After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for company, Bob and George are getting horny.

Posted by maomaodong@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 53 comments

"Look," says Bob, "Neither of us are gay, but if you pretend to be a women for me, when I'm done, I'll pretend to be a woman for you." George reluctantly agrees and suffers 10 minutes of painful humiliation as Bob f*cks him up. When it's over, George asks Bob for his go. "F*ck off," Bob replies, "I've got a headache."

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53 Comments

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RebekkaKat1990@reddit

I never understood this scenario. I mean, yeah, they’ll get horny but why can’t they just jerk off on opposite ends of the island like civilized folk?

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R0b0tJesus@reddit

One of them could sprain their wrist. On a desert island without access to medical care, this is too risky. Fucking each other is the only option.

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NuclearLunchDectcted@reddit

God forbid one of them breaks both of their arms.

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Mekroval@reddit

And their moms aren't on the island, so they're really in trouble.

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Molwar@reddit

Actually it's Son of God

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reddit_wisd0m@reddit

Nice try Bob

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skinbiscuit@reddit

Jesus is always the rational one🤣🤣

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IronJohn86@reddit

You not a man, until you've had a man 😂😂

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jbauer68@reddit

Because then the author won’t be able to express his latent homosexuality.

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AznKilla@reddit

Bob is gay.

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Swiggy1957@reddit

It would put a lot of prison shower jokes out of business. And lest we forget the ships at sea. While [Cabin Boys](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabin_boy) were often put in the light of being bottoms for the officers and crew, apparently the long voyages did see some [homosexual activities](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/s/rSIH6kxWtt) these sailors were more Bi than gay, but at the time, it was something that they looked the other way and wasn't discussed.

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forbinwasright@reddit

Why opposite ends of the island? There's a reason the circle jerk was invented.

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HillbillyHijinx@reddit

Or just do a double Dutch rudder. Then no one is gay.

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jefbenet@reddit

Dutch rudder would be the Christian way about it.

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No-Acanthisitta8803@reddit

I suppose for the same reason some people go "gay for the stay" in prison. For some people either out of laziness or who knows why they aren't satisfied unless they're involving another warm being with a pulse

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spylife@reddit

What? I thought you weren't supposed to break eye contact

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Icy_Sector3183@reddit

The local bylaws don't allow it.

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goodoldjefe@reddit

You know, with neither man having any experience offering sexual comfort to a fellow, starting right off with buggery seems like a LOT.

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esojotrebla@reddit

Bro, you don't understand lol ( kidding)

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midtown_museo@reddit

Because that would ruin the joke.

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Make_the_music_stop@reddit

It did not happen. Bit like those jokes with talking animals.

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corourke@reddit

You know what happened on the island stayed on the island, no reason to deny it. We all saw you row back to the island after you got rescued. You and that parrot that was owned by a Madame.

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rpgsandarts@reddit

Grammar correction: It’s “neither of us is gay” rather than “are” bc “neither” is a singular subject Perhaps Bob doesn’t know this, though. Deep characterization

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PhilipWaterford@reddit

Are all sand art enthusiasts this particular about grammar?

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RebekkaKat1990@reddit

It’s “it’s” if it’s “it is.” It’s “its” if it’s not “it’s.”

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Betialai@reddit

That depends whether the weather may change in May

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RMor25@reddit

I thought this was funny, but my wife says she doesn’t. I was already in trouble for something I did in a dream she had, so thanks for adding to that.

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MotoXwolf@reddit

Wives don’t like that they have this prudishness / non-sexual stereotype, but it’s a stereotype for a real reason. Married men are statistically more horny than married women. (Yes, there are exceptions in all relationships and it can be the opposite). But in the media / movies it’s played out as the typical “I have a headache” scenario by the woman character because this was found to be the case in society by the numbers. Sorry your wife can’t enjoy the humor in it. 😂

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Malalang@reddit

It's not prudishness. You're just not man enough to make her feel like a woman.

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bug2th@reddit

Typical manipulation. Say something to make someone else feel bad/guilty to get your way…

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Malalang@reddit

What way am I trying to get? I'm happily married with a very generous wife. Is it really so preferable to blame others for your own problems?

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bug2th@reddit

Well. You deleted the original message that was being downvoted so now you can say whatever you want. And I’m not sure what you think you are being blamed for.

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Malalang@reddit

I did not delete or edit anything.

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bug2th@reddit

Well again…. I responded to a comment that is now deleted. So if you were offended why wouldn’t I think you created/deleted it??

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RMor25@reddit

Today is my 23rd anniversary, and I was just joking. My wife is (reads script) amazing, incredible, selfless, tireless and beautiful. She has also never had a headache in her life. I’m lucky to have her!

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More_Mind6869@reddit

That's where I drew the line ! It's one thing to get in shit for what I've done. It's a whole other ball of worms to get in trouble for her damn dreams ! That was it, man... No way to make her happy when she's acting out her nightmares against me....

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Zakluor@reddit

When my wife gets angry at me for something "I" did in her dream, I say, "Wow! Dream Zakluor is a real asshole." It dissociates the behaviour from me, shows her I'm on her side, and she can even laugh sometimes. Unless it's something that real you *would* do. In that case, you may deserve her ire.

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Redd1tored1tor@reddit

\*a woman for me

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Harlow1263@reddit

All this years Gilligans island and neither Ginger or MaryAnn got knocked up. Skipper and Gilligan must’ve been gay, the professor was asexual and Mr Howell was afraid he’d get caught or couldn’t get it up. Professor made radios, metal detectors, cars etc but could patch the damn boat.

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geodebug@reddit

Professor was boning M and G, which is why he never patched the boat. Smartest man is smart.

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Switch-in-MD@reddit

He took some of the copper from the ignition wiring and made them both IUDs.

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modsaretoddlers@reddit

Plot twist: the "mainland" was 20 feet away, across the wading area.

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banana_buddy@reddit

Plot twist: George intentionally got them stranded for this exact scenario.

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Keats852@reddit

And then there was only one..

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Contrabaz@reddit

And John became a necrophiliac.

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OgOnetee@reddit

Of corpse you went there...

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Takenabe@reddit

Wow, I don't remember this at all. At what point does Mega Man come in with the tank of ice cream?

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ProfessionalDot8419@reddit

I knew there was some kind of catch like this, but I didn’t predict the punchline. Nice!

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5pinktoes@reddit

Saw this coming. lol

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BrainCane@reddit

So did George.

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bluecheckthis@reddit

George didn't see him coming because he had his back to him

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LysergicPlato59@reddit

Bob and George move to Alaska and build a cabin. After months of loneliness, they both craft crude replicas of women out of cedar boards. Years later, Bob returns to Seattle and is accosted by a friend. The friend asks what happened to George. “I had to kill that son of a bitch” Bob mutters. “Why on earth would you do that”? his friend asked. “I caught him in bed with my board” Bob explained.

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BobBartBarker@reddit

Pretty cold but what do you expect on a desert Island.