What’s an unwritten rule of your profession?
Posted by zerotolerance4trolls@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 361 comments
Chefs living on super noodles because the idea of having to look at food after stirring and tasting all day long is just horrifying 😱
retrolental_morose@reddit
IT people having good computers.
I work in tech but our mortgage doubled overnight thanks to a cracking opening 3 year rate, have a teenager and a pregnant wife. All the spare change is going to baby clothes and making sure I can afford taxis because I can't drive. I'm running a 6 year old phone and a 7 year old laptop and still just about treading water
SamVimesBootTheory@reddit
I've heard though of a lot of IT people being the ones less likely to indulge in newer tech due to the like privacy nightmare everything has become.
retrolental_morose@reddit
Yeah, I can see that. as a disabled person, technology's been my entry into the world: I can't see, but my computer can read things to me. But it's always worrying wondering where your data is going.
StillNoEthiquette@reddit
Have you checked out the Access to Work programme? My ex applied for help with the cost of taking taxis to and from work, he was granted it for hypermobility. I'm pretty sure poor or no eyesight would more than qualify you for that.
Jolly-Minimum-6641@reddit
For me it's not even that.
When you spend all day around computers and techie stuff, you get sick of it. I am absolutely not one for a Busman's Holiday and never have been.
Ironfields@reddit
Totally agree with this. I used to be like that. Then I actually got a job in tech, now the last thing I want to do after a day of staring at screens is stare at more screens. I’ve gotten very into gardening.
scarletcampion@reddit
I enjoy PC gaming and recreational coding (on nerdy problems to do with my outside interests rather than work), but I also sew and enjoy TTRPGs. There's something joyously pure in a hobby where you can go to an entirely different world with just a piece of paper, a stick to write with, and some funny shaped rocks. The last thing I want is to have to do it all through an app or a website.
Steppy20@reddit
It's partly why I refuse to get into the internet of things. It's also why I would never have internal security cameras that are in any way connected to a non-local network. External ones aren't as bad but I'd still advise against them.
CCTV is a thing for a reason - it's a lot more secure.
Ironfields@reddit
I listened to a talk at an infosec conference recently and the speaker gave an anecdote about the time she caught a smart air purifier scanning ports on her network. People really don’t know the half of it.
Teembeau@reddit
Yeah but why do you need a newer one. Cracks me up when I see people using Macbook Pros for Facebook. I'm typing this on a refurb 12" Thinkpad that cost me £250.
Remarkable_Battle614@reddit
It depends on the role. If you're developing using virtual machines, docker etc, then you need something with a bit of grunt.
Saying that however, my last job I spent 95% of my time shelling into servers, with virtually nothing local. I always thought was a bit of a waste of a M2 Macbook pro.
mJelly87@reddit
My dad has an old laptop that still runs on Windows 98. It's just because he has a program that he still uses occasionally, but they stopped making updates after XP, and no matter what he tries, he can't get it to work with modern operating systems.
scarletcampion@reddit
That's awesome. Is it for a niche hobby? I stumbled across bellringing software websites a while ago and they were still offering stuff for Acorn computers.
Ironfields@reddit
Same. It’s the IT worker equivalent of a mechanic driving around a 15 year old shitbox. It’s not flashy but easily fixed if it breaks and if someone nicks it you can have another one in a couple of days. Love my Thinkpads.
retrolental_morose@reddit
Ha yeah, not seriously. I am starting to make more use of LLM's so a machine with a decent GPU would be nice, but it's a want to have right now not a good to have
revolut1onname@reddit
Phone is up to date, PC is refurbished but over 10 years old.
InternationalRide5@reddit
Also because it takes me about 6 months to get used to where everything is on a new machine.
PraterViolet@reddit
Chinese students must not be failed because the university wants their money.
SoundsVinyl@reddit
This sounds like it should be a panorama episode
PraterViolet@reddit
100% - I hope there's a proper investigation. It needs to be much more widely known and discussed. I used to love my job but these days I mainly just feel an accomplice to a colossal scam. Aside from the shameful deliberate drop in academic standards, it's detrimental to the entire learning and broader university experience of all the other students, too. Imagine paying tens of thousands pounds to do a course where from 10-70% of the cohort cluster together, barely communicating with you and other students, contributing nothing to seminar discussion, and basically being empty chairs. As well as adding nothing in academic terms, there is also the other issue of a huge proportion of the student cohort not participating in any of the extracurricalar activities - join the rowing club? Nope. Join the debating society? Nope. Come to the open mic night? Nope. Enter the Battle of the Bands (or whatever)? Nope. Just a huge zero in terms of contributing and participating.
htids@reddit
Please speak more on the “deliberate drop”! I hadn’t heard of this and would love your perspective
Sorry you feel like you’re an accomplice! But better to change something from the inside than not at all
PraterViolet@reddit
There are so many examples, I could write tens of thousands of words but here's just one: Thousands of Chinese students whose Englush is not of the required entry standard take pre-sessional courses offered by the university which take place over July and August. These cost c.£8,000 per student for 8-weeks "study".
In the past such course were quite rigourously assessed and students were NOT guaranteed progression to their desired undergrad or post-grad courses, i.e. students who did not meet the standard could fail the course.
Then, starting a few years ago, any form of assessment which actually assessed English standard was quietly removed. One year, after a traditional listening exam was failed by large numbers of the cohort, it was decided that exam had been "too hard", scores were "reevaluated" and, very very quietly and behind closed doors, all of the students who had failed the exam were miraculously deemed to have passed.
This exam was a watershed moment - clearly it was decided such assessment needed to now be removed so that 99% of students were able to pass. Instead of any kind of actual listening test, a new test (this is the hilariois bit) was introduced. This new "test" was a seminar scenario where 3 or 4 students discussed a lecture they'd watched. By saying things like "Yes, I agree" after another student had spoken they had "demonstrated listening".
And lo, now everybody passes. It's an utter sham.The university has deliberately lowered the English standard required for entry onto its courses. In a way, it's a form of extortion - students who don't meet the external assessment grades (E.g. IELTS) can pay £8k, do this bullshit 8-week course, and get ushered in through the back door.
mikep114@reddit
I’m a retired nurse. We had a Chinese patient once, here on holiday, couldn’t speak a word of English. However, her written English was perfect! A very clever lady, a doctor back home.
somepersonsomewhere@reddit
I have experienced both academic blind ignorance and pushback repercussions of this as a student.
In my undergrad, during our second year (13 years ago now), my cohort doubled in size with Chinese students. A mixture of those who had good and poor written and spoken English skills, and good and very poor academic and practical capabilities. Neither our lecture halls or studio space could accommodate a doubling in the size of the cohort; each home student was forcefully "buddied up," and told they were to share a drawing desk with a Chinese student for the entirety of year two and three. Our first design project in year two was assigned to you and your new buddy. In year one, and for previous cohorts, each student was assigned their own drawing desk.
This was a very competitive course to gain entry to, in a Russel group university where, when I entered, the course was rated third in the UK. I worked hard to gain my top grade A levels and university place and I paid the university only for them to expect me to chaperone, share a desk, and complete a project with an international student who could not properly communicate with me. If I remember correctly, the lowest ability of the new Chinese students passed the second year while initial/home student that were more able did not. Access to tutors drop massively. This experience absolutely destroyed my academic experience (still had a great social experience which the university played little part in) and I decided not to pursue a career in the subject after finishing, despite being pretty able, I was just done with the whole thing.
Jump to a me changing of subject/career for my post grad studies where a large number of my cohort were also Chinese. My course leader seemingly cared a lot about academic ability and rigour. The Chinese students who could not communicate in spoken or written English to a good enough standard consistently failed. I feel for those young international adults that have had parents and states pay their way and are used to getting what they want/feel entitled to, it must be utter destruction to fail, but that experience helped me repair some old wounds from my undergrad.
I've just finished my third post grad studies, a professionally accredited course leading to professional registration. It was the highest academic standard that I've ever been subject to (quite the shock at first). No international students on the course.
I am not against Chinese or international people or students by any means, but I do stand for equality. Where there is money, there is power. Power always wins and it's entrenched in our academic institutions. It destroyed my undergrad experience, and probably has had similar consequences to thoughts of home students since. That course - as far as I am aware, been a while since I checked - has slipped massively in national rankings since.
I didn't expect to write that much but it came out, just sharing my experience.
Lazy_Age_9466@reddit
Nottingham University?
PraterViolet@reddit
No, but I believe they were the forerunners of the "everyone passes" approach. Other universities sat up and took notice, realising that their rigourous admissions policy = less Chinese students, and therefore less cash.
Narlth@reddit
My uni must hate me. I got an overseas student failed in one module, in my defence he did 0 work on our group project and literally missed all the meet ups I arranged for us to work on it.
PraterViolet@reddit
Just a 2:2, then!
BalthazarOfTheOrions@reddit
And the ugly truth is that that money pays our wages.
nutwiss@reddit
Ironically, that suits China too. It works like this: freely encourage students to enroll in the best universities around the world. Let them gather knowledge. Return to China with latest foreign knowledge. Use their knowledge to one-up the West. Profit.
TheZamboon@reddit
I graduated alongside a girl who could barely speak or read English… she cheated her way through the entire course.
autobulb@reddit
My partner is doing higher education at a British university and for Master's she was in the dormitories. Most of her dorm mates were Chinese, and when I visited her I spent a lot of time there and got to know them. I was surprised at how some of the students doing Masters and higher could barely hold conversations in English. One fellow was doing a business degree and a really nice guy, but we honestly struggled to have conversations with him about really simple everyday topics. "How was your day today? What did you do?" would often be met with "what? sorry, what did you ask?" and other similar forms of miscommunication. I don't know how he's meant to take a degree in higher education without basic English skills. Maybe his vocabulary for those topics is a lot better than those for daily conversation things, I hope.
My partner also mentioned how a lot of students took notes in Chinese rather than English. I kind of understand that when you're first learning a language, but if you can't think and take notes in the language your courses are in I don't know how you can survive through them without a ton of additional extra work translating stuff for yourself. When I learned another language at an academy we were pushed to start taking notes in that language as soon as humanly possible. Once I switched over it became SO much better, like a major barrier had disappeared before my very eyes. If you are trying to read novels or other high level works and still need to mentally translate everything you're gonna be in for a rough time.
10b0b@reddit
Your comment gave me a lightbulb moment from a recent interaction with a Chinese lad that had a Masters in Mechanical Engineering but struggled with basic trig, and just right handed triangles at that, no SIN/COS/TAN.
I thought we had a language barrier to some extent but no problem communicating overall and lunch was a seemingly normal conversation about life’s going ons….
Curious…
eerst@reddit
Conversely I had a Chinese guy in my MBA who did all our econ homework for us but could barely speak English. Miss you Chen.
MagicElf755@reddit
There's a decent chunk of Chinese students at my uni, I'm pretty sure almost none of them actually speak English. I see what looks like a translator leave with them every lecture
PraterViolet@reddit
Absolutely standard - universities couldn't care less, so long as the cash keeps rolling in.
PlasticSnakeVeryFake@reddit
Hello friend, we work in the same sector.
PraterViolet@reddit
It's a farce, right?
SenSel@reddit
With the sudden rise of south Asian & Nigerian students, is this also shifting to cover them? A heck of a lot of the south Asians I know (my community) are barely attending classes.
Garconavecunreve@reddit
China is in Asia…
SenSel@reddit
It's not in south Asia.
Garconavecunreve@reddit
Well…your original comment said Asia and not south Asia, sooooo
SenSel@reddit
You must have read another comment because I said south Asian in my comment. Reddit shows when someone has edited their comment.
PoglesBee@reddit
From what I've seen, South Asian students on visas seem to be much more hounded about attendance. If there are students coming here on a student visa and then not attending and the uni doesn't seem to be doing anything about it, they can be stopped from recruiting overseas students. Overseas students is where the money comes from so this is a huge priority, obviously, but it's really difficult to manage effectively. Alongside people just signing in for others, tapping their cards or whatever, there's a very real problem of students not being able to afford to live close by and thus having a huge commute which makes it all the more likely that there'll be absences!
SiteWhole7575@reddit
Good job they all look the same then /s
AskUK-ModTeam@reddit
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people.
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.
SenSel@reddit
Interesting. Thank you for answering.
_oOo_iIi_@reddit
Yeah. The unspoken equation behind most university decision making:
One overseas student = three home students
😞
Traditional-Idea-39@reddit
At a minimum, at top institutions it’s more like four or five
Usual-Sound-2962@reddit
Teacher.
If it’s windy the kids will be fucking mental. This applies to kids of all ages from tiny tots up to the 6ft teens I have wind. A bit of wind sends them absolutely barmy.
Also. Have a particularly difficult class on a Friday afternoon? That’ll be when a wasp visits/the tech stops working and emails are pinging constantly.
emilicia@reddit
My autistic brother goes crazy when it’s windy too - becomes really hyperactive at night and ‘sings’ along with it!
Consistent_Bite7760@reddit
OMG when it's windy outside my dog is fucking mental, maybe she's a human
cmrndzpm@reddit
Same for my cat!
zznznbznnnz@reddit
I always wondered if this has to do with the sensory aspect, windy weather is loud and abrasive, even indoors.
InsaneInTheCrane79@reddit
That, and if it’s a full moon.
nutwiss@reddit
Windy? Really? Interesting! I always notice the full moon. Really does send everybody nuts.
shiveryslinky@reddit
Immediately start building your client's confidence and bigging up even the smallest of achievements.
I work with women who are leaving prison or on probation. I haven't had a single client that hasn't had a lifetime of trauma, and one of my main observations is just how worthless they've been made to feel over the years.
maisykatee@reddit
If you don’t mind me asking, how did you go into this? I’m a Sociology & pol BA grad and criminology and criminal justice MA grad and this sounds right up my street. Thanks in advance x
bps706@reddit
Is this an unwritten rule? Would it not be a key point in the process of rehabilitation with some documented theory behind it?
shiveryslinky@reddit
I'm sure there is theory behind it, but we have a punitive justice system here, and the women I work with are often complex and challenging. It can be hard to go beyond professionalism sometimes. Particularly when you factor in the lack of resources we have at our disposal and the day in, day out, vicarious trauma.
bps706@reddit
Is this an unwritten rule? Would it not be a key point in the process of rehabilitation with some documented theory behind it?
sabretoothian@reddit
The customer is generally wrong and it's fine to tell them so
Lazy_Age_9466@reddit
Nursery staff judging a place by whether they would place their often hypothetical children there. Too often the answer is no.
pajamakitten@reddit
No different when you go to primary or secondary school teaching either. You learn to spot the schools that are great on paper but you would never send your kid to.
salilouisa@reddit
When I was applying for secondary school for my eldest, I sent my mum who is a retired teacher the Ofsted reports for the schools so she could read between the lines and give me a vibe check.
ramsvy@reddit
"is this good enough for me?" is the evergreen unspoken rule imo, no matter what profession. used to work at a charity shop where we swore by it - if something came in that we wouldn't buy ourselves (personal taste in colour and style aside obviously) it went in the bin or to the rag man.
can't have pride in your work if you're not even meeting your own standard.
Consistent_Bite7760@reddit
What's the rag man
ramsvy@reddit
unsuitable clothing donations are collected together in 'rag bags' and sold to a company who recycle textiles. the person who collects the rag bags is the rag man
pstrib@reddit
But I want a charity shop to be filled with everything for everyone's taste
ramsvy@reddit
I already clarified we weren't selecting based on personal taste. The "would I buy this?" was directed at the level of wear/cleanliness/missing parts etc, the physical state of the items. Nobody was throwing away perfectly good donations just because they don't like floral print.
InternationalRide5@reddit
Maybe they're just not that fond of their own children?
FeedFrequent1334@reddit
I'm not all that fond of my hypothetical children either tbf. My not imagined and actually completely real children on the other hand, they have their moments.
SnooCheesecakes9596@reddit
Too often.
I have quit places because they were somewhere I didn't want to see children in.
Upbeat_Map_348@reddit
IT. Turning it off and on again will fix approximately 90% of issues.
Youngfolk21@reddit
You need to log a ticket!!!
MeetingGunner7330@reddit
Also, don’t open the red door and let Richmond out of his room unless you want the rainforest to die
EugeneHartke@reddit
I'd say that other rule is: READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE.
Ironfields@reddit
I can give people somewhat of a pass on this, half the error messages an end user will see these days are along the lines of “Oh no! Something went wrong uwu” without even an error code you can google because every software vendor wants to build opaque black boxes.
nutwiss@reddit
Yeah. Thank fuck I only support kit my company wrote. I'm still obsessed with raising tech debt tickets for better logging.
nutwiss@reddit
It's my very first question (no, I don't even do polite niceties anymore). "What error are you seeing? Can you show me?"
revolut1onname@reddit
I had one last week where I didn't expect the reboot to fix the issue as I could see the problem (Guest Isolation had been enabled) but it sorted it right out. The client was greatly amused, as was I.
Ayanhart@reddit
In teaching it's never be alone with a pupil. If you must have a one-to-one conversation, at the very least have a door open or a large window people can see you through.
No_Election_1123@reddit
Is this unwritten ? I think I recall a lecturer telling me their union insisted on the door being left open if they were having a one-to-one conversation?
Ayanhart@reddit
You typically won't find it written down in policies and such, but it's a widespread word of wisdom and basic part of safeguarding. Similar to 'if you have any doubt at all: report it'.
DerGregorian@reddit
Where do you live/work? For me it was very much written down and mentioned during safeguarding.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
This is now one of the main rules of safeguarding just about anywhere with a written safeguarding policy.
EugeneHartke@reddit
I work in education and I fell foul of this because I was off guard whilst being a parent supervisor on my son's school trip. Ruinined so many things about my life.
Consistent_Bite7760@reddit
TELL US PLZ
PmMeLowCarbRecipes@reddit
What happened
c19isdeadly@reddit
Well that didnt exist in thr 1990s or my school experience would have been VERY different
barriedalenick@reddit
My PC at home has bits hanging out of it, the wireless printer never connects when needed and my Plex media server seems to be unavailable half the time.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
My media server decided to start boot-looping last week. Turned it off because I was going away, powered it back on when I got back, been fine ever since.
I also had to rebuild a Pi I've got running as a server because the SD card shat itself.
Standard life for IT people with home server stuff!
Howthehelldoido@reddit
Air traffic - hide all long term illnesses, as admitting any may lose you your job, same goes for pilots. We're all hiding things.
imtheorangeycenter@reddit
DBA - you will at some point do something in prod that was meant for dev. The ohshittasecond time period exists.
mr_michael_h@reddit
The Ohnosecond
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
"3 million rows affected (0.01 sec)"
phetea@reddit
Nowt gets done on a Friday, infact that's the majority of professions I've worked in.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
Yep. IT has "Read-Only Friday" where no changes are actioned. No one wants to be fixing stuff late Friday or over the weekend.
londonbluesox@reddit
True. The only exception, funnily enough, is exchanging contracts for property sales.
InternationalRide5@reddit
I always refuse to exchange on a Friday. No way am I risking something going wrong and everyone's disappeared at 3.30 leaving me homless until Monday.
summerpeachxox@reddit
Exchanging is fine, it's completing you don't want to do on a Friday unless of course it's a simultaneous exchange and completion
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
You can have two, because I work IT during the day, but on Sundays I'm a church organist.
For IT: no ticket, no work.
For the organ: Never ever under any circumstances disturb or distract an organist while they're playing unless a life is in danger. That means you, vicar.
Civil-Application539@reddit
Never, ever, touch a sound engineers mixing desk without their express permission.
revolut1onname@reddit
Have you seen the joke video of the girl straightening all the knobs in her boyfriends music room, down to the pedals? It made my friend actually angry.
AstonishingBalls@reddit
Yeah, I'd be pretty angry too. It can take hours, days, weeks of tinkering to get the perfect sound.
I put a mark where the knobs should go now in case they ever get moved.
tk1178@reddit
Saw this happening on the TV show Monk, where the character of Monk and his ADHD was in a music studio and there was one of the those fancy sound mixers. He went ahead and decided to straighten out the switches because he didn't like them all being out of line. Quite funny at the time.
lilbunnygal@reddit
This is the same for the lighting engineers too.
And god forbid you move the followspot guy/girls equipment. That's a massive no no
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Sounds like a good story behind this one, care to elaborate?
LoveBeBrave@reddit
Someone touched the sound engineer’s mixing desk and the sound engineer had to fix it afterwards. They didn’t like having to do that.
JW-92@reddit
This is the upside to modern desks once I lock the sound desk you can press all the buttons you want nothing will happen once I unlock it all the faders and dials jump back to the position I set them too it’s great with pushy bands who think they know best watching them tweak ‘settings’ that do precisely nothing before telling me ‘that sounds better now’
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
IT: No ticket, no work.
cmrndzpm@reddit
Don’t think you can wind down on a Friday afternoon – that’s when all the crises happen.
slimboyslim9@reddit
Never use the ‘q’ word. If you ever say it’s ‘quiet’, you’re tempting fate.
StandardBanger@reddit
You’re good… work day is over & phone is going on DND soon. No Q word can get me today now!!
BabyAlibi@reddit
We say Bjork
cmrndzpm@reddit
Stealing this.
Yomi_Lemon_Dragon@reddit
It's a bit like hearing dead silence when you have a toddler in the house. If you can't see or hear them, you just know they're either up to something, hurting themselves, or both.
hummus_sapiens@reddit
I used to yell "I know what you're doing!" from where ever I was at that moment. Cue "Aaaaw, how does she always know!?" from the kids.
Because I am Mum. I have superpowers. Eyes and ears even in my pinky toes!
sempiterna_@reddit
My mum used to yell “I’ve got eyes in the back of my head!”
BabyAlibi@reddit
And a puppy. A quiet puppy is a naughty puppy lol
GraphicDesignMonkey@reddit
I call that a 'suspicious silence'.
Bloody-smashing@reddit
I'm a pharmacist and guarantee when a customer comes in and says that word a bus stops outside and everyone decides it's time to pick up their prescription or get me to look at a rash they've had for ten years.
notsocrazycatlady101@reddit
Also never say your day has been >!going well!<
Everything is guaranteed to go to shit
Dull_Hawk9416@reddit
I love love love going into places and saying to the staff “It’s nice and quiet today”. You can see the absolute disgust on their faces 😂
jimbobedidlyob@reddit
Nurse?
Complex-Safety-2389@reddit
This is a sacred law in hospitality/food industry
Kirstemis@reddit
And social work duty teams.
Satirevampire@reddit
And nursing
IHateTheLetter-C-@reddit
And at vets
Kithulhu24601@reddit
Especially at 4pm on a Friday
G0rdon-Bennet@reddit
This is a big deal in Security as well hah. The person who says it first is made the main responder to any incident where I work.
Acyts@reddit
Nurses are weirdly superstitious about this. If someone says the Q word and then it gets busy people will hunt you down to tell you it's your fault.
Debtcollector1408@reddit
Call centres too. Usually it's back to back with no respite, so a brief break between calls is a complete game changer.
The_Boz_Boz@reddit
I work in a team that is majority nurses and it's like someone saying Macbeth in the theatre when the Q word is mentioned .
Puzzleheaded-Use-64@reddit
I work in a care home. Had a resident say "hope you have a q* night" to me last night. Literally had paramedics out, GP out of hours visiting, someone smoking cigarettes in their room, 2 hypos, and a 90+ Yr old woman dragging me down the corridor.
DON'T USE THAT WORD!!!
Acyts@reddit
I work in A&E, we started the shift very well, locum doctor used the Q word then there was a crash between a bus and multiple cars. I'm not saying it's not true. Just don't think people would assume we're superstitious people.
Knowlesdinho@reddit
Customer walks in and says "Oh it's quiet in here today"
Immediately this music kicks in as you look over their shoulder.
https://youtu.be/VmkSRC-i3AU?si=t2YKNGHEWfF-eJFf
MummyPanda@reddit
I will literally tell customers not up jinx it and if it gets busy I'm coming to blame them
Zavodskoy@reddit
I was thinking this
FarrOutMan7@reddit
Do you work in a mental health hospital by any chance?
earlyeveningsunset@reddit
Work in healthcare?
GraphicDesignMonkey@reddit
When I worked in a bar, anyone who broke that rule got a crack on the arse or leg with a damp tea towel. Hard enough to raise a welt under denim.
goblinjowy@reddit
But you’ve just used the q word! Now you’ve doomed thousands of poor call center staff across the country
Tricky-Reporter-5246@reddit
Centre
quellflynn@reddit
akh..tually... he's talking about people that work in the middle.
bps706@reddit
Still centre
quellflynn@reddit
whoops!
ive been using centre for places and center for dimensions.
next youll tell me theres an issue with set, set, set, set and set...
Jolly-Minimum-6641@reddit
Someone did a compilation mash-up clip of various American TV networks on the morning of 9/11.
Some morning news anchor said it was very quiet out there this morning, almost too quiet.
tango101-official@reddit
But fun when your no longer in the support team and go and visit them, drop the Q word and quietly leave…
mJelly87@reddit
Or if you have been on the morning shift, and you say it to the evening shift as you are leaving.
Jezbod@reddit
Even better...have your phone hidden but in your hand and call them just after you say this.
aaronkumar94@reddit
Do you work in IT?
Zerojuan01@reddit
the ward bay will be in chaos the following hour... either a patient will be unstable or confused/combative..
Filhopastry79@reddit
Once had the world's best timed crash bell. Student on a Sunday afternoon said how Q it was and was hoping to go to the library to "study". I looked at her for about 2 seconds, and the bell went off. I said "This is your fault," without a hint of irony or humour. It was a fall, with a lovely dislocated hip replacement (day 2, planned discharge following morning! Ffs!) She learned the hard way you never say the word-professionally or privately. I got to tell the wonderous story in handover (because summing a demon has NEVER worked so quickly before) and reaffirmed the avoidance of forbidden words. I did reassure her it was not actually her fault, the fall was falling before she spoke, and that we work on evidence based practise in nursing, however, I've had enough deep magic related disasters to know to be mindful of unintentional spellcasting.
cake_and_guilt@reddit
We have a security guard that thinks it's funny to drop that word whenever he is in the department. I came to the realisation that because he uses that word with malicious intent, it has lost its power when he does it. Never has an effect!
whatisthisinmygarden@reddit
You some sort of blue light service?
EvandeReyer@reddit
No we use it to deaden the impact. Like saying Voldemort
SingingWanderer1195@reddit
Had no less than 4 regular customers say to me today, "Oh boy, you guys are q**** today!"
Like, c'mon man, you should know better!!
pajamakitten@reddit
Had a placement student say that on their first day in a transfusion lab. The silence was like that scene in a western where a new person walks into the local saloon.
foxandivy@reddit
Number one rule in pharmacy!
MadWifeUK@reddit
This is what happens when you say the Q wordhttps://youtu.be/09yIyeG2WVI?si=zXcsQgVmO-pjF6XC
ettabriest@reddit
Just going to say that !
Herecomethefleet@reddit
This is basically it in any industry.
Individual_Bat_378@reddit
Had this in both schools and hospitals
Ecstatic_Effective42@reddit
My boss said just before lunch
"I don't care, I'm bored. It's too q...."
I shouted at him. A lot.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Haha very true!
Matchaparrot@reddit
Never steal your colleagues pens. They will know you did it, and steal yours
knight-under-stars@reddit
Software engineer...family and friends have no idea what you do for a living and instead think you are IT helpdesk.
Matchaparrot@reddit
I know a software engineer and this is absolutely true lolol
grimm_the_opiner@reddit
Yeah, someone once asked me to explain what coding looked like, I'd been going less than a minute when they summarised it as "so you just type in a load of rubbish". 😐
Steppy20@reddit
We type in a load of rubbish, pray to the machine spirit, and then sometimes it works
IronSkywalker@reddit
Don't forget to sanctify it with holy oils
Jolly-Minimum-6641@reddit
The rubbish doesn't work, so you get ChatGPT to fix it for you.
Steppy20@reddit
It's usually the other way around
powpow198@reddit
Awesome
nutwiss@reddit
Yep. I never talk about work in any detail at all outside work. It's bizarre really. It can be a fucking stressful job and can't even get shit off your chest half the time.
rygza@reddit
Arborist. "while you're here" starts at £100 and goes up from there.
WhatIs25@reddit
Know it 80%, defend it lole you know it 100%
sleepyprojectionist@reddit
Don’t put your hand (or any other body part) in front of the laser beam.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Omg people have actually done that?! More info please!
GreatBigBagOfNope@reddit
One bloke stuck his entire head into a particle accelerator.
While the beam was on.
And he's still alive.
IronSkywalker@reddit
The side of his face that was exposed never aged. Maybe he's on to something!
sleepyprojectionist@reddit
I build lasers for a living. They are used in a bio-medical/research setting. They aren’t the big beefy lasers used for cutting, but they will still output around 12W.
On our bays we have a gap between where the laser chassis is mounted and where our photodiode used to take power measurements is mounted.
When people are new it is very easy to absentmindedly set down your tools in the path of the beam. If you do that on a high enough setting it will melt your gloves and can lead to a pretty nasty burn.
Knowlesdinho@reddit
Tis but a scratch!
langly3@reddit
What’s said on cans, stays on cans…
Theatre technicians.
unfurlingjasminetea@reddit
Mental health (NHS)- if you didn’t laugh you’d cry
Pedantichrist@reddit
We still cry sometimes.
langly3@reddit
Thank you. Not for crying, but for what you do
mJelly87@reddit
My aunty is a psychiatric nurse. She always says "I'm a mental nurse. I also work with psychiatric patients."
Pedantichrist@reddit
We still cry sometimes.
Charyou_Tree_19@reddit
Sometimes we let you (former patient)
Phoenyx_wilson@reddit
If we didn't work here we would be here.
LeTrolleur@reddit
No updates or deployments on Fridays.
Free-Ambassador-516@reddit
Never ever use your privileges to snoop on a user, unless you have a legitimate need-to-know or are supporting an ongoing legal/HR investigation.
Accomplished-Art7737@reddit
Yep definitely not unwritten in the Civil Service. Staff have access to a huge amount of highly sensitive records, including PAYE/tax/national insurance, pensions and welfare benefits for every citizen in the UK (including the Royal family, government and high profile people/celebrities) You are told within minutes of your first day starting that you absolutely will get sacked immediately if you check the records of anyone without a legitimate business need. A surprising number of people still do it though, and act shocked when they are done for gross misconduct and asked to leave immediately 🤣
BuriedInRust@reddit
If you smell wood smoke, something is on fire. If you smell burning rubber, someone is on fire.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
😂 why do you know that? 😂
BuriedInRust@reddit
I work with hot metal. It's quite common for little glowing hot pieces to fall on the floor, which if stepped on will instantly set fire to the sole of your boot. Usually without you realising until you smell burning rubber or until someone tells you!
If we smell wood smoke its usually just a broom has caught fire.
Whithorsematt@reddit
'There was a dog' is a perfectly good reason why no work got done.
Solo-me@reddit
Rule n 1 not written anywhere but everyone must oblige: NO KNIVES LEFT IN THE SINK!
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
FR 👍🏻
Carl_Clegg@reddit
Magician’s code of secrecy…
It’s alright to divulge a secret if a child wants to learn magic and shows genuine interest.
Careless-Spray-5757@reddit
My sous chef's FAVOURITE meal was untoasted white bread with mayonnaise dipped in baked beans
Bose82@reddit
Wind Turbine Technician.
You can crane down in any weather, but not crane up.
cobber336@reddit
Hospitality - raging alcoholic, smoker or caffeine addict. Most will mix and match the above three options.
damned-n-doomed@reddit
Add coke to that list
FeedFrequent1334@reddit
Every hotel I've worked in had one part time guy who was only there to keep the tax man off his back. And punt coke to the kitchen and night staff.
IssacHunt89@reddit
Who doesn't love a glass of coke?
GeordieAl@reddit
It’s the real thing!
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
Hairdresser - pretend you can hear your client by smiling and nodding when the hairdryer is on.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
😂 that’s so true, I used to do that all the time 🤣
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
Thanks for the award!
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
👍🏻
Besty79@reddit
Never lock the controller cabinet door
WarriorDerp@reddit
No, I have no fucking clue if you're behind me or not. No, I didn't see you round the corner and you walked right in the road, not the walkway
Flt driver
turkishhousefan@reddit
Don't push to production on Friday.
spicyzsurviving@reddit
I work in a GP surgery at the moment and I guess we just know what requests and expectations to have (or not) when it comes to our own primary care and the NHS more broadly. and don't be a dick to reception staff, they get so much abuse and tolerate so much. I've had more personal threats than I care to count.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
😢 I’m really sorry to hear that, if it’s any consolation I think the NHS would crumble without their support staff.x.
spicyzsurviving@reddit
the amount of admin and paper-trailing involved is mental, to be honest part of me wonders if it’s all necessary. unfortunately the system is set up to demand it, and without people doing that paperwork nothing else would happen.
I actually really like my job because everything I do is directly helping a patient (even if they’re making themselves really hard to help!), I’ve been doing it alongside uni, but can’t imagine doing this forever, it gets a bit wearing sometimes.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Yeah I can imagine that kind of pressure grinding you down over time, what’s your next step?
Diddleymaz@reddit
My husband was a plumber and our toilet leaked
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
😂 that’s just such a typical bloke thing to do 🤣
Ironfields@reddit
Cybersecurity worker here. Users lie. Users will lie about the most inconsequential things in the world.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Well now I have to;
…How d’ya know?…
HistoricalPickle@reddit
Don’t put your hands anywhere you wouldn’t put your genitals.
Ihavecakewantsome@reddit
Engineer. The problem is usually in the operating seat but that is also my client so have to dance around it a bit 😄
CyborgAllDay@reddit
PICNIC = problem in chair not in computer
revolut1onname@reddit
PEBKAC - Problem exists between keyboard and chair
Ironfields@reddit
I’m a fan of the good old ID-10T error.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Never heard this expression before its awesome thank you for sharing 🙂
revolut1onname@reddit
I love them both, they bring me great joy.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Love this! Never heard this expression before 👍🏻
Even_Experience5194@reddit
HR woyrk's for the company, not the employee or manager.
rrrrrtttrrr@reddit
It'll take you 3 times longer than you think it will
gsur72@reddit
Whatever scenario you exercise will probably happen a week or 2 later.
JTC93@reddit
I’m a touring sound engineer. The number one rule is never ever shit in the bus toilet.
Jolly-Minimum-6641@reddit
There are some aircraft that had an en-suite bog on the flight deck itself. There was apparently a gentleman's agreement that Mr. Brown was to be dropped off in the passenger loos instead.
b0bscene@reddit
Don't put your finger where you wouldn't put your dick.
BusyBeeBridgette@reddit
"Nobody reads the instructions". I work in Game Development. This is true of fellow Game Devs at every level to the consumers too.
GeordieAl@reddit
Also “game testers have a superpower to break every game, right after the gold master goes out”
Jolly-Minimum-6641@reddit
It's that old adage about software testing.
These situations are catered for and the code catches them.
But when two women walk into a bar and ask to see the manager, it crashes and catches fire.
spiralled@reddit
Thou shalt take the night staff off early.
Majestic_Matt_459@reddit
Travel Agent -if the Computer says no it’s kindest to just tell the Customer this with no frills or apology
DanielReddit26@reddit
I'm confused- what is the computer saying no to?
Majestic_Matt_459@reddit
Everything!
Explanation - This is a reference to a recurring sketch in Little Britain. A uk comedy. Whatever the customers asked the Travel Agent they would then Type away in the keyboard for a minute and then just say “Computer says no”.
It was funnier that it sounds
The only true bit is I AM a Travel Agent
Jolly-Minimum-6641@reddit
That one time when the old man comes in with some utterly ridiculous, impossible requirements... and computer said Yes.
DanielReddit26@reddit
Ahhh, gotcha.
I never watched it but was familiar with "computer says no" - but didn't appreciate it was a travel agent. 😅
slimboyslim9@reddit
This feels like it would make a good catchphrase in a comedy show situation.
Majestic_Matt_459@reddit
Oh I never thought of that. Thanks. ;)
bigdipper2018@reddit
Don’t fuck the kebab
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭 I’m dying 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
FlyingCloud777@reddit
I work in pro football. You always have a ball and boots with you. You're always ready for a pick-up game. If you're an older coach/manager and not, you still wish you were. The day you no longer wake up wanting to play as if you were still a 14 year-old lad is the day this game no longer matters enough for you to be involved in it professionally.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
That’s really insightful, I’ve never thought of it that way before 🤔
mJelly87@reddit
Retail - The customer is an idiot unless they prove otherwise.
Asleep_Garage_146@reddit
Procurement, when something is ‘urgent’ and handed over; that person has sat on it for at least a month. And it’s all YOUR fault.
buy_me_a_pint@reddit
I worked in a funeral directors on placement years ago whilst doing my NVQ
My colleagues always said don't drop the coffin.
ThePolymath1993@reddit
Project Management - Never let anyone get away without a due date on a task. It'll never bloody happen else.
powpow198@reddit
In response to PMs... never commit to a due date.
jlelvidge@reddit
Never agree with a guest if they complain about something. I work in Housekeeping in a hotel and when guests say something like “the beds are not very comfy are they?” Or “I don’t like the colour scheme, do you?” Never ever agree with them, say quite the reverse “actually a bed has to suit a personal taste for comfort and I’ve always heard only good things about ours”. Oh and I hate making my own bed too!
inthepipe_fivebyfive@reddit
Never used comic sans
Electronic-Fennel828@reddit
Data manager- more than half the work is stopping you from breaking the spreadsheet.
Thisoneissfwihope@reddit
The other half is fixing it after, despite our best efforts, you have indeed broken it.
justbiteme2k@reddit
Anyone with a job title Data Manager shouldn't be working with a spreadsheet!
eww1991@reddit
End users still need something they understand.
InternationalRide5@reddit
End users definately don't understand spreadsheets.
justbiteme2k@reddit
If only someone would invent enterprise reporting systems and websites for such things...
CarpeCyprinidae@reddit
Why do that when you can have the end users dynamically generate an interface in PowerBI scripts running in excel... wish i was kidding
eww1991@reddit
I mean, those are still basically spreadsheets, just the end user can't change anything in them. You're still working with spreadsheets at that point
Usual-Sound-2962@reddit
Teacher.
If it’s windy the kids will be fucking mental. This applies to kids of all ages from tiny tots up to the 6ft teens I have wind. A bit of wind sends them absolutely barmy.
Also. Have a particularly difficult class on a Friday afternoon? That’ll be when a wasp visits/the tech stops working and emails are pinging constantly.
Usual-Sound-2962@reddit
Me taking my laptop to our data manager and mouthing ‘sorry’ at her through the window so she takes mercy on me for breaking yet another spreadsheet.
ThoseTwo203@reddit
AHH!!! CTRL+Z
DarthKrataa@reddit
If Doris offers you a Maltesr always decline the offer.
InternationalRide5@reddit
If Doris offers you an almond always decline the offer.
They started as sugared almonds but with her teeth she can only suck.
frankyspankie@reddit
Don’t admit it’s easy and you have nothing to do
Fuzzy_Cake_5928@reddit
"Accrue to budget"
Jay_CD@reddit
Back in the day I had a job where I used to travel overseas a lot - something like eight to ten times a year.
So whenever I had a holiday I'd stay at home.
Opposite_Brother_132@reddit
Spent 20yrs flying round the world for work in the offshore industry - my once a year holiday is usually a no-fly cruise out of the nearest port.
SamVimesBootTheory@reddit
'I can check out back'= you're more likely to find the ark of the covenant in the stockroom than the item the customer wants
sobrique@reddit
But I might spend 5-10 minutes slacking off instead :p
NecroVelcro@reddit
I've got bad news for anyone who works at Morrisons.
sobrique@reddit
Only if the customer knows that :p
NecroVelcro@reddit
I've got bad news for anyone who works at Morrisons.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
😂
Candid-Bike-9165@reddit
Cos fuck em...
PainterCareful4383@reddit
Retail or hospitality?
MrTransport_d24549e@reddit
Lowest rank and file member in political campaigns:
Glozboy@reddit
Never say a project is easy.
KingofCalais@reddit
Not technically my profession yet as ive only just finished my degree, but the unwritten rule is no metal detecting in your free time.
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
As a former mechanic, if you ever said you were bored, one of the supervisors would appear with a brush and make you go sweep a perfectly clean floor again.
Honestly, could have ate off that thing.
Once I made supervisor, I didn't have time to police the bored lads in the workshop. I was either glued to the computer or inspecting
CarpeCyprinidae@reddit
Tax Accounting: If you didnt fully disclose the business plan and the customer financing to us, we're not giving you a tax determination.
This scares off 90% of the people who want to bundle a standard-rated product with a reduced-rated product and ~~pretend they are~~ sell it as a single supply to be able to charge less tax
Humble-Necessary-433@reddit
Yoga teacher. I don’t care how flexible you are or aren’t
grimm_the_opiner@reddit
Good, cos I can only do Tuesdays. (After 10pm.)
linuxrogue@reddit
Solicitor here! All the rules of my profession are written 🤣
DigiNaughty@reddit
And yet someone wrote in another comment an unwritten rule for solicitors:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/1lzjy3m/comment/n3272b9/
crabcrabcam@reddit
Thus making them written! They can't handle anything being word of mouth.
DigiNaughty@reddit
That also makes everything else in this thread "written".
crabcrabcam@reddit
The unfortunate end of unwritten rules is that eventually someone writes them somewhere (just often not in a convenient place)
linuxrogue@reddit
😉
rev-fr-john@reddit
Forester here, "Come home safe" it's also used in agriculture.
sobrique@reddit
Read Only Friday.
armenianfink@reddit
Never give acid a drink
Duochan_Maxwell@reddit
Common sense is very uncommon
Callis_tow@reddit
Common sense is not a flower that blooms in every garden
Crafty-Strength1626@reddit
Look after your Broom
obbitz@reddit
Never take your work home (microbiologist).
EnigmaMissing@reddit
That's an unwritten rule???
PhoebeReeves25@reddit
Chef - DONT touch another chefs knife. ESPECIALLY if you haven't asked first.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Unless of course you want to die a slow and painful death 😂😭🤣
That_Northern_bloke@reddit
Dropping what you're doing and rushing out because there's a cool bird or bug outside is totally acceptable and encouraged
Goldman250@reddit
You don’t smoke? You’ll start to, just to get extra breaks.
CrumpetDestroyer@reddit
No smoker would snitch on you if you stand about outside for 5 minutes to get away from your desk
4u2nv2019@reddit
Usually engage in a good chat
skatemoose@reddit
A lad where I used to work just stood out there with them, not smoking, no one cared.
Duochan_Maxwell@reddit
Restaurant or factory? xD
Goldman250@reddit
Restaurant.
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Yes absolutely!
_feedmeseymour@reddit
Customer support - someone has already mentioned the Q word, we also include the B word in this.
Also, always include notes on your ticket or else no one is gonna help you if you’re out sick.
For the other teams I’m assuming ‘be horrendous at communicating with support’ is their unwritten rule…
HipHopRandomer@reddit
Industrial scaffolder - take the rough with the smooth. some days you’ll work 16 hours some days you’ll work 4.
RareBrit@reddit
H&SE manager, never underestimate the ability of a sufficiently motivated person to do something really really dumb.
Vast_Development_316@reddit
I’m a plumber and If you fit a new toilet you christen it
zerotolerance4trolls@reddit (OP)
Fair doo doo’s!
User131131@reddit
Clients - can’t live with them, can’t live without them
TNTiger_@reddit
Pensions- We do NOT give advice. Can't even use the word for something inocuous ('We advise you try logging out and loggin in again'). Most we ca do is 'suggest'
Mancsn0tLancs@reddit
Drive on the left. Crash on the right.
Kirstemis@reddit
Elderly patients wearing woolly hats while in a hospital bed are not long for this world.
Goonia@reddit
Don’t fuck with someone’s bedding, food, PPE. Fire service
revolut1onname@reddit
No, I will not fix your computer out of hours for free. I spent 10 hours a day on a helpdesk, if you want anything from me outside then it's going to cost you.
George9816@reddit
I guess as a forklift driver just tick yes for everything on the check sheet before getting on
Organic-Violinist223@reddit
Can't openly accuse a student of using chatgpt.
SoundsVinyl@reddit
If the jobs going to fast in one part of a warehouse slow down, there is no reward other than more work. My work place has held employees to unrealistic KPI’s for years and unrealistic disciplinary levels for a warehouse job resulting in people leaving or being let go… but the next person they have hired has always been worse and now the job is more arduous, longer, less skill base.
lazyfucker67@reddit
Don’t you dare complain as people will dismiss you as it being self inflicted, at the same time also get asked if you plan on having more. Moms can’t win.
duzra@reddit
Can making. Never say that the line is running well, out loud. The machines will hear you and wreck up.
Rowdy_Roddy_2022@reddit
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
InternationalRide5@reddit
but you can lace its oats with salt.
BabaGanoushHabibi@reddit
Ballerina instructor?
DTH2001@reddit
Groom?
OctaviousBlack@reddit
If you try to show someone else a bug/computer issue then it'll magically fix itself.
Ok-Woodpecker-9266@reddit
BEHIND!
AzzTheMan@reddit
I work in IT - the end user is always wrong. They're not at all, but for every helpful and sensible user there is a user who makes everything sound worse because they think it'll help (when it actually means I'm looking in the wrong place).
CoffinBlz@reddit
Don't fuck the dead.
turkboy@reddit
I work in games design nowadays but was an engineer for many years.
Do not deploy on a FUCKING Friday, ever ever
roguegambit@reddit
Support Practitioners - Caffeine, Nicotine and dark humor are your friends and get you through it when it’s bad.
LocalGMan@reddit
If we’re on a work night out, we’re not allowed to tell people what we do for work!
jackHD@reddit
Video Game Industry.
Don't laugh or gloat over another studios failed game or layoffs.
h00dman@reddit
Do your best to answer questions before they're asked in the documentation, and then brace yourself for all the questions you've answered that they won't read.
Analytics.
puntificates@reddit
Don't start drinking until after the last ticket.
CandyPink69@reddit
I always wanted to be with a chef, until I met a chef and realised he lives off fish fingers, chips and beans 😂
Pius_Thicknesse@reddit
At court we never shake hands with opposing barristers / solicitors
hhfugrr3@reddit
I qualified at the Bar before becoming a solicitor. I always loved the silly old traditions. I remember my criminal advocacy tutor constantly telling us "never call magistrates, "your worships"... it makes you sound like a solicitor." lol
Gold-Perspective5340@reddit
ALWAYS verify for yourself that the circuit is isolated, locked off and you have the only key on your person
TofuTuesday@reddit
An old teaching expression about behaviour management: no smiling til Christmas.
People don’t follow it, on account of that it’s nonsense. But you hear it relatively often.
OverTheCandlestik@reddit
I work in commercial printing. As crazy as it is with machines and printers that cost tens of thousands of pounds and are well maintained, updated and cleaned blues and greens print always look abit iffy
TheRealVinosity@reddit
Winemaker
We generally drink more beer than wine.
ThginkAccbeR@reddit
Office manager. “Leave it with me” actually means “no fucking way.”
GeordieAl@reddit
You do not talk about fight club
Hoth617@reddit
If they initiate physical contact first, our actions are justified
IhaveaDoberman@reddit
Bouncer?
Hoth617@reddit
Not quite but feels like it lol. Government security.
Andries89@reddit
Finance - liaise and build connections with your clients or everything becomes a stream of urgency/escalations
cloche_du_fromage@reddit
Banking project management.
Negotiation before escalation.
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