RunRunDMC212

I usually enjoy it and I think it’s worth learning how to do. It’s a social skill that can help encourage empathy and goodwill towards others.

Not so much anymore, and it’s a shame. I join social clubs related to my hobbies and it’s the best way to meet new people. Running, triathlon, painting, community volunteering, ceramics, knitting, book clubs….ive met new friends of all ages, political views and social backgrounds. Sometimes it can get tense when politics come up, but because we have other things in common, it’s easier to work them out, because there is not so much of a tendency to “other” a guy who you’ve shared a 15 mile training run with, or an older woman who just lost her husband and feels less isolated when she can knit with a group who are happy to chat as they work. Sometimes you need to ask the right questions to find out what’s behind their beliefs, sometimes the group needs ground rules on what topics to avoid because they cause strife…but I think just being in an environment where you are welcomed but also challenged just a little bit every now and then makes for a lot of personal growth and is a positive for society as a whole. As for bowling - I would absolutely join a league if there was an active one here. I’m lacking that specific retired dad energy in my other current groups and I need it in my life.

Graduated HS in ‘94 Was a military kid, so I went to a few different schools with different rules, but all were pretty high-trust, I don’t remember anything outrageously controlling. No hall monitors or security officers in high school and middle school. When I was at a high school on a military base in Germany, it was an open campus - you could go where you wanted on base, as long as you were back in an hour. I sometimes walked home for lunch. Elementary school had kids as safety patrol, but I don’t remember that being anything other than a kid wearing an orange sash and making sure everyone was lined up properly when wrangling distracted kids into lines was necessary - getting on/off busses, filing into the auditorium for assembly, recess, etc. I think we only consistently had front office/nurse passes. Some teachers used bathroom passes but i dont remember it being something you needed if you were seen in the halls.

Noted. Enjoy your travels 🙏

I did not mean it personally - the comment i was replying to says “people here”, not specifically you - apologies if I wasn’t clear. I’ll rephrase it: “I wouldn’t say living in Europe automatically makes one more well travelled…” My point was that I think being “well travelled” is different than merely having visited a lot of countries. It has to include an openness to new experiences and a curiosity about other cultures and points of view. A willingness to be challenged and a graciousness when there are the inevitable moments of friction that happen when one is outside of their familiar environment. It involves active participation and discernment. Otherwise, it’s just collecting passport stamps and taking some photos that you won’t have any real memories attached to, other than “I was here and I saw this thing”. Just because an American did the major sites in a few EU countries in one 7 trip doesn’t make them well travelled. Just as it wouldn’t for a German who went to NYC but never ventured out of midtown unless he was on a tour bus. Both experiences do invoke going to another country, but I couldn’t say that either would qualify one as being “well travelled”.

I wouldn’t say living in Europe automatically makes you more well traveled than anyone else. You can still visit other countries without really experiencing them - my Slovenian in-laws do it all the time. They get away with it in most Northern and Central European countries but it really becomes obvious how stubbornly they hold onto their own cultural biases when they travel outside of that bubble. They aren’t stupid people, but they are very small minded when it comes to other cultures.

I live right next to the Shenandoah National Park and I go hiking there all the time. During the autumn, I’ll do multiple drives along the Skyline to watch the progression of the leaves turning.

My in-laws complain about the poor quality of American food and then proceed to only eat the nastiest fast food they can find while they are here.

When shopping for chest freezers, the volume is measured by how many bodies you think you could fit in it.

My Slovenian in-laws were so aggressively weird about peanut butter when they came to visit us in the states, I assumed that they must only be familiar with some weird, Central European knock-off peanut butter that is made from sawdust and orphans tears. I mean, they are peak Balkan and are ready to be contrary/argumentative about anything, but they were really passionate about hating it AND letting me know they did.

If it’s just a few things, it’s fine. If it’s a whole cart of groceries, nope. The grocery store doesn’t pay me, I’m not getting any kind of discount for a service that has already been factored into the cost of the goods I am buying…so why would I work for them?

I bought my current house in one because it is set back from noisy roads and it is an older community that backs onto protected forest space, so there are lots of mature trees, and I know there won’t be any new development nearby. They used to check cars entering at the gatehouse, but now it’s just left open and there is an occasional security car patrol. I don’t think the security is needed, but a lot of the old timers flipped out when we got rid of the gate guard, so this was the compromise. 🤷‍♀️ I lock my doors when I’m not at home out of habit and common sense, but home invasions/B&E’s just don’t happen here. I’ve accidentally left the garage door open all day and no one has taken anything. No one steals packages off porches. As for fences…part of it IS cultural. Most American homes don’t have tall fences in the front yard because it isn’t considered to be friendly/inviting. It is more common in back gardens which is considered more private. 6ft stock fences (privacy fences) are a thing, but they are often low (around 4ft) picket style, or split rail.

That, Sussudio and Good Enough (The Goonies Theme) were my favorite rollerskating skating rink songs.

Oh wow - sounds like an open faced tuna melt…with tomato sauce! I’d absolutely try that

Lived in an NYC in buildings with and without laundry rooms - first few years were without, so I just sent my laundry to a wash&fold place, but they were hard on clothes, had to hand wash things myself that I didn’t want blasted in hot water and then blasted again in a hot dryer. The next apartment HAD to have in building laundry, and I ended up in a place with a large laundry room in the basement - 8 washers and 10 dryers. Had to wait a bit sometimes if the machines were full, but it was better than sending it out or sitting at the laundromat for a few hours. Now I have a house with a laundry room. It’s the size of a walk in closet with stacked machines, a big utility sink and lots of shelves.

Oh, of course! And Im not quite sure how the film will end - probably in the firey destruction of every kiosk in the mall (yes, including the Sunglasses Hut), and maybe part of the food court - the footnote before the credits will reveal that I am triumphant, but still cursed - because glitter was so prominent in my air brush art business…and it gets in and on EVERYTHING, I will continue finding flecks of it in my classical portraits, which will end up being the feature that gets me a massive following and I will be forced to include it in all upcoming commissions, which are mostly of 70’s and 80’s kitch celebrities)…AND I WILL HAVE BECOME THAT WHICH I HAVE ALWAYS DESPISED.

I shall run the airbrush art kiosk, which has been passed down my family line since the 1970’s (I’ll have resident artists doing classic 80’s van art/lisa frank style, as well as a series of notable guest graffiti artists). It pays the bills, but I’ll yearn for more. I went to art school in Florence, but I had to come back to run the family business and I feel my talents are wasted in the peddling of so much fluorescent spray paint and glitter. I want to show the world my classical art training, so in my retirement, I set up a kiosk that will be full of the “serious” art that I make for intellectual and creative fulfillment, which I have waited my whole life to make, but i insist on complete creative purity and make no concessions to commerce, so of course it doesn’t sell very well. I’ll have a full on 80’s movie style turf war with the guy who sells lower-middle brow, Thomas Kincaid/Bob Ross pastiche oil paintings from the kiosk next to my serious art kiosk. His shit sells like hotcakes, while i seethe in my artistic integrity. Rapidly escalating shenanigans, revenge, destruction and hilarity ensues. Possibly I make an unholy pact with the old hippies at the Color Me Mine pottery painting store to destroy this man for our mutual benefit. The Dies Irea no 1. from Verdi’s Requiem will score the movie trailer for the inevitable summer fun blockbuster this story is turned into. 80’s era Tom Hanks and Shelley Long will star.

Please do!

I like to say that I’m funemployed! Also would like to add to the chorus of zero fucks given, regarding the opinions of others about me (my choices, my appearance, my boundaries). It’s the one way that perimenopause has been such a GIFT.

Born in 76, and I got a bit of both decades in my 20’s. Experiencing the 2000-2010 live music scene in NYC in my twenties and early thirties was such a gift.

It’s the most abundant local resource, but it is also suitable for the environment. Most of the US gets very large swings in temperature and humidity and wood framing can expand and contract to better accommodate those shifts.

Yes, they’ll refold it if it isn’t visibly grubby, otherwise will bring you a new one. I dont mind etiquette rules, especially in dining. The rules aren’t there to intimidate or make anyone feel inferior, they are there to make everyone more comfortable because we’re all following the same playbook. 🙂

To expand on that - if you plan on returning/continuing the meal, napkin goes on chair - it is considered soiled/used, so you wouldn’t put it on the table while still dining. If you’re done and are leaving the table at the end of the meal, THEN it goes on table, to the left of the plate - not directly on it.

And it just looks terrible. Now you’re sitting at a table that looks like a dishwasher’s station, and the manager probably sees it, also thinks it looks like garbage, and wonders if his server isn’t doing their job properly.

Husband lost his on a cricket pitch 4 years after we were married - he is no longer trusted with tiny nice things. I stopped wearing mine everyday when I was into triathlons - that was around 10 years after he lost his. I still have it but it probably needs to be resized, which is a bit more involved because it has pave diamonds around the entire band, so they would probably all need to be reset.

I smoked 12 years, quit for good in 2006. Took me a couple of tries - the only aids I had available were nicotine gum and the patch. What helped the most was when the smoking ban in NYC came into effect. All of a sudden, I couldn’t easily smoke while drinking, and fighting my way through the crowd at a bar to get outside for a cigarette meant I REALLY wanted one, so that helped me break the habit of drunken chain smoking. I also went through a big lifestyle change - stopped partying, joined a running club and changed my environment and ny habits. Had one drag on a cigarette on New Year’s Eve a couple of years later and it tasted disgusting, so that was it. I watched my father die from stage 4 lung cancer and COPD five years ago and I never want to witness that again. My in-laws are Slovenian and going to visit them is always a challenge. They all smoke like chimneys and the culture is still very friendly towards smokers, so it can be frustrating because it’s hard to get away from in any public space. I can’t stand being around it now, and it’s become a migraine trigger for me.

“Hush my darling, don’t you cry. Guardian angels….ruin lives?” That’s what my memory is giving me. I refuse to google it.

She’s 73! This happened like 2 years ago? I was elementary school age in the 80’s and she was the coolest mom because she taught jazzercise and loved new wave, so we had 45’s (and later cassingles) of all the stuff that charted because she’d get them for her classes. She had loads of great misinterpretations that I remember from childhood car trip sing-alongs. For the longest time she thought the Go-Go’s were singing about islands of seals.

Also a great interpretation!

Ill have to ask my mother if she can include this in future renditions 😄

Dirty Japanese…debatable on whether this is worse than the meaning of the correct lyrics

I almost drove off the road laughing when my mother was singing along to “voices carry” by Til Tuesday: “Hush, hush…keep it downtown…this is Gary”

The 2000 ELO version is even better https://youtu.be/pK9s2eUnhUY?si=p5uOZGZe2JcjiJPE

I respect your commitment!

Len - Steal My Sunshine

A Long December was mine 😂

It’s becoming “trash” all over the world. Nightclubs in Europe are closing or reducing operations because young people don’t go out and drink like they used to.

Those are pretty broad parameters - broadly speaking, I can associate with some individuals on the other side of the isle fine. ‘People’ as a group? Not really, not anymore. Leaving out the actual issues that are driving it, the way ‘people’ disagree or debate almost ANYTHING in recent years is too toxic.

Ha! We weren’t particularly religious, but both of my parents worked, and the episcopal church we sporadically attended had a summer day camp that my mom put us in so that we weren’t bored and unsupervised at home all summer. Sure, we sometimes had to do Churchy Joe stuff, and the bus ride songs we sang couldn’t be off-color, but it was mostly regular activities - roller skating, local pool visits, crafts. No one was heavily religious…maybe a couple of kids were, but they were considered a bit weird and they mostly kept to themselves.

Here is a timeline of German immigration to the US. It looks to have peaked between the mid-19th and early 20th centuries. According to the timeline, as of 2022, it is still one of the largest self-reported ethnic groups in the US. https://guides.loc.gov/germans-in-america/chronology The same site also has a tab about German language newspapers in the US. there aren’t as many still operating today, but at one point the German-American press was the most extensive of any immigrant group. https://guides.loc.gov/germans-in-america/german-american-newspapers

Because these young people clearly haven’t seen someone they know and love live with and eventually die from lung cancer or COPD. And they haven’t yet seen what it does to age you.

Friendship bracelets!!! I remember using my father’s clipboard to hold the strands at the top, so it was easier to knot them. I got in trouble when I spilled nail polish on it and just snuck it back into his office without telling him. It became ‘my’ clipboard after that. 😄💅

I am a born again slacker

Absolutely! There were poetry readings and acoustic music and my favorite one had a used bookstore attached. My parents used to drop me off and pick me up if I needed a ride. I wasn’t getting drunk or pregnant hanging out with those nerds, so they were happy to turn a blind eye to the smoking and would give me coffee and book money. 🤓

Ha! We did so much acid when I went to college in 94/95. 🤣

I was 17. Suburban southern town in Va. High school was fun. I wasn’t one of the popular kids, I was one of the ‘alternative’ kids - we were mostly in drama club or were skateboarders or had after school bands (all terrible). We kind of floated in our own pond and kids from other groups would dip in and out. Maybe I’m remembering an idealized version, but I honestly don’t remember paying much attention to anyone I thought was an asshole. Music was everything! The Cure, Depeche Mode, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, PJ Harvey, NiN, Skinny Puppy, Ministry, Bjork, Tori Amos, New Order, Morrissey and The Smiths…that was the stuff I remember being the most mainstream for my group - all could be found on MTV. Definitely had more niche stuff as well. Coordinated with friends on who was going to buy which CD or ask for it for Christmas and then make everyone a cassette copy. Mixtapes were the coolest form of self expression. We read Spin and Rolling Stone every month. Alternative Nation and 120 minutes were must views on MTV. My dad travelled a lot for work and would sometimes bring me British music and fashion mags like The Face and ID and we treasured them like holy relics. Getting your drivers license was the most important thing. Gas was cheap, used cars were cheap. My best friend had a red 1970’s era Chrysler LeBaron that we called the Fire Engine. Thing was an absolute tank. Best car for cruising - along with hanging out at coffee shops, that was our favorite group activity. The movie Dazed and Confused portrays it perfectly. No one wore designer labels or aspired to, you pulled together your own look as best you could from thrift stores and the coolest stuff you could find at the mall. And no one cared that deeply about clothes beyond band t-shirts, doc martins and Birkenstocks. That’s the stuff that had to be real - everything else you figured it out as best you could.

Planes flew with many empty seats all the time. Was very easy to have at least one empty seat next to you, and not uncommon to sometimes get the whole row. Getting onto the plane was a breeze - I’d show up towards the middle of boarding and just waltz on. No security lines, no crazy gate lines and no gate lice.

Recording them talking/telling stories. I really wish I had done this with my dad. He was so intelligent and funny and had done so much in his life. I’ve listened to countless stories but I don’t have a record of him telling them and I regret it all the time. My family and his friends all remember him by telling those stories and our own stories about him to each other and that keeps them alive and his memory close. As remembrance of his voice, I’ve saved the last couple of years of voice mails from him - from annoyed questions about how to connect to his printer (again) to “I just got in a cab, what’s your address (same address he’s been going to for 15 years), to the very ‘military dad’ message that is nothing more than a stern (and terrifying) “this is your father, call me back as soon as possible”, and I panic and think someone’s dead, but when I call back it’s “hiiiiiiiiiieeeee! Was wondering if you watched last night’s Curb Your Enthusiasm!” (And then he starts quoting it, badly). At least I still have those. 😄

Regular at an old school deli or coffee/bagel cart in NYC will get you milk and two sugar packets - at the cart it will already be added to the coffee unless you request otherwise. Some delis still make it for you, but many have moved to a self service model.

I always arrange it on the belt to make it easier to bag like items and spread the heavy stuff out evenly. I recently had a cashier say “oh, you’re a real one”, pack it quickly, and say “no notes” when he gave me my receipt. It made my goddamn week.