falseinsight

For me it's the absolutely ENORMOUS vehicles. Although coming from the UK I do appreciate the correspondingly wide parking spaces.

It's not just maternity leave, either. Childcare in the UK is now (partially) subsidized, and as a parent you (or your spouse) have a legally protected right to request flexible working, and your employer is legally obligated to accommodate it in many cases. Being able to work part-time while my kids were small was, for me, a bigger deal than my maternity leave itself. OP, I'm an American who has lived in the UK for 20 years now, and I would choose the UK. The economy is not great here but if you're on professional London wages you'll probably be okay. Healthcare alone keeps me from even considering going back to the US - it's not just the cost but the flexibility and choice it creates; I left the corporate world for independent consulting and I don't know how I would have been able to do that if I were paying for my own healthcare coverage.

Also the RAF Museum is _Incredible_. Enormous hangars full of old planes. If you have kids and they like military stuff, this is a GREAT day out and every time I went it was practically empty. The Battle of Britain Bunker in Uxbridge is surprisingly good, too.

Just wanted to say I'm also a US to UK transplant who came here as a 'trailing spouse' and I HATED it for the first few years. It was really hard. I was in a similar position to you, couldn't drive, no job, felt completely dependent on my husband, everything was unfamiliar, depressed, relationship strained, hated the weather, the whole lot. Now I've been here almost 20 years (as of next summer) and I feel genuinely at home here, to the point that I'm not sure I'd return to the US if given the opportunity. It took a while, though. I know it doesn't help to say "Maybe you will feel better in three years!" but maybe it will at least help a little to know others have felt the same and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. What helped me: - Finding a job: I made friends at work, learned some of the rhythms of British life and social interaction, and felt less dependent on my husband. That's great that you have a job - I hope it will really help you to feel a bit more 'integrated' and less isolated. - Making friends: this is hard because the social rules are different in the UK. Try to find some kind of group that will allow you to meet others around your same age/lifestage. I had just had a baby when we moved and I joined an NCT group for new mums, which was huge - that's where I met my first friends. Check things like Meetup, look for flyers in the supermarket (they usually have a notice board in the front) or the library, take a class, go to the pub quiz at your local. This is the hardest one but the most important. - Get your license: I waited 7 years to do this and I wish I had done it sooner (I'm in an area with good public transport so I managed to put it off forever). There's something about not being able to drive that makes you feel like you're in a foreign place. Driving also opens up all sorts of options in terms of work and socialising. It is DIFFICULT but so worth doing. - Explore the great things the UK has to offer: if you're into history, get an English Heritage or National Trust membership and start visiting sites. If you hike, find walking paths in your area. If you're near an interesting city, explore it. This really helped me to start appreciating the UK for its own merits and stop comparing it to the US. Bottom line is it will take time and there will be a million little things every day that remind you that you are far from home (even doing my laundry in one of these tiny washing machines depressed me for years so I totally get the thing about the tomatoes!). I promise it does get better though. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on feel free to PM me!

US to UK - pathways are completely different. High school ends at 16 and then you go to Sixth Form (if applying to university) or college for a vocational track. I managed to figure out the lower grades without to much difficulty but I felt like there was a huge learning curve post-16. When you go to uni, you apply to the programme (the subject course) rather than the university overall, so you're (with a few small exceptions) locked in to a particular course. You need to take A levels that will be accepted by the course, so you essentially decide what to major in when you're 16.

I'm a long-time American transplant to the UK and I once had the entire office trying to explain to me what a geezer is, but no one could do it without naming people I'd never heard of. "You know, like a Del Boy." In the US we also use geezer but it just means an old person, so it's extra-confusing.

Food is still SO much cheaper in the UK. I live in the UK but am from America and am in the states now on holiday, and the cost of food - both groceries and eating out - is blowing my mind. The other thing that I can't wrap my head around is the absolutely gigantic vehicles everyone drives in the US nowadays. These Ford F350s or whatever; one pulls up beside me and it feels like I'm being passed by a tank!

We moved to the UK when we were early 30s with one small child. Now it's 20 years later, two nearly grown kids, and we're still here. It's definitely easier and less complex to do it at your stage in life rather than when you and kids are older. The big issues I'd flag are that salaries tend to be a LOT lower here (like half what they are in the US) and that getting sponsored for a visa is difficult. However if one of you gets sponsored the other will be able to work and will actually have a lot more flexibility e.g. can change jobs at will without needing new sponsorship. Happy to answer any specific questions you have!

This was the case for us. For everyone saying 'just go home the same day', they need to wait I think at least 6 hours to discharge you and for us this was like 3am and not do-able with a toddler at home (unless you want to take a taxi or an Uber at 3am with a newborn?!). I just stayed on the ward overnight. It wasn't ideal but it's just one night and I had a good laugh with the other mums in the morning!

Thank you, this is all very helpful information.

Is your suggestion that if we are both going to reside in the US we would need to divorce there? We would prefer to divorce in our current country of residence as all our assets are here and would need to be divided in the event of a separation, before a move back to the US.

This is it. When you genuinely need care, it's available and often excellent. NICE sets treatment protocols for almost everything and it's all based on scientific evidence - not reassuring the patient or extracting money or whatever the US system runs on. Sure, it means that care may be rationed or that there are gatekeeping pathways, but health outcomes are overall better in the UK (although better for certain things, like cancer, in the US) at a fraction of the cost. My child just had a major surgery on the NHS - care was phenomenal and wait time was very reasonable. I was hugely impressed.

To be honest changing jobs within the UK will be a challenge for him until you have been resident long enough for a settlement visa (indefinite leave to remain) - not sure how long it takes these days but years ago when we got ours I think it took 4-5 years. Before that any employer would have to sponsor him for a visa which will not be easy, but once you have ILR he can change jobs at will within the UK (NI, Scotland, Wales, England). Sadly this is pretty much what you're limited to since Brexit. Finding a job on the Continent would still raise the same visa sponsorship issues as if you were in the US. Just to add, I wouldn't say the school system is massively more pressurising than the US system. It does focus more on conformity (uniform etc) and the exams in the later years are more demanding than in the US, but there are other aspects to it that are less intense (less focus on extracurricular activities and sports).

I'm the opposite, we are two American parents with kids who have grown up in the UK. Our experience - I didn't go back to work until my older child was 2, so he really learned to speak at home. His accent is kind of a mix of British and American but doesn't sound exactly like either; he gets a lot of "Where is your accent from" in both the US and the UK. With my younger child, she went to a (British) childminder starting at 11 months, so from the beginning there was more of a British influence on her accent. She sounds 100% British, although she is capable of doing a very passable American accent when she wants to!

It's difficult, isn't it? In many ways the US is a more favourable investing environment than many other countries (especially if you need to consider things like inheritance). We looked into this extensively and basically what we learned is that trying to invest as an American overseas is almost impossible. Even if you are willing to comply with all reporting and taxes, the reality is that the tax prep can easily run into thousands of dollars, and taxes are so high that they are likely to erase any earnings. This comes up sometimes on the expat subs and most US citizens really have no options - and when they do invest, it's usually by skirting the regulations about US residency, i.e. using a US address to maintain investments in the US. Then there are whatever regulations your country of residence/other citizenship would impose. The only other thing I could think of would be investing in property, but that brings its own headaches. The most frustrating thing about all of this is that these tax regulations are in place to keep the extremely rich from offshoring their money. Of course they have their ways to get round all of it - which means the laws are mainly enforced on ordinary people who are looking to make the kind of small investments that we are actually encouraged to make e.g. to save for retirement. It seems very unfair and poorly conceived.

It will depend to some extent where you go. Here in the UK, my only investment options are my pension and my house (if you can really consider that an investment). US brokers will not work with me because I am not resident in the US; UK brokers will not generally work with me because I am a US citizen. This is because of the PFIC regime which has onerous reporting requirements and a very high tax rate on earnings - so it's both difficult and unfavorable. There are brokerages that will work with US citizens but these tend to have high investment thresholds (e.g. Charles Schwab requires £25k minimum) and you can only hold individual stocks. Another consideration is that as a US citizen you are subject to US taxation and reporting. Other countries may tax your US investments as income rather than capital gains, which can lead to a hefty tax bill (this is what the UK does for any foreign investments). Look up PFIC - it's complicated and a lot to get your head round. Basically any investments in funds/ETFs in another country are taxed at extremely high rates and have extremely complex reporting requirements. [Here's an article](https://web.archive.org/web/20230401051301/https://creativeplanning.com/international/insights/americans-should-avoid-non-us-mutual-funds/) that gives more detail.

I looked into Taxesforexpats and they seemed good, but I usually just do our taxes myself. If you just have a normal UK salaried income it's pretty straightforward if you are under the $120k tax-free threshold. There are a few forms (1040, 1040 Additional Adjustments to Income, 2555) but it isn't too complicated. Don't forget you also need to annually fill in the FBAR to declare all of your foreign bank accounts.

If a drug isn't NICE-d, you may still be able to get it. If the drug is approved in the UK, you may be able to get it privately, or via a specialist NHS clinic who may have more leeway to bypass NICE guidelines. OP a nice thing in the UK is that you can buy a prescription pre-payment certificate where you pay £115 for the year and all your prescriptions are covered under that cost.

I think all you can do is to look into it and see what is feasible. E.g. what would be the salary you'd be living on (after tax), where could you afford to live/would you like to live, what are schools like there, would you need a car, what would commutes be like, etc. You can research these things online - Google UK tax calculator (your tax rates will be significantly higher than in the US), use Rightmove to see what properties you might be able to afford, use Google maps or TFL to check commute times, local authority websites for schools (also Mumsnet for more granular school info), etc. I do love the UK but there's a steep learning curve to living here. With a large family it will be a challenge, but if you are determined it's definitely possible to figure it out!

American international schools are almost entirely students whose tuition is paid by a parent's employer - if your employer isn't offering as part of a relocation package you almost certainly won't be able to afford it as they are eye-wateringly expensive. Unfortunately anywhere in the London area with decent schools will be over-subscribed (i.e. more parents trying to get their kids in than there are places available). You may end up - with multiple kids of different ages - only getting places at different schools. In subsequent years, siblings will get priority when applying for school places, but when you are newly moved to an area, you will generally have to take what you're offered.

Teissierre (French brand) do an absolutely delicious strawberry cordial - they have 20 or 30 flavours. You would have to special order them (I get mine from a website called French Click - I usually do one order a year and get about 6 bottles of cordial). Also highly recommend the mojito (lime and mint)!

My son did this recently. He first got a bank account, using his university address. Then he got a driver's license with bank statements as proof of address. Registering to vote was I think a tick box on the driver's license application. The more difficult issue if she wants to drive is that some states require new drivers to have insurance before they can get a license and this can be extremely expensive if they are a sole driver (not on someone else's policy). Just fyi after only one semester he's now back in the country where he grew up - I think he discovered that actually living in the the US was different to what he experienced visiting our families there. He was really blindsided by the culture shock and was miserably unhappy. Not saying this would happen to anyone else but to be honest it wasn't something he or we really thought would be much of an issue, since he's spent plenty of time in the states over the years.

I would check the subreddits for the cities you're considering. I'm in London and salaries are often as low as half of US equivalents here. However this is still livable, although you might not be able to save as much as you could in the US. Also be aware that it will be more complex to invest any 'surplus' as an overseas resident - you can overpay into your pension, but technically you are not able to invest in EFTs e.g. index funds in many countries.

And then if you _have_ kids, they will be a part of your adopted country in a way you probably never will be. And they will _not_ be a part of your home culture in the same way. I feel like this is where the real long-term implications lie. We always had an abstract idea we might return to the US after retirement, but now our adult child wants to stay in the country where he's grown up. Having lived overseas from my own family I'm not sure that's something I'm willing to go through again.

My last company had dual head offices in the US and UK. I had team members in the exact same role/level as me in our US office, doing the same work on the same projects, and they made more than twice what I did. The company explained it as 'salaries are pegged to the local market". So frustrating.

This is so important. The US has a lot of regulations that apply to citizens living overseas and I'm always astonished at how many Americans I meet who don't know that they have to file taxes, declare foreign accounts annually, etc. Plus you are really limited in your ability to make investments.

My uncle is in his 70s and is genuinely the most frugal person I've ever met (he grows his own tobacco). He lives in Mexico for half the year and then house-sits in the US for the other 6 months. As an American you can stay in Mexico for 6 months on a tourist visa. When he comes back to the US, worst case if he can't find any house sitting, he shows up at my Mom's. He can literally fit all of his possessions into one suitcase and a cardboard box. I mean, it's definitely a very specific lifestyle. But he's living on about £10-12K a year, so I wanted to provide a different perspective to others in this thread. It is possible to do it really cheaply.

As an American transplant to the UK: I have come to the conclusion that the British film Americans have never heard of and need to be recommended is Withnail and I, and the American film Brits have never heard of and need to be recommended is Office Space.

I looked into this in detail, although I'm in the UK. Basically the only option for me, in terms of investing, is 1) my pension (various options for over-contributing), and be 2) investing in individual stocks. I can't buy any EFTs e.g. index funds here in the UK, because brokerages e.g. Vanguard UK will not work with US citizens. Vanguard USA will not work with me because I am not resident in the US. A lot of people skirt this by using a US address while living abroad but this is actually not allowed - you need to be physically resident. It's up to each individual if they want to risk it. For option 2, there are brokerages who will allow you to invest in individual stocks, but they generally have a minimum of £20-25K. We also looked into overpaying our mortgage since property is still appreciating pretty robustly here. But yeah. There is a lot of red tape and many limitations. If I recall correctly, Trump did say during his first term that he would repeal FATCA but I'm not holding my breath. I think it's equally possible he could go more aggressively after those of us living overseas. I'll try to refrain from getting on my soapbox about FATCA and the fact that all it does is cause problems for law-abiding middle-income people, while failing to hold to account the offshoring millionaires it was designed to target.

And really, REALLY research the financial implications of living abroad. For example your opportunities to invest (outside of a pension) are EXTREMELY limited, you need to report all the holdings of all foreign accounts and file US taxes every year (even though you will most likely also be taxed as a resident of the country where you live), etc. you may also - even if you pay taxes - be ineligible for some welfare benefits unless you're a citizen. It is a lot of red tape to navigate.

Okay but I live in an outer London borough where no tourist would ever come, and there's a jellied eel pie and mash shop that's not even on the high street, it's off in the middle of nowhere. _Someone_ is keeping it in business. I keep saying that one day I'm going to try it but that day hasn't come yet....

I also missed half and half until I realised you can make it by mixing equal parts double cream and milk, so now I make my own. Weirdly Sainsbury's used to sell it but stopped about ten years ago.

You can buy the Kraft Mac and cheese online (I've bought it on eBay), and also at Costco if you have one near you!

One I've noticed as an American living in the UK is "don't have ____" (American) versus "haven't got ____" (British).

Yeah, I'm from the American South too and was gonna say none of it. My American recommendation is 5 Guys, sorry.

The standards are SO different. My British NHS dentist is always saying things like "Mmmm, this tooth is cracked, we may just have to extract it" and I'm like, what NO.

This is definitely something not enough people seem to be aware of. It's a huge issue if you are genuinely moving permanently.

This doesn't apply only to Europe, but - make sure you REALLY understand the tax and financial reporting implications of moving abroad. If you're coming from the US, for example, you are _extremely_ limited in any investment options, outside of your pension. You must report your earnings to the IRS and all your foreign accounts yearly, even if your income is low. Etc. Also in some cases the 'welfare state' benefits of European countries will not be available to you unless you become a citizen or permanent resident. So you may pay high taxes and still not have full access to benefits e.g. if you lose your job or become disabled.

My dad (American) is a highly skilled builder and he is just unable to get over the low quality workmanship in the UK - I don't know how many times I've heard him grumble about it when visiting. I know there are beautiful homes in this country but there doesn't seem to be any level of quality at all in the 'normal person' price range. So much fake wood and uPVC everything, nothing level or square, trims basic or nonexistent, etc etc.

I've been in the UK for 16 years and as others have said, my day-to-day life hasn't changed much in the past few years, in spite of recent political and economic instability. However the one thing that has changed massively is access to healthcare - 15 years ago I could almost always get a next-day face-to-face appointment with the GP, and now I'm lucky to get a phone appointment in two or three weeks. My daughter was recently in hospital and the staff were frantically trying to discharge people and find beds in other hospitals as they couldn't accommodate everyone in A&E. I still think the NHS provides great quality care but wait times are just getting longer and longer. Not sure where this ends because I don't see how it can get any worse without some sort of public health catastrophe.

You would need to check one, whether the medication is available here, and two, whether it's available on the NHS. There are some meds that are approved for use but are not considered cost-efficient enough for the NHS (mostly newer ones). This means you could access them, but it can be a double expense because you would need to pay to be seen by a private neurologist, then pay the cost of the medication. There is excellent care here for headache sufferers (I am seen at an amazing NHS clinic), but it can take years to work your way through to the right specialists. You also often have to work your way through a set protocol of treatment (try x med, fail, then y med, fail, then z med, etc.). I would say the more documentation you can get - any meds you have previously tried, all info about previous treatment and diagnosis - the better. However depending on your work, you might get private healthcare through your employer, in which case it would be a question of what they would cover (although often private healthcare excludes preexisting conditions). If you check the migraine sub, someone can probably help with advice on your specific medication.

I'll have a look - I'm not familiar with Wise but that sounds worrying. We usually use XE.com but that's going between US and UK accounts - I'm not sure how it might work with a direct transfer. We've never had any trouble with XE and we've transferred large sums of money (house deposit etc) although there are caps on how much you can transfer at once. Maybe one to look into?

If you hold a bank account outside of the US, you would be subject to FATCA (Foreign Accounts Tax Compliance Act) reporting, which requires US citizens with foreign bank accounts to annually report the holdings of those accounts. It's such a hassle that some UK banks won't even work with US citizens who are resident in the UK (the bank also has to comply with reporting requirements) - I imagine you might struggle a lot to find a UK bank that would work with you in this situation. Penalties for incorrect FATCA reporting are significant - I think they can fine you something like 5x the maximum amount held in the account at any point during the year. Unfortunately the UK economy is crap and I wouldn't hold my breath that the exchange rate is going to improve, either, at least not for a very long time.

This isn't necessarily true. My son went to state schools (secondary and sixth form) and just got admitted early decision to his top choice school in the US. It did take a bit of effort on his part (taking the SAT, mostly) but we didn't find it particularly difficult. Most American universities are used to overseas students coming from different educational systems. He just submitted his GCSEs and mock A Level grades in place of GPA/high school transcripts but most everything else was straightforward.

What year of high school are they in? The school system is very different in the UK. High school (secondary school) goes until age 16, year 11 - at the end of this, students take exams called GCSEs (usually in 6-10 different subjects). After this, if they're planning to go to university, they do two years of A-levels. These are focused on just 3 subjects and one of those will be the subject they will study at university (the other two should be related). A-level grades are the basis for university admission. As you can see, grading is exam based rather than ongoing, as it is in the US. It might be a challenge if a student were to come in during, say, the last year before GCSEs or A levels - they might be okay, but they might not have enough time to prepare for the exams (many will be focused on specific modules, e.g. specific Shakespeare plays or historical time periods or whatever). I can answer questions as my kids have been through the system, but not transferred in (we've been here a long time). My son just applied (and got in) to a US university, so I can answer questions about that, too!

A long feckin' time, like 7 years. I never would have stuck it out if it hadn't been a necessity. The thing is, I love my adopted country now, warts and all. I genuinely can't imagine not living here.

I've been here for 17 years and I still struggle with "toilet" - to an American, this feels far too literal as would only ever refer to the toilet itself, the actual commode that you sit on, and I just can't bring myself to say it. "Loo" feels too British in my American accent, and I don't think anyone actually says WC anymore. I generally stick with "ladies" but it still doesn't feel quite right.

On a related note, I'm a transplanted American and one of the things I find bizarrely touching is that no one will ever take the last anything - biscuit, chocolate, whatever. Maybe someone else didn't get one, or would enjoy it more? Also I am still charmed by all the "Oh no, I couldn't possibly, really, it's very kind but.....oh, go on then, only if you're sure it's no trouble" when you offer the tea or biscuits or whatever.

There are also enormous tax implications to living overseas. Forget complex things like buying a house, even things that should be easy (like getting a bank account, transferring money, or basic investing) can be very complex or even impossible. Filling US taxes and complying with FATCA isn't terribly hard but it is a burden and it's important to understand your obligations. I've met expats who have been living overseas for years and don't know about the basics of their tax and financial reporting obligations, and fines for not complying can be enormous. Definitely something to get your head well around before you consider a move.

Look into the financial side of a US-->UK move. You will have to file US taxes even while living overseas, and US financial reporting regulations mean it can sometimes be less than straightforward to do basic things like get a bank account, and virtually impossible to do more complex things like investing (outside of your pension). Obviously not specific to London but something to be aware of. I've lived here for nearly 18 years and I love it, though (and I don't even live in a cool or interesting part of London).