edfitz83

• Guy takes his wife and two small kids on a driving vacation, and checks into a cheap motel. He asks the clerk, “for the sake of our kids TV viewing, can we have the porn disabled?”

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 18 comments

• I don’t think I’m gay…

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 9 comments

• Rich people like having a vase of fresh roses on their grand piano

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 4 comments

• I met a Tinder hookup at a motel. We went right inside and got nekkid. Then she covered her mouth, pointed at my dick, and burst into laughter

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 11 comments

• Today in the Strait of Hormuz, a ship carrying red paint was hit by a drone, and crashed into a freighter carrying purple paint

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 4 comments

• I’m getting older so I decided to create a will. As part of my final wishes, I told my family that I wanted my remains scattered at DisneyWorld in Orlando

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 35 comments

• A major automotive supplier announced their new “green” initiatives today. They want to recycle used condoms that were flushed down the toilet and got caught in the screen filters at major sewage treatment plants

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 7 comments

• I was at a wedding, and a really old guy stumbles up to my table, points at me, and loudly says “I fucked your grandma!”

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 16 comments

• A guy walks into a fine dining restaurant with his emotional support alligator

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 9 comments

• Is gambling an obsession in the UK?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 2 comments

• A bird is flying south for the winter. He lands in a farmers field to take a rest. A cow comes by and takes a huge shit on top of him.

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 2 comments

• A young bull and an old bull are at the top of a hill.

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 18 comments

• [ Removed by moderator ]

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• A guy meets a girl for a tinder hookup

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• [ Removed by moderator ]

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• Bill is on a camping trip takes a piss in the deep woods, and a startled rattlesnake bites him in the cock.

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments

• A young guy came into work last Monday, telling all of us how cute she was, and showing photos

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 0 comments

• A young guy at worked walked in last Monday saying he hooked up with a super cute girl

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• I used to use cliches when writing and speaking

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• About 3 weeks ago, my 9 yo used the word “shit” at the dinner table, that he learned from the older boys. I told him that’s a grown up word, and he should say “shucks” instead

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 76 comments

• I’ll always remember my grandpa’s last words to me, when I was just 9

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 90 comments

• I just saw a 1970’s BBC interview of a WWII British Spitfire pilot, who had a heavy Scottish accent, about a mission to fly as a fighter escort for bombers targeting Germany

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 40 comments

• [Trigger Warning - this joke is dark, tasteless, and offensive]. I refinanced my mortgage, and it was just like my newly adopted puppy

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 7 comments

• Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments

• Guy walks into a restaurant with his emotional support alligator

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 8 comments

• I invited golf buddies over for drinks and to watch an adult film

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 5 comments

• What do Captain Kirk and Charmin have in common?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 4 comments

• What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 11 comments

• My son is a Junior in Comp Sci, and sent out over 1000 resumes, looking for a summer job. He got one offer, unfortunately not in his field

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments

• A 4th grade teacher asked her class who could use the word “definitely” in a sentence. Little Johnny’s hand shot up, and he said - Miss Jones, do farts have lumps in them?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 46 comments

• Guy walks into a bar with his emotional support alligator

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 29 comments

• If a one L “lama” is a Tibetan monk, and a 2 L “lama” is an animal similar to an alpaca, what is a 3 L “lama”?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 83 comments

• Last Sunday at the start of church, I cut the smelliest fart

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 10 comments

• I just saw an ad for a summer fest concert that costs $0.45.

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments

• My manager fired me today from my job as a “sandwich artist”, because he caught me about to put my dick into the pickle slicer

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 13 comments

• Sons of rich men expect to inherit their dad’s large luxury yachts

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 2 comments

• Guy gets out of prison, goes right to the nearest whorehouse, and meets the crusty old Madam

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 79 comments

• What party appetizers is made from the wombs of hammerheads and great whites?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments

• A bear is taking a shit in the woods, and he spots a rabbit close to him, doing the same

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 15 comments

• Two goldfish find themselves inside the same tank

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 7 comments

• Little Johnny’s 3rd grade teacher asked the class to use the word “definitely” in a sentence. Johnny was the only student to raise his hand, so the teacher reluctantly called on him

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 56 comments

• I went on a date with a blind girl. We got along great, and she suggested I take her back to her place for some sexy time. I said, “I have to warn you, my penis is only 3 inches long”

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 81 comments

• My employer made all of us take the Myers-Briggs personality test, so that we could all “understand each other better”. My personality type was a newly introduced one - HTIL

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 33 comments

• What do you get when you mix human DNA with DNA from a 6 week old piglet?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 9 comments

• A girl asked me over for a hot date. I was taking her from behind, and she yelled, “Hurt me! Hurt me!”

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 6 comments

• What is the difference between Jelly and Jam?

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments

• It was warm today, so my wife went with friends to play golf. She came back home in about 30 minutes, in extreme pain

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 50 comments

• My wife and I went out for Italian last night, and of course, we over-ordered and left with a doggie bag. We passed a kid about 13 looking in really sorry shape, who asked for our food, which we gladly gave him

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 37 comments

• My bud was a bartender at the Grammy’s this year. He told me Eminem walked in with a beautiful, colorful parrot on his shoulder. My friend said “Hey, that boy is so pretty, he deserves a Grammy! Where did you get it?”

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 1 comments

• A ship carrying red paint crashed into a ship carrying purple paint

  Posted by edfitz83@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 22 comments