maomaodong
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I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 114 comments
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"A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 18 comments
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I was getting nowhere chatting up this very attractive classy looking lady the other night, so I asked her,
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 26 comments
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The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 48 comments
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I came home from work early to catch my son getting a blowjob from his girlfriend.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 85 comments
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"Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 77 comments
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If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 24 comments
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Me and three guys in the pub were struggling to settle an argument about who was the best lover when one guy suggested he had a sound measuring device and we should all take it in turns to record how loud our wives scream during sex.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 62 comments
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The Dark Knight Rises.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 0 comments
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Anal sex keeps my wife really fit.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 91 comments
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A blond woman goes to the hospital.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 25 comments
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I just got a phone call from a representative from Google.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 17 comments
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A man was trialed at court for the charge of necrophiliac.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 12 comments
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No divorce is ever really just one person's fault. Usually the blame is a straight 50:50
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 2 comments
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I was having lunch with a female colleague when I saw my wife come in.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 44 comments
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I walked to the doctor's clinic and said, "I have a severe erectile dysfunction problem."
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments
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"F*cking hell love, this is interesting." I said to the wife, looking up from my computer.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 76 comments
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I remember watching this excellent porno back in 2012 so I tried to find it on the internet.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 127 comments
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"I think I've been bitten on my bum," said my wife, bending over and pulling up her skirt. "Can you see it?"
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 79 comments
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After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for company, Bob and George are getting horny.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 53 comments
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My step daughter returned home from school whilst the wife was out shopping, "how was your day"? I said.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 26 comments
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If you want to get a man's attention, talk about tits.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 65 comments
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My wife has just accused me of having sex with her identical twin sister.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 50 comments
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My wife's sister visited us yesterday in her brand new Porsche.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 40 comments
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Onlyfans has pledged to plant a new tree for every hundred videos watched.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 55 comments
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My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture."
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 76 comments
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I hate when Doctors asks questions such as: "Are you sexually active?"
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 91 comments
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I heard that Yoga class was a great place to meet women, so I went every day for six months.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 68 comments
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As I was licking out my secretary today I suddenly stopped and said, "Susan, I can't do this to my wife."
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 73 comments
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I'm no longer a wanker.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 9 comments
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I had just made myself a nice cup of tea and sat down when my wife came in, pulled her clothes off and said,
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 106 comments
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My girlfriend just got a very interesting fortune cookie:
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 60 comments
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My wife found my girlfriend's panties under the bed.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 128 comments
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As a protective father to a teenage daughter I thought it was time to teach her some life skills.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 63 comments
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I happily ejaculated on my black towel and left it to hang on the window for drying.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments
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According to studies, a man that excessively masturbates has a tendency to forget important pieces of information.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 59 comments
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A young couple are snogging. The young lad asks "Can I have a blow job please?"
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 116 comments
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A guy goes to the doctor. “Doctor, you gotta help me, my anus is killing me.”
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 14 comments
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I was interviewing a girl for Porn site yesterday.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments
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I knocked on my hot neighbour's door.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 24 comments
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The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss the matter.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 83 comments
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If during the first five minutes of meeting a new person, he doesn't tell you he is a vegan...
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments
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It's my birthday today and, as a special treat, my wife has said I can have anything I want tonight.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 19 comments
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A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 68 comments
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One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 22 comments
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My nosy neighbour popped his head over the fence and said, "How did your trip to Amsterdam go?"
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 36 comments
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Awkward: Bumping onto your boss at a hookup hotel.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 4 comments
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I pulled a chick the last night and took her back to my house. As I lay back on the bed, she slowly unbuttoned my jeans and said, "Fancy a blow job?"
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 7 comments
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When someone is murdered, the police always investigate the spouse first.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments
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I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 31 comments