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Yes, I can explain for you. It's a deliberate style choice and comes comes from traditional headline grammar rules: 1. Lead with the strongest, most vivid element 2. Delay attribution or source until the end 3. Drop small words where possible 4. Use present tense for recent events 5. Front-load keywords for SEO (online) 6. Balance length and shape

Sorry, that should probably have been Mrs Mate.

You're not supposed to eat the ones you find down the back of the sofa, mate.

I left the UK at the beginning of the 90s and at that point in time, it was pretty rare to hear 'haitch' either in the wild or on telly or whatever. I came back nearly 2 decades later and it seemed there'd been an explosion of haitches across the land. More people nowadays seem to use it than don't. I *hate* that it grates so much and so irrationally on me, but it does. All I can say is that I've raised two children to adulthood who know how to say it the right way.

>Clotted cream is nice on scones but harder to make at home. As I discoved last year, it's actually amazingly simple to make at home. All you need is a microwave and 3 bursts of 5 minutes.

Never once had any corporal punishment from either parent but was at boarding school for most of my childhood and was definitely beaten there. Cane, long handled hairbrush, plimsoll and bare hand. Never once did it to my own kids and do not believe it's an effective method.

If she thought desert means pudding, her English was a bit more dry and dusty than you’re giving her credit for.

That menu sounds a bit sandy

Semantic satiation

I work with a colouful French fella who is known for his improbable stories, which include: - His ancestor was the person who fired the musket from Redoubtable that killed Admiral Nelson at Trafalgar and now - out of respect - no one from his family will visit Trafalgar Square. His visits to London need to take this into account. - He grew up in Monaco as a friend and playmate of Prince Albert. - His family's wealth comes from his grandfather's invention of a commerical plastic version of the bayonet base lightbulb holder. - He worked previously in French Naval Intelligence He's a lovely guy and I'm sure it's all true.

If you’ll forgive me, could I perhaps discreetly mention that discrete means individually separate and distinct, while discreet means on the down low.

Moved back to UK alone in 2007 - ahead of my wife and kids - to find us a home. Found an absolutely idyllic cottage in the countryside, rented by an academic who lived in the large main house on the property. When I arrived for the viewing, I noticed a large plastic bin bag in the living room and he said that he'd had a couple as previous tentants but they'd split up, left and never came back for some of their stuff. OK, no biggie I thought. When I moved in, the bin bag was still there, which surprised me, as I'd have thought he would have chucked it out before new tenants came in. The bag was fairly well filled and seemed to be clothes. Curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. It was full of panties. In all sorts of colours and styles. Must have been about 100 pairs in there and although they were clearly the underwear of a woman who cared about wearing nice ones, they were also the largest panties I had ever seen in my life. Whoever this woman was, she wore panties that were literally about three times the size of my wife's. Bloody Hell, I thought. Like anyone would, I had questions. Who the hell owns that many pairs of knickers? Why would you *need* that many pairs of knickers? Why would a woman who owns that much lingerie leave it in a bin bag when she moves out of a home? Anyway, whoever you were, large knicker leaving lady, sorry, I chucked out all your thongs and tangas.

Yep, this sort of thing is common. I was more worried that people would think it very strange for a little girl to have a bath with her grandfather and assume that bad things must have happened.

I have to preface this comment with this: what you're about to read may seem odd because it's not common in your culture but it was (and is) in Japan, where this took place and there's no reason for alarm. OK, that said, this happened a long time ago when my daughter was probably around 3. We were staying at her grandparents' house and one evening, when it was time to have a bath, she went off with her grandpa. Afterwards, as I was towelling her dry, in front of both her grandparents she suddenly asked, "Papa, why is your chinchin much bigger than grandpa's?" Awkward silence ensues...

Roger Melly between the two, an arm draped over each shoulder, fingers grazing a massive boob on each side

John Martyn. He deserves to be much more widely known.

I can’t speak to Korean customs but I assure you that if Japanese people invite you to their home for a meal, they absolutely would not ask guests for payment. I don’t know why you think it’s ‘pretty standard practice’, because it’s definitely not. Source: nearly 20 years of living in Japan and a Japanese wife who looked horrified when I read her your comment.

The small company I work for (fewer than 30 employees) has had the best year ever this year. My Christmas bonus was equivalent to approx 1.5 x my normal monthly salary, so pretty generous.

A novel's title can have nothing whatsoever to do with the story it tells. A Clockwork Orange, for example, has nothing to do with oranges; clockwork or otherwise. The Grapes of Wrath is not a novel about angry fruit and To Kill A Mockingbird at no point features the death of the titular avian. The novel in question is set almost entirely in Cornwall and imagines a mid 70s future in which the UK has left the EEC. I hope this clears up any lingering confusion you may have on the issue.

While living in Japan, I once met a Japanese guy in his late 20s, who asked me, in all seriousness, what language we speak in England and was very surprised to learn that it is in fact English.

A third of my life living in Japan and a Japanese wife for whom even the thought of wearing shoes inside the house is anathema means that I’m now equally uncomfortable with the idea. You’re welcome to make a dirty mess in your own home but in ours, it’s shoes off on entry 😊

> floors are for walking on! You know you're still walking on them after you've taken off your dirty outdoor shoes, right?

Interesting. You must write to Porsche and tell them that they must update their pronunciation guide since it (very) clearly explains that there are two syllables in the pronunciation and are even so kind as to provide a helpful video showing the correct pronunciation. Silly Porsche, eh, not even knowing how to pronounce their own name properly! https://www.porsche.com/stories/culture/how-to-pronounce-porsche

Isn’t that the correct pronunciation for Porsche? I mean, it’s how it’s pronounced in Germany, right?

How about calling the police and telling them that you spotted someone jumping over his fence/acting suspiciously and the burglar alarm seems to be ringing. Or perhaps try saying that your elderly neighbour isn't responding to knocks and you're desperately worried if he's ok. With any luck they might send someone round and break down the door if there's no answer. Your asshole neighbour can worry about that when he's back and you won't care.