year olds driving around in Audis on £300 leases a month. Or paying £75 a month for the latest iPhone.

corrrrr coming hot with a proper actual controversial take.

Bizarrely the Grand Theft Auto games

In the 2015 Rugby World Cup I was going to get tickets to a game at the Amex Stadium in Brighton. Im not a rugby fan, but I thought I would join in and enjoy the atmosphere of it all. I decided against it as I was told it'd be a one-sided dull match, given it was South Africa vs Japan. The match turned out to be one of the greatest upsets in sports history, regarded as one of the greatest rugby matches ever, and changed the face of rugby in Japan. It was such a great match that a documentary called the The Brighton Miracle was even made about it. I would have loved to have said that the one and only Rugby match I ever went to, was one of the greatest ones of all time.

Had a US neighbour and he complained for the life of him his drill will not go into his walls. Had to explain to him that he needed a hammer drill, and one the size of his whole arm would be good as the bricks are massive 😄