Positive_Hall_3207

I agree. Parisian born and in the US for 20+ years. I do long stays in Paris but I have a like/ dislike relationship with Paris and France as a whole. I had it before I immigrated to the US. I don’t want to go back permanently, I like other EU countries and other continents’ destinations. I am not considered French or American by both countries , I am an hybrid , I call myself a replicant ;)

I can relate to your situation. I am from France and I live in California. I have an immune system disease that is debilitating and affects my energy level and mobility at times. The transition from working full time to part time to periods of no work was difficult to adjust with , mentally and emotionally. I did some therapy , I started volunteering in my community( sometimes for few hours or raising money) and I found some Art and craft groups, expat groups, some people with my medical condition. Some online as well, sometimes I just read on forums and blogs. Also I met people who were kind and understanding about my life situation and engage with about different things, light hearted conversations, a chat over tea , a small walk, an exchange of skills/ interests. Homesickness is real and the feeling of not quite fitting doesn’t really go away. Those affect expats in different degrees and different ways. Social isolation is not something to treat lightly though in my personal experience. Maybe plan a longer stay in the UK as well if possible. Your feelings are valid. I send you love and light to keep in your pocket .

I think living as an expat is not for everyone. It is not as easy as people portray it at times. It takes years sometimes to get accustomed to a life abroad and I know people who left and some whom stayed because of their children, partner or couldn’t afford to move for example. It is not talked about in a frank manner , it is downplayed as a way to protect from the responses of other people, positive or not . This is not my life , not my decision , I don’t judge . I also don’t expect others to understand or validate my personal decision . Emotions can get in a way of making decisions and vice versa . I hope you find solace in returning to the US and I hope you find what you are looking for that fits. I have been an expat for half my life and this feeling of quite not fitting still exists at times. I embrace it. Both Europeans and Americans think I am an hybrid. Life can be so complicated and difficult at times as an expat/ immigrant I don’t add more emotional pressure on myself. So take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Be well.

Unfortunately this is my experience as well. A fair , balanced worldview is hard to find. The Expat Bubble of Privileges , EBP as I call it drives me crazy . I can’t stay in it.

Thank you . I think it depends on temperament / personality traits , the reasons for the expatriation, the length of time spend abroad , career , single or in a relationship, children or none and the amount of money available. Those factors will create different personal experiences which will influence the way someone will feel .

I understand this feeling. I lived almost half my life in France and the US . I call myself an hybrid at this point. Both cultures are different in many ways but also similar. I am constantly seeing as a foreigner by both. Very Americanized for my family and friends in France and still very European for the Americans ( raised in France) . I don’t mind it , it gives me a nuanced approach to both countries, a uniqueness I don’t dislike. But I feel like a nomad , an out of place sensation, I will never feel like a native born and I missed years of experiencing the effects of living in France. No I am doing longer stays in France and Europe which are reinforcing the foreigner feeling . I love visiting but I built a life in the US so permanently leaving would be hard to do. Also I live in California so weather wise I don’t want to live in Paris during certain months. I will do South of Italy, Spain or Portugal due to my immune system disease.

Also this . The Pierrot. https://preview.redd.it/mmhrbmvheqqg1.jpeg?width=194&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30d0e29bf24d6787197c240d7c0831145b5a3276

https://preview.redd.it/d311dqeaeqqg1.jpeg?width=333&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=383903ec8cd38b8983ae5c420624a05a125895a8 It was very popular in the mass produce lithographs of the time . Bernard Buffet.

Here is one I saw many times. And spared you the sad clown I saw in France in my youth . https://preview.redd.it/ms914g77eqqg1.jpeg?width=883&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d935cd0f8fb3ba51707eb679e298cabcf4374bc

I am in the first category, helping and sharing without judging or shaming.I can be stern and direct but I remember how I felt being dismissed or ridiculed by older people in my younger years . French expat if it matters, 52 years old.

You can criticize both Countries on different issues. And trust me I found plenty at times. But I don’t think your personal life experience should be the reason for a blanket statement. You can still do plenty of things while in a suburban area. It is more difficult at times but there are solutions especially if you feel lonely or unsettled after a big move . I understand that, trust me. I lived through it. But this a temporary situation. You are young, you are going to school. You have opportunities to meet people . I walk around and sometimes I was the only one walking around but see I went and found an hiking group. You can join a group, a sport even help a local organization/ charity if you have some time. Give it time . Some French people complain a lot , some are extremely negative, some places in France have little access to many things as well. You are an intelligent young man . The tone of your post and some responses did not reflect your positive traits. I apologize for being blunt .

French expat here . Don’t disparage others for their response to you , tips they are providing. Don’t look down at the center because it doesn’t cater to your personal interests. Contempt is not the way to make you look good nor to have a constructive conversation. You don’t like the suburban lifestyle., I don’t like it much for Myself either . Parisian born here , I get it. But making it a generalization on what the U.S is about is intellectually dishonest at best . I spent half my life in Both France and the US , lived in different states , Cities ( big and small) , traveled extensively and I see this kinda post from Europe and the US . You have the opportunity to live back home while going to college. Find some way to speak about this country without sounding condescending . Ingrate/ ingrat works in both countries. I think this is Trolling TBH

Parisian born here . I moved from D.C to San Diego at one time so I understand that Southern California vibe , daily life are definitely not Europe/ East Coast . I moved to Bay Area next . I miss East Coast/ Europe at times but there are a lot of pluses for living in California. Have you thought of using your degree in the Luxury Industry by working for luxury brands, high end department stores. To start over, save money and move to Los Angeles or NYC ? You can work as an assistant to a stylist or start your own business. Be a personal shopper? Cater to a niche clientele? Little steps to meet people . Work for film production companies, apply for fashion/ entertainment magazines ? To name a few things. I did some of those . Los Angeles has a lot to offer . NYC is a longer goal . Paris is hard if you don’t speak the language and don’t have solid connections. Try to keep your French level and work on it . Many French speakers in California big cities . You know you are lucky to have family here willing to help you. I know starting again at 35 years old is not easy but it is very feasible especially if you do Luxury Fashion . I think you will figure it out. I hope it helps.

I wrote this not too long ago when asked about a traumatic experience in my life . Born in 1974, straight Female,From Paris , France . Vivid visits to my uncle dying of AIDS in the 80s . He was in the hospice ward with other young men who looked like WWII concentration camp prisoners . A room with a window, metal beds and nothing else. Their breathing sounds I can still hear . Their eyes were enormous and afraid . Nothing on the walls, no family visiting just their friends ,other young men looking sickly. It was before AZT was available, French government was refusing to approve it. The profound sorrow , powerlessness and anger mix I felt then ,I still carry . Later on when I was a young teen , my older sister ( Lesbian) and I joined Act up in 1989 and started to demonstrate. My family decided to say my uncle died of cancer to avoid stigmatization . I always told the truth. No shame . I love him dearly, every day. Will stand up again . His name was Osmin.

Joyeux anniversaire ! 


Wazzzup

I suggest you go for a visit , more than two weeks if you can, to get a feel , a small reality check before making drastic changes. Also relocating will not erase certain personal struggles or silence your inner voice in my experience. Maybe do a list of pros and cons. Dealing with big personal changes is hard . I also lost my father while living abroad and it took me time to deal with it. Grief works in mysterious ways. I’m sorry for your loss. It gets hard when you don’t have family in the country you reside. It is a weird feeling, I know. But I feel you are answering a lot of your questions in this post if you read it back.

I know. Some people are just mean when language varies dramatically based on many factors.

Language skills vary. Different people learn at different pace.

Yep France is way behind.I can bake and cook vegan pretty well and make my own substitutes but some brands and plant based meat products I buy

Sunny days and warmer temperatures without humidity,access to vegetarian and vegan products ,weekly farmers' markets,good water ,Calm ,safe for a woman/low crime ,engaging people without political ,religious talk right of the bat ,diversity ,affordability,access to nature . I moved from France to the US,first East Coast now California since 2007 : I lived in southern Cali now northern Cali.The weather is so so nice ,I have a great life here so If I have to move back to Europe It will be Spain or Portugal or Aix En Provence .

I speak fluent English From France,Living in The U.S for 22 years ,spoke French,English , Great Spanish , poor Italian and portuguese when I arrived A little bit of Dutch ,German . I studied latin as well. Took me 1.5 years to be totally fluent in English .My Spanish got worse but I live in California with a lot of Spanish speakers so I practice. I think French is pretty hard to learn looking back .My husband thinks so .