morris_man

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.” “Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?” "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?” The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds." The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!" The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!" The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

Three bed semi - around 200w. Various IT things, fridge freezer, stuff on standby

[One of these](http://www.simoncars.co.uk/morriscv/slides/Morris%205cwt%20Series%20II%20Van%20front.jpg)

I am also >70 but know them all except As I was going to Charing Cross

Just got to go turn my bike round

Ford Popular E93A https://preview.redd.it/533kodv2kqrg1.png?width=1792&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc1b4c3535c941ee511e4757a9a58c9189e95d7e

I recieved £14 12s 10p for my first month's salary in 1970, does that count

Join your local Men's Shed, learn woodworking/metalworking skills plus what ever else your shed offers.

You could not reverse search in a phone book unless you were willing to read through every entry until you found the number you wanted

And the MoD Plods

Morgan 3 wheeler cars

07-nnn-nnn-nnn but just because it suits the numbers in my mobile number

Shoebox in the loft

Kind of boring, but a first aid kit is a good idea, you won't need one until you need it badly

In Winchester Cathedral graveyard a warning against weak beer In Memory of Thomas Thetcher a Grenadier in the North Reg. of Hants Militia, who died of a violent Fever contracted by drinking Small Beer when hot the 12 May 1764. Aged 26 Years.

Ah! The dead animal zoo

I had a private investigation of an eye problem but ran out of funding so asked the private consultant what to do. He referred me to himself on the NHS the next week.

Morris dancing (well playing for them anyway) at the village pub

I'm an OAP and I use my watch. My wife is an OAP and she uses her phone.

https://storybicycles.com/blogs/ebike-blog/study-shows-e-bike-riders-get-more-exercise-than-traditional-bike-riders

If you ignore the endorsement on my driving licence for parking on the zig zag lines of a zebra crossing some 40 odd years ago I have never troubled the police in my >70 years

Bonus, bonus tip, don't go for your appointment on your push bike. I did, not a good idea

And college

As its opthalmology did the appointment warn you that you may be given dilation eye drops so you must not drive. They also mean you will be next to useless for at least a couple of hours.

Same here, in fact been with them from when they were Frizzels as I got discount by being a member if the CSMA

G G G G Granville

I passed my test in 1974 and have just tried the DVSA's online theory taest mock test and scored 48/50 in under 10 minutes (60 minutes allowed). The two I got wrong I think were depatable, but then I guess I would. Neither of my 'wrong' answers were in anyway dangerous

Mayor Weighing in High Wycombe [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ysgeSN9dqw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ysgeSN9dqw)

Vienna, fabulos place

I have 5kW of panels on the roof and 5kWh battery. Over the very sunny summer we had I got £150 for export

No we didn't

As I'm >70 no thanks

Just got one of these which seems to meet your requirements and comes with a flip case and earbuds for £169. I'm more than happy with mine [https://www.oneplus.com/uk/buy-oneplus-pad-lite](https://www.oneplus.com/uk/buy-oneplus-pad-lite)

Single socket in the hall powers an extension lead with 12 outlets for Computer 2nd screen Various chargers Shredder Router Hive hub Printer

Martin Carthy

The cameras do not measure your speed only the time you passed it

Norma Waterson

I lived in Hounslow for 5 years and after a few weeks did not really notice the noise and this was in the 70s when planes were very much noisier.

I'm being driven crazy by poor spelling - Adivice, Plagguing, Advisesnd

First Aid kit

Do you have a base to put it on. Just layeda 5x8m base which cost around £1000 for readymix, shuttering, reinforcing mesh

The bulb does indeed just pull down to remove [https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/31yv0gl2eoL.\_AC\_SL1000\_.jpg](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/31yv0gl2eoL._AC_SL1000_.jpg)

Cotswold Morris Dancing

Hot water + Kilrock K Descaler + 15 minutes and it will all be gone

Good Moaning, Now listen very carefully I shall say this only once, I watched and still do when it comes round in Freeview. It has worn better than many comedy programmes of its era.

GiffGaff here, £10 for 20Gb, Unlimited calls/texts, perfectly good 5G coverage where I live and where I visit

Yep, at my local a large cod and regular chips (£11) does for me and my wife usually with chips left over.

Having been bought up with mass showers at school for PE/games and mass changing rooms at the swimming pool I have seen many nude men and it has had no effect on me. So willies on display in toilets has no effect at all.

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtyHkT65dEs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtyHkT65dEs)

Watched it this week, it was on A tribute to the narrator who had just died