Afraid_Simple_4061

What does calling someone a cow mean in Britain?

Posted by ___o----@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 288 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I use 'soppy' as a general softener. Jammy idoes mean lucky. Of someone found a tenner on the floor, they're a jammy cunt. If they're a good mate but are having a bit of a whinge about something minor, they are being a soppy cunt.

What Spoonerisms are there in your area?

Posted by Entire-Chicken-5812@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 211 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

If we got asked if we had been drinking, we would say that we were 'jober as a sudge'. Also, when we were younger rapscallions and there were genuinely more police on the streets, if we were accosted by a friendly copper (if we were being a bit loud or boisterous) we would usually tell the constable that we 'haven't had too much to drinkstable...'

Do I ask for ticket money?

Posted by Calgib@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 929 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Nope, don't ask for ticket money. I would expect him to maybe buy a tea/coffee or something on return. Not necessarily to the same value, but a gesture of gratitude. I often go out doing photography with a couple of mates and we all take turns in driving. The driver rarely buys drinks/rolls etc when we stop for a refresher. It's just the polite and decent thing to do imo.

What do you call these where you are from?

Posted by jackyboiiii95@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 568 comments

What’s the easiest way to annoy the average Brit?

Posted by ManlykN@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1225 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Teabag, then milk and finally hot water. For added annoyance, put.just a little too much milk in. Not enough to completely ruin it, but just enough to make the tea not quite brown enough to appreciate looking at it. You will still be thanked for the tea, good manners and all that, but it will not be a sincere gratuity and the heathen wannabe tea liquid will be remembered forever and spoken about whenever you are not in earshot.

What would be the most inappropriate place to put the Eiffel Tower?

Posted by throwawayrevision02@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 84 comments

Who was the tightest person you have known,and why?

Posted by No-Snow-9605@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1837 comments

Can somebody recommend a good documentary?

Posted by FlissMarie@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 340 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Waco - American apocalypse (3 part series, was on Netflix) was good, and if you are of a certain age you will remember it happening. If you like Motorsport, the film Senna is really good .

What is your favourite oldie YouTube video?

Posted by arsenaladam92@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 114 comments

What ridiculously old school thing have your parents said or done lately?

Posted by Top-Aspect-8827@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 796 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

To be fair, wifey and me were lucky. We bought our 2 bed maisonette in the greater London suburbs )spitting distance from N.E. Kent) for 61k just over 25 years ago (when we found out missus was pregnant). It is now worth about £230k... But that also means for us to upgrade to a nicer/proper house (like my mum expects us to) we would have to find an extra £100k or mortgage for that amount. My mum sold up after dad died, and sold her 3 bed terrace a couple of miles away from us for £350k about five or six years ago and bought her current 2 bed terrace for £250k, a few miles further in to Kent. Daughter and her bf are not far off having enough for a deposit etc and hope to start looking for a place over in Essex in a year or so. Bf is in a good line of work, and his family have a bit of money and have already put some away to help him and his brother with deposit etc when the time comes.

What ridiculously old school thing have your parents said or done lately?

Posted by Top-Aspect-8827@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 796 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I actually told my mum what I was earning at my old job (after working there for over 20yrs) and it was only a couple of grand above what she gets from her state pension and a percentage of my late dad's NHS pension. I moved companies a few years ago and got a bump in pay but still very much at the low end for what I do. Currently in talks with the directors about what I expect to be paid for what I do, and how it should be what I am paid already, not more pay equals more responsibilities and duties.

What ridiculously old school thing have your parents said or done lately?

Posted by Top-Aspect-8827@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 796 comments

What ridiculously old school thing have your parents said or done lately?

Posted by Top-Aspect-8827@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 796 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I'll pass the big up on, she is sen ta, for that extra bit of stress. Without interest it worked out to £20 a month over 25 years... but bless, my dad only earned £17 per week. I think he was a hospital porter, but he may have been an ambulance driver at that point. My mum was working then too, as a pharmacy technician or something like that.

What ridiculously old school thing have your parents said or done lately?

Posted by Top-Aspect-8827@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 796 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

My mum can't understand why my daughter (25) hasn't bought a house yet and is still living with us. My daughter is a teaching assistant. My mum (75) then proceeded to tell me that their first house cost £6k (small 2 bed terrace, S.E. London) but my dad only earned £17 per week and they managed.

Are people on quiz shows told what they can and can’t say?

Posted by PageStillNotFound@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 158 comments

Are people on quiz shows told what they can and can’t say?

Posted by PageStillNotFound@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 158 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

There was a couple on pointless the other night (it was a repeat) and they said that their car was in the garage having the clutch and something else done, so it would pay for that and anything left over would go towards a few days away somewhere nice.

Are people on quiz shows told what they can and can’t say?

Posted by PageStillNotFound@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 158 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

There was a couple on pointless the other night (it was a repeat) and they said that their car was in the garage having the clutch and something else done, so it would pay for that and anything left over would go towards a few days away somewhere nice.

What are your local urban legends?

Posted by Acceptable-Pass8765@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 85 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

The beast of Bexley... Not some perv hanging around the local parks, but a large panther-like cat that lives a fairly quiet and unobtrusive life in our heaths and green areas.

What’s a piece of British comedy hall of fame you just don’t get?

Posted by franki-pinks@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 2253 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

This Country... I just don't get it. It's just about watchable for me but not funny in the slightest so for me it's like watching a low budget docu series that would have been on at three am on channel five back in the nineties.

What’s a piece of British comedy hall of fame you just don’t get?

Posted by franki-pinks@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 2253 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Strangely opposite situation for me with a different comedian. My dad wanted to go and see Joe Pasquale at our local theatre but had no one to go with (my mum 'doesnt like comedy' her words) so I got us a couple of tickets and treated him. I wasn't expecting much... But it was the funniest night ever. Real end of the pier stuff but aimed at the old dears down the front, not blue humour and racist gags. Loads of slapstick, magic tricks going wrong, teasing the crowd. Absolutely loved it and spent most of the show laughing.

Have you ever had a famous neighbour or someone local?

Posted by mr_hardwell@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1133 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Benny Hills aunt lived a few doors up from my house when I was a kid. She was old and couldn't get out much so he used to do her shopping and I saw him occasionally sitting on our or our neighbours wall having a quick ciggie before going to his aunt's house. I also used to work for Billy Idols dad, but I never met Billy Idol. He was/is a rock star, not a tool shop guy.

Middle aged+ men of askUK : what presents do you actually want?

Posted by NobleRotter@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 740 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Well my hobby is photography which can be expensive and hard for non photographers to know what to get, so I usually just ask for Camera shop vouchers (all from the same outlet) and then I can buy a nice lens or something that is outside of my usual budget.

I just told my neighbour to get a life, am I in the wrong and how can I deal with a difficult neighbour?

Posted by Comebackera@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 664 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Hed probably be pissed off if you didn't have deliveries as then he would have no one to go and argue with. On a serious note, he could just be lonely and has got used to the only communication with the street being argumentative because it is hard for people to just try and make friends.

Men of the UK - how often do you cook?

Posted by Vampire1111111@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 569 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

My wife (47), daughter (25) and myself (50) work different times so we all look after ourselves. My daughter works in a local school so is the last out the house and the first back (when missus isn't wfh). Missus, on office days, is next for leaving and getting home as she commutes to/from London. I only work down the road but do the longest hours so am first out the door and last back home. Weekends are different. Daughter spends Fri night to Mon morning at her boyfriends place. Friday night missus waits for me to get home and we get a takeaway. Saturday is our weekly shop day so we will usually get ingredients for something nice for dinner, and depending what it is depends on who cooks it. Sometimes we still get different things to each other and sort ourselves out at different times. It depends because I go out with mates (photography hobby) and missus would much rather spend the weekend relaxing in front of the TV. Sundays tend to be a free for all, unless daughter is home. If we are all home missus will often do a roast. Our rule though, to keep things fair and stress free... If one person is doing the cooking for both of us (or all three) the one(s) that didn't cook sort out the tidying up and does the washing up etc.

What completely innocent, but mildly infuriating thing does your better half regularly do?

Posted by PaddedValls@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1414 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

This is more my thing when doing the weekly shop. My missus can't understand that when I do it on my own, I only need three bags but when she is with me it is five or six bags.

What completely innocent, but mildly infuriating thing does your better half regularly do?

Posted by PaddedValls@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1414 comments

What would you call receiving goods with the promise of payment at a later date? Is "on tick" regional?

Posted by Western_Froyo6627@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 51 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

South East London (suburbs) here. I say 'on tick' for structured repayments and sometimes I say that I'm 'paying it off on the never never' but that's more credit card type stuff. I have heard 'on the slate' fairly often on TV shows and films etc... but not something I hear often in my own conversations.

Which singer songwriters or bands have consistently released great albums?

Posted by LordOfTheIron@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 66 comments

What on earth are we all doing with all the leaves?

Posted by deusxm@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 50 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I sweep all the leaves from my patio onto the lawn and let nature sort them out. There will be nothing there in a couple of months and the lawn will have had some good natural 'food'... I'm not a gardener or anything like that, but if it works in the local woods, then it will work for me too.

What things are totally legally but almost universally morally wrong?

Posted by hevvybear@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1304 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I give people the benefit of doubt at night time. I would rather assume that they have thanked me and be wrong, than be blinded by full beam... Especially the new style super bright led supernova type headlights.

Do most people in the UK know that Grand Theft Auto is actually a British game series? Also, where would you rank GTA in terms of the UK's greatest pop culture exports?

Posted by reerock@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 445 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I'm old enough to remember the first GTA, and GTA London... And even thinking that they were great games. To be fair, they were great games for the time, but would look like total shite against GTA There was also a game way before GTA called (I Think) Turn Esprit. It was a very basic open world type game where you drove a car around some city streets and had to chase down and shoot 'bad guy cars'. Jeepers. I just googled it and I thought it was from my junior school days. I remember playing it with my mate Jason. It was actually on the ZX Spectrum. There is a game clip on YouTube... https://youtu.be/2CIEHfVIEMM?si=10bSK8sJoupkQhrf

what’s the filthiest joke you’ve ever heard?

Posted by apocalypsem3ow@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 523 comments

What are the best UK films that people don't know?

Posted by toyrager@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1529 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

One of the greatest ever 'short films'... It was old when I watched it with my dad, and I'm 50 now... The Plank Also, a bit more modern... 'Cockneys Vs Zombies' and I will always recommend 'Love Honour And Obey' and 'The Long Good Friday'.

What was your drinking in the park drink as a teen?

Posted by TicTac_in_my_ear@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 268 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Red thunderbirds was the 'go to' get pissed quick drink. I never liked it much. The cool kids drank newky brown (Newcastle brown ale) or American/South American beers (usually Sol). I've always preferred cider so would go for a nice big cheap bottle of Strongbow. The girls would usually go for Lambrini or 'K' cider.

What do you actually think of the concept of 15-minute cities?

Posted by ICantBelieveItsNotEC@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1378 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I'm 50 now... But when I was a kid, and the cost of living was more relative to a family having a single main 'breadwinner' without being on the poverty line. We lived a five minute walk from our primary/junior school. The nearest decent playground/park was just under ten minutes walk. We were a ten to fifteen minute walk from the town centre. Main bus route that took us to a few big towns was only a two minute walk away, but our local town centre was a public transport hub so our reachable network was vast. It was common until big suoermarkets took over from independent high street shops. Then shopping centres took over the actual high street, then out of town super sized shopping centres took over from local ones. We are where we are because of 'progress' that doesn't necessarily mean improvement... And those that don't know any different are just as dubious of change as we were when the big shops got bigger and further away, and the shopping centres got bigger and further away.

What was the delivery services in the 1980's-1990s like back then?

Posted by BenD2105@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 106 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I used to deliver pizzas in my car. People would phone the pizza shop, place an order and when it came out the oven I would deliver it and take the payment. Those days were great for tips. If the footie was on and I spent a few too many seconds working out the change and digging it out they would just 'keep the change mate' me and shut the door. On most Friday and Saturday nights my tips outweighed my hourly rate and delivery pay (basic per hour +50p per pizza delivered. Could easily do 30 to 40 on an eve shift. I got paid the delivery on the night and tips were all cash so just straight in my pocket too.

What's a silly UK thing you believed when you were a kid?

Posted by Basis_Safe@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 555 comments

As it’s Friday the 13th, have you had anything unlucky happen to you today?

Posted by Greengrass7772@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 166 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Nothing major. Had a breakdown call so have to go on a site visit in London on Monday morning to fix something. I'm cycling in to work at the moment, so I won't be able to get my site bag home, full of tools and spare wheels, and it's not my Saturday to work this week. Luckily though, I am off to a mates in the morning and can drive via work and pick the bag up then. It does mean Monday will be an earlier start, but maybe have an early finish too, if not too much work on when I get back to my depot.

Is a consensual fight legal?

Posted by no_wiz_hat_ho3@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 172 comments

Is a consensual fight legal?

Posted by no_wiz_hat_ho3@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 172 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I'm 50 this year. I had a few beefs when I was younger but fighting just ends in getting hurt, even if you win... unless they are not expecting it to happen. Winning a fight doesn't prove you're right, it just shows you had the better fight on that day.

Is a consensual fight legal?

Posted by no_wiz_hat_ho3@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 172 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

To hold a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Far better to come to terms with whatever the beef is. Kill them with kindness. There is a rep at my old firm, and he does business occasionally at my new firm. We didn't hate each other, but had a few disagreements and didn't quite agree on how certain things should be done. When I left, I heard from friends still working there that he was really bad mouthing me. Every time he comes to my current job I'm friendly to him, ask how things are going, is the family good etc etc. I can see that he wants to dig up old beefs, but he can't all the time I'm nice... and that gives me far more satisfaction (and a smug superior feeling) than lamping him one.

Have you ever found anything worth watching on those weird high numbered channels on your TV?

Posted by ShankSpencer@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 98 comments

Why doesn't everyone have the right to enjoy nature?

Posted by peteZ238@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 308 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

So true. My daughter was born 2001, and she gets frustrated with how long it takes sims to load up a saved game. When I had my spectrum 48, we thought it was advanced because you could have more than one colour on a (whatever size it was) block... And we had to wait about five mins for it to load from a cassette, and that wasn't even guaranteed. However, I do like to be able to remind her that I have been gaming for at least forty years. And when it comes to gaming... How cool were arcades back in the day. I love on the outskirts of London, so in my early teens my mates and me would go up to Trocadero and just spunk all our money on the coolest games. They even had a VR thing up there (although it was pretty shit by today's standards).

Why doesn't everyone have the right to enjoy nature?

Posted by peteZ238@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 308 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I was born in the mid '70s and am of the generation that grew alongside the progress of consumer electronics. As a little kid, in the suburbs, we enjoyed local parks, and were able to go to them with minimal supervision. The equipment was well enough maintained but wouldn't pass modern safety regs. We had no mobile phones so there was no widespread fear mongering going on every time an unknown van was parked nearby. We knew about stranger danger and looked after ourselves and each other when out. There was less traffic on the roads and it was better behaved. We did walk/cycle/skate/bus ourselves wherever we needed to go. In my teens my friends and me went to a youth club a few times a week and could play pool and snooker, football etc and sometimes someone would bring a games console in. We hung around in the local parks with mates after school, just fucking about without the need to make it perfect for social media. We also only had physical/in person bullying as we weren't online then. We had a little makeshift BMX track near where I lived so would hang out there too. Basically, without being online we had to go out and socialize properly. We couldn't just skull off to our bedroom and have an active friends group. The Internet is one of the best and worst things that humans have created. It made connected the world and took away the requirement to actually interact in a physical way with our friends.

What’s your first reaction to winning big money?

Posted by IrishAengus@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 428 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Shock, disbelief... Recheck several times before letting wifey check again for me... Probably cry a bit (missus and me have never been in particularly high paying professions). Stay up most of the night deciding where we would like to buy a decent house (not mansion or anything silly).

How would you read/say '£5.09'?

Posted by ksusha_lav@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 1620 comments

What shorts does a man in his 40's wear?

Posted by Mrmyke00@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 74 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I've been embracing the fuck it attitude for quite a while now. I am 50m and when it comes to shorts it is joggy bottom style shorts for work and loafing at home, and some less cheap looking ones for comfortable fit occasional public outings (pockets are an arse though). Mainly I still rock the loosish denim shorts, but because I am short and tubby they are a bit below the knee and I have to turn up the bottom. But you know what... being fifty means that the only people that try to 'bully' me about my clothes are my daughter (don't care, don't like what she used to wear when she was younger) and maybe some little chav might snigger... but I am well above and beyond that now. Plus they can't even pull their fucking joggy bottoms up over their arse anyway, so why would I care what they think. I do also have some chino type shorts if I feel like being a bit less don't care/casual.

Do you really care about the year in the plate number of your car?

Posted by Individual-Key-4821@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 530 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

I drive a 2007 mondeo... And the only reason I'm looking to change it is it is mainly just me in it for work. Once a week the missus will be with me when we do the weekly shop and other than that if I'm heading out somewhere with a camera and a friend well car share, but take it in turns with who's car we're in. It's way to big (and thirsty because it's the 'fast' version) for that sort of use so will be getting a smaller car, but budget dictates that it won't be very new.

Do you or have you owned an item with an offensive slogan?

Posted by Jazzlike-Basil1355@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 623 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

Back in the day, when I was in my early to mid teens, it was fashionable to wear offensive t. Shirts. You could only really get them at a couple of street markets so getting something previously unseen came with some kudos. This was back in the early 90s.

How do you respond to elderly people who say it was harder to purchase a house in the 60s than it is now?

Posted by DryJackfruit6610@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 414 comments

Afraid_Simple_4061@reddit

They just don't get it. I think life in general was a bit tougher Due to less technology etc. My parents always talked about outside toilets and having to share a phone line with two or three other houses (when they got a phone). Only having one car and black and white teles. Due to some inheritances when we were still in primary school, my parents were mortgage free back in the '80s. Before that though, my dad was an ambulance driver (before they were driver/paramedics combined) and my mum (mid 70) done part time suoermarket work until we were at secondary school, and then she got a job as a lab tech in a school. My dad was pensioned off as he got injured at work, but got a monthly disability payment as well as his pension from the ambulance service. When they became mortgage free, they were on their fourth house, which was a decent sized three bed terrace on the fringes of town, great transport links, schools nearby, big front and rear garden, nice quiet cul de sac. This was fairly normal though, so mum assumes that is still the case. I know the value of money has changed a lot, but when they bought it they paid 13k for it. I can't remember what dads wage was back then (he did tell me when we were talking about things like this) and when mum moved/downsized after Dad died, it sold for 350k. She bought a med sized 2 bed place a bit further out for 250k, so quids in all the way. I also had to explain to her the other day, that although I have been working the same trade since I left school, and I have only been out of work for about six months in the past 35 years, my wages aren't great (not a high paid job) and I haven't had a guaranteed annual pay rise for about 20 years. In fact, over the last 20 years I have probably only had four pay rises, plus moving jobs once that increased my wage.