Buy murder weapons, rope, shovel, lime, etc now, just in case you need to murder someone in the future

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Scrangdorber@reddit (OP)

The stuff that supposedly breaks down dead bodies. Idk if it's true.

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vdday@reddit

The word you are looking for is lye, not lime.

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Scrangdorber@reddit (OP)

No. I was thinking of lime: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lime_(material)

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OverallManagement824@reddit

Lye lye lye lye lye lye. Lye la lye. Lye lye la lye la la la la lye la la la la lye.... In the corner stands a boxer

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sporkynapkin@reddit

Lime won’t work the victims will be saved by the buoyancy of citrus

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Previous_Life7611@reddit

OP meant the material, not the fruit.

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melting2221@reddit

Oh I see, how does that help with murder though?

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lime stops animals digging up the body. police sniffer dogs are deterred but not 100%. correct procedure is to dig deep, then lime, then some earth, THEN put a dead dog, then fill. that way if the police dig, they think the sniffer dog was just detecting the dead animal.

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Alternative-Neck-705@reddit

In theory.

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nutseed@reddit

oh absolutely. i pride myself on being one of australias most prolific theoreticists.

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ryohazuki224@reddit

But what if you put the lime in the coconut?

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Alternative-Neck-705@reddit

Then you shake it all up!

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theguineapigssong@reddit

You also leave a DVD labelled "confession" with a single MP3 file. When the police play that, they get Rick-Rolled with Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes.

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EarthTrash@reddit

And shake it all up?

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nutseed@reddit

you leave my grandpa out of this

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Mesoscale92@reddit

It doesn’t speed up decomposition. It kills bacteria act actually slows down decomposition. I’ve heard of cases where the killer used lime and police said it helped their investigation because it made identification easier.

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Dangerous-Bit-8308@reddit

SHHH don't give good advice to potential murderers! Their last step is always to bury the architects

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nutseed@reddit

ah good to know thanks! most identifying components should be stored in the trophy room though.

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tkb-noble@reddit

They've gotten hip to this method and can use satellite imagining to see through it. Accidental pun.

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SteelWheel_8609@reddit

Oh so now I have to kill a dog too? This whole murder is turning into a real pain in the ass

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nutseed@reddit

honestly, I'd much prefer to use other animals, but people don't usually bury other animals. i suppose i could switch to cats though now that i think about it

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BillyWhizz09@reddit

Buy an alive dog now so it’s dead by the time you need it

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Sisselpud@reddit

Adopt don't shop! But otherwise there is absolutely nothing morally wrong with this.

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SpaceCancer0@reddit

If you can't kill your own store bought is fine https://youtu.be/4vuW6tQ0218

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Responsible-Jury2579@reddit

Rookie

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Charles_Hardwood_XII@reddit

You pour it over a buried body to keep smells down and animals away.

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Cynical_Tripster@reddit

I *think* Lime is extremely caustic and can aid in um... Dissolving organic matter.

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MrTheWaffleKing@reddit

I think lime cleans up blood really good?

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CarlJustCarl@reddit

That’s what a serial killer would say

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Previous_Life7611@reddit

No idea

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ContextSensitiveGeek@reddit

That's spelled Lyme. Lime is the fruit.

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Previous_Life7611@reddit

No, [it’s lime](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lime_(material)). Lyme is a disease.

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Dangerous-Bit-8308@reddit

Presumably one of the various calcium products produced by heating shells or limestone. One use is for making garden soil less acidic. Another use is dissolving organic material, and reducing organic odors. If anyone is considering a homicide and needed this clarification, I recommend you rethink a lot of your life choices. Also just FYI, I'm definitely not helping OP or anyone here with those sort of plans.

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OverallManagement824@reddit

And a little cilantro.

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Tough_Text3@reddit

Fuck it, give it some tajin too.

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amiibohunter2015@reddit

Sour face when the body is found so you look disgusted.

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AutumnalCotton@reddit

If you spread the mineral lime over a fresh corpse in the ground, it masks the smell and aids decomposition thereby allowing the corpse to go unnoticed more easily. Source: I’ve buried dogs (that died of old age!) and didn’t want animals to dig up their bodies.

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nothing_in_my_mind@reddit

Entice your victims with margaritas

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Elguapo1980z@reddit

It makes the meat taste better

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Illustrious_Ear_4405@reddit

Smart. And it's not like you'd have to buy it all at once to avoid being suspicious. Even if you do look suspicious who cares? it's not like you did anything wrong.

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Responsible-Jury2579@reddit

I am just going to walk around in shirts covered in blood holding a knife. Suspicious, officer? Maybe, but have I *done* anything wrong? 😂

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MolassesMedium7647@reddit

Depends on local laws, possibly. You'd have to see if the jurisdiction you live in has a charge for "brandishing a weapon" that isn't just for firearms.

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GoBeWithYourFamily@reddit

Well don’t carry the knife around showing the blade. You can have it in a sheath attached to your belt. With blood drips on your jeans right where it would fall out of the sheath.

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AutoModerator@reddit

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in-a-microbus@reddit

As a farmer, I have them currently

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Sure_Pear_9258@reddit

What if we already work in a profession where we have access to large volumes of high concentration sulfuric acid and high concentration hydrogen peroxide? Theres no need for any of that. Just a 50 gal barrel from work and about 20 gallons of acid and 2 gallons of peroxide that nobody would miss.

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Finnish2713@reddit

Whaddya mean, “in case”?

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Hullabellyloo@reddit

None of that is needed if your toilet can flush down chunks

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Brian_The_Bar-Brian@reddit

Way ahead of you... 🤪

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FlakyLandscape230@reddit

Just find a damn hog farm and try not to get blood on you the hogs will literally eat all the evidence

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ryohazuki224@reddit

The key is to not buy them all at once. Pay cash too.

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i_notold@reddit

At different stores in different cities. Leave your phone at home too.

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ryohazuki224@reddit

Have friends buy them for you randomly too. Make sure they do it as a part of a larger shopping list, like it's just one more item on a long list, and it looks like its just for them if anyone asks.

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i_notold@reddit

Never include a "friend" even indirectly. You never know how much of a friend a person is until it's too late. On the other side of that coin, what kind of friend would use their friends to help, unknowingly, in a murder? Besides a murderer of course.

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deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]

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AutoModerator@reddit

Your post was automatically removed because it contains political content, which is off-topic for /r/CrazyIdeas. Please review the subreddit rules and guidelines. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CrazyIdeas) if you have any questions or concerns.*

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tkb-noble@reddit

Murder is one crime that will draw lots of resources to investigate. Remember, you would be trying to fool people whose entire career has been dedicated to connecting the dots. Multiple different experts using sophisticated equipment and thoroughly tested techniques. The only way to be sure you won't get caught is if you don't do it.

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Jimmytowne@reddit

There are a lot of unsolved murders. A lot.

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tkb-noble@reddit

No doubt. However, none of them have a statue of limitation.

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Avoider5@reddit

They will be able to search your Reddit history though.

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Expensive_Watch_435@reddit

What? Maybe with a subpoena on Reddit or if they have your phone on hand, yeah. Otherwise no.

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thebipeds@reddit

Way ahead of you, I’ve got some trenches dug and a documented (but fake) hobby of hiking at night.

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thebipeds@reddit

Separately and in cash.

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i_notold@reddit

Buy your gear in the spring. Buy a shovel, some lime and a plant. Plant plant and fertilize, using lime, then duct tape shovel handle for "better grip"....... do things to explain away purchases.

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