maomaodong

• I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 114 comments

• "A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 18 comments

• I was getting nowhere chatting up this very attractive classy looking lady the other night, so I asked her,

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 26 comments

• The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 48 comments

• I came home from work early to catch my son getting a blowjob from his girlfriend.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 85 comments

• "Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 77 comments

• If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 24 comments

• Me and three guys in the pub were struggling to settle an argument about who was the best lover when one guy suggested he had a sound measuring device and we should all take it in turns to record how loud our wives scream during sex.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 62 comments

• The Dark Knight Rises.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 0 comments

• Anal sex keeps my wife really fit.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 91 comments

• A blond woman goes to the hospital.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 25 comments

• I just got a phone call from a representative from Google.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 17 comments

• A man was trialed at court for the charge of necrophiliac.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 12 comments

• No divorce is ever really just one person's fault. Usually the blame is a straight 50:50

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 2 comments

• I was having lunch with a female colleague when I saw my wife come in.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 44 comments

• I walked to the doctor's clinic and said, "I have a severe erectile dysfunction problem."

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments

• "F*cking hell love, this is interesting." I said to the wife, looking up from my computer.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 76 comments

• I remember watching this excellent porno back in 2012 so I tried to find it on the internet.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 127 comments

• "I think I've been bitten on my bum," said my wife, bending over and pulling up her skirt. "Can you see it?"

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 79 comments

• After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for company, Bob and George are getting horny.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 53 comments

• My step daughter returned home from school whilst the wife was out shopping, "how was your day"? I said.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 26 comments

• If you want to get a man's attention, talk about tits.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 65 comments

• My wife has just accused me of having sex with her identical twin sister.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 50 comments

• My wife's sister visited us yesterday in her brand new Porsche.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 40 comments

• Onlyfans has pledged to plant a new tree for every hundred videos watched.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 55 comments

• My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture."

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 76 comments

• I hate when Doctors asks questions such as: "Are you sexually active?"

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 91 comments

• I heard that Yoga class was a great place to meet women, so I went every day for six months.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 68 comments

• As I was licking out my secretary today I suddenly stopped and said, "Susan, I can't do this to my wife."

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 73 comments

• I'm no longer a wanker.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 9 comments

• I had just made myself a nice cup of tea and sat down when my wife came in, pulled her clothes off and said,

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 106 comments

• My girlfriend just got a very interesting fortune cookie:

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 60 comments

• My wife found my girlfriend's panties under the bed.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 128 comments

• As a protective father to a teenage daughter I thought it was time to teach her some life skills.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 63 comments

• I happily ejaculated on my black towel and left it to hang on the window for drying.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments

• According to studies, a man that excessively masturbates has a tendency to forget important pieces of information.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 59 comments

• A young couple are snogging. The young lad asks "Can I have a blow job please?"

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 116 comments

• A guy goes to the doctor. “Doctor, you gotta help me, my anus is killing me.”

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 14 comments

• I was interviewing a girl for Porn site yesterday.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments

• I knocked on my hot neighbour's door.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 24 comments

• The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss the matter.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 83 comments

• If during the first five minutes of meeting a new person, he doesn't tell you he is a vegan...

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments

• It's my birthday today and, as a special treat, my wife has said I can have anything I want tonight.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 19 comments

• A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 68 comments

• One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 22 comments

• My nosy neighbour popped his head over the fence and said, "How did your trip to Amsterdam go?"

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 36 comments

• Awkward: Bumping onto your boss at a hookup hotel.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 4 comments

• I pulled a chick the last night and took her back to my house. As I lay back on the bed, she slowly unbuttoned my jeans and said, "Fancy a blow job?"

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 7 comments

• When someone is murdered, the police always investigate the spouse first.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments

• I just found out my wife has a twin sister.

  Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 31 comments