Mr_Miyagis_Chamois

Teenage lad gets a job in a funeral home. Boss shows him the ropes for a few days, then one day says to the kid, "We just got a new body in, it's downstairs in the cooler. Can you go down and start prepping it please." The teenager heads down, but comes up about 15 minutes later in a slight panic. "That body down there, the girl has a prawn between her legs, did she drown?" "No, she died from cancer" He goes back down with the lad and has a look anyway. Boss has a quick look and says, "That's not a prawn you idiot, that's her clitoris!" "Oh, it tasted fishy to me"

One thing us Brits do the best (and Australians) is dark humour. What's your best/worst dark joke.?

Posted by s3mtek@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 528 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

A little 5 year old girl is in the bath with her dad one day. Curious little creature that five year olds are, she asks, "Daddy, what's that thing there?" Dad replies, "oh that's what you call a penis. All men & boys have one" "Will I get one of those?" "Yep, in about half an hour when your mum goes out"

One thing us Brits do the best (and Australians) is dark humour. What's your best/worst dark joke.?

Posted by s3mtek@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 528 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

A man comes home from work one day and sees a few suitcases in the hallway. He shouts into his girlfriend, " What's with the suitcases?". The girlfriend replies, " I'm leaving you, because I've heard rumors around town that you are a paedophile" "Ohhh, 'paedophile', that's a big word for a 9 year old"

One thing us Brits do the best (and Australians) is dark humour. What's your best/worst dark joke.?

Posted by s3mtek@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 528 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

I nearly shat my drink out then 🤣

Are there toilet attendants in respectable establishments?

Posted by flaaffy_taffy@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 74 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Do need a disabled to use a wheelchair in a bog tho..

Would you prefer a unified UK football team for the world cup?

Posted by robloxfan69@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 56 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

I'm from Northern Ireland btw..

What’s your thoughts on Stephen Graham acting career?

Posted by Solid40K@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1455 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Seen him in loads of stuff, but had no idea what his name was. Jason Isaacs was like that for me too for a long time

Would you prefer a unified UK football team for the world cup?

Posted by robloxfan69@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 56 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Thank you for mansplaining that.

Would you prefer a unified UK football team for the world cup?

Posted by robloxfan69@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 56 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Northern & Southern Ireland should do the same, like in rugby

Would you prefer a unified UK football team for the world cup?

Posted by robloxfan69@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 56 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Wider range of top players? Sure, why not.

Weirdest thing you've seen a tourist do?

Posted by Significant_flour@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 39 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Well, they do look comfy

Is movie now the standard word for film in Britain?

Posted by Perfect_Technology73@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 69 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Da flicks for me

What's Your Favourite Comically Mild British Insult/Curse?

Posted by Ambivalent-Axolotl@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 407 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Yer ma's yer da

What's Your Favourite Comically Mild British Insult/Curse?

Posted by Ambivalent-Axolotl@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 407 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

May fleas infest your armpits!

How would you response?

Posted by Greedy_Two860@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 16 comments

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Mr_Miyagis_Chamois@reddit

Know that you & your daughter are better humans than these kids are and will probably ever be. Tell your daughter to hold her head high & be proud of herself. This is also a great lesson on why her getting a good education is important.