A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.

Posted by eddible-choclate@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 85 comments

If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”
And the lady said, “Pardon?”

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FansFightBugs@reddit

A man joins a monastery and makes a vow that he can say only two words per year. The first year passes, he visits the head monk and says "hard bed". The monks says "All right brother, we will arrange something better for you". A year later he returns and says "few food". "OK, we will look into that that you'll get a bit more". After another year he comes back and says "I leave". The head monk looks at him and says " it's for the better. Since you're here, you didn't stop complaining"

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CptKammyJay@reddit

A monastery has sworn that, as a whole, they will only say one statement a year.

After a year of silence, during dinner, one of the monks says “these potatoes aren’t very good.”

After another year, a second monk says “I thought the potatoes were fine.”

Finally, after a third year of silence, a third monk shouts “I’m leaving! There’s too much arguing!”

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LisaMikky@reddit

😅😅😅

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Joshephus@reddit

This is a good silent monk joke! First time hearing this one.

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LookupPravinsYoutube@reddit

Why didn’t he say “little” food? “Few” is really only for integers of things. What if they gave him only a bag of skittles every day? What then?!? This is what I choose to have a problem with in this entire made up situation with a pretend monk and a pretend monastery! What have I become!

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lawndartgoalie@reddit

I heard it "Food Cold"

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TheQualityOfMersey@reddit

'Cold food', and the head monk promising to look into it and make it warmer if necessary, avoids the awkward grammar. That's how I was told it by my wife. It's the only joke she knows.

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merengueenlata@reddit

I love this!

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KingAdamXVII@reddit

I was confused why didn’t he say “my darling” after two years, “I love you” after three more, and “Will you marry me?” after another four.

So how about this less stupidly tragic, more whimsically silly version:

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He waited one whole year before saying “Hi.” She blushed and said shyly, “Hi.”

He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” She joyfully responded, “Oh my Prince, that means so much to me!”

Then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years to say “I love you.” She responded with tears of joy, “I love you too, darling!”

Then he wanted to marry her. After four agonizing years, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Sorry, love, what did you say?”

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kilowhom@reddit

You read the joke in the OP and the vibe you got was "stupidly tragic"? Are you sure?

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anxious_spacecadetH@reddit

"Stupid" because the smart thing would have been to do it this way. And tragic because his stupidity doomed him.

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KingAdamXVII@reddit

Not sure how you can interpret it as anything other than stupidly tragic.

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flixflexflux@reddit

Same! I think your's better

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Weird-Necessary9467@reddit

that's sad story

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barrysmitherman@reddit

Is blowjob one word or two?

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Torggil@reddit

It's two. Nob gobbling

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justwalk1234@reddit

There's a universal gesture for that.

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olsen_twentigg@reddit

What do you do when you want just one person and not the whole universe?

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justwalk1234@reddit

You have to learn to be more ambitious.

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comicwarier@reddit

Usually 100 dollars but cheaper under a bridge

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oktin@reddit

... Is that why trolls live under bridges?

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germy-germawack-8108@reddit

That's why Arakawa does.

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

Just about everything is cheaper under a bridge.

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anthropomorphicdave@reddit

Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a baloney sandwich?

No?

Wanna get lunch?

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HK-47-mkII@reddit

It's certainly a mouthful, that's for sure.

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eddible-choclate@reddit (OP)

A man went to his doctor and told him that he had not been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. “Here take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up,” he said. “Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed take the red pill with another big glass of water.”
Worried to be put on so much medicine the man said. “Oh, Doc! Now exactly what is my problem?”
The doctor replied, “You are not drinking enough water.”

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SingleStepDebugger@reddit

I guess this takes place before the writing was invented.

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Independent-Cloud822@reddit

I like the little boy who never spoke joke.

His parents and teachers all thought he was a mute. Then one morning at the breakfast table he looked up and said,

"this oatmeal is cold"

His parents rejoiced. "You can speak. You can speak." "Its a miracle"

The boy said " I could always speak."

Then the mother said "But why haven't you said anything before?"

The boy replied "well up to now, things have been pretty good."

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jacquesrabbit@reddit

It was a German boy, iirc

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thirteenthdoctorhair@reddit

sounds legit, my brother (then a german boy) did something very similar

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SivadOnellicna@reddit

Is your brother no longer a German boy?

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thirteenthdoctorhair@reddit

no, he's a german man now lol

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Eckse@reddit

He's a trans American.

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TENTAtheSane@reddit

Ex-german brother says Trans-atlantic Rights!

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Boot_Effective@reddit

Ah! Went under the knife, did he?

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Adarie-Glitterwings@reddit

I heard it the other day as it being Einstein

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roehnin@reddit

I heard it in the ‘70s as Einstein

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adamdoesmusic@reddit

To some extent, this was einstein’s story. He didn’t begin talking until quite a bit later than most kids. In reality, he probably just had other things on his mind.

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Johnny-Alucard@reddit

"Up until now everything has been satisfactory."

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RudyKnots@reddit

I too have watched every episode of QI.

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LeRoiChauve@reddit

I have to wait two years to say something to you but lucky I can DM you and everybody now with my new phone.

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rdmusic16@reddit

I love how they all tell the joke as a group.

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Johnny-Alucard@reddit

Well.. I watched it a couple of times when it started years ago. Not sure of your reference apart from that!

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CTHULHU_RDT@reddit

Ah yes.

henning Wehn, the german comedy ambassador.

Not the Wurst reference

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Johnny-Alucard@reddit

Was it his? It does sound like him!

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CTHULHU_RDT@reddit

Well the joke is really old, but the choice of words reminds of him on QI

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Johnny-Alucard@reddit

Ahh!

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Independent-Cloud822@reddit

I like that better.

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yoyogoupyoyogodown@reddit

I saw this on Benny Hill. 1977. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_So-pTUtYfM&pp=ygUWQmVubnkgaGlsbCBiYWJ5IHNwZWFrcw%3D%3D#bottom-sheet

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ElectronicAd27@reddit

Lmao😂😂😂

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anonymous2278@reddit

This actually happened with my husband when he was a toddler. My mother-in-law shared the story with me. They thought he was mute because he never spoke to anyone, not a single word. When he was three he walked into their room and simply stated, “we’re out of grapes.” She said the two of them (parents) looked at each other and started celebrating, he can talk! She asked why he’d never said anything if he could talk, and he said he just never had anything to say until he wanted more grapes.

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irredentistdecency@reddit

Has he continued that trend into adulthood?

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anonymous2278@reddit

No, he’s quite the chatterbox now. But only with people he’s SUPER comfortable with. Like me, his parents, siblings, he’ll talk your ear off. Anybody else, he will talk in short, to-the-point sentences and remain quiet most of the time unless directly addressed.

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germy-germawack-8108@reddit

So...what I'm hearing is, he didn't talk before that because he was still in the getting to know you phase with his parents.

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Acceptable_Stop2361@reddit

I heard as burnt the biscuits.

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wlovins@reddit

My favorite telling of this joke was on QI - https://youtu.be/48aUMXifAn8?si=u8kKU8nWHTPb7mHJ

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irredentistdecency@reddit

Her quip about a danish person at the end was pretty good too…

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18bluecat@reddit

That's also a joke from Ned's Declassified. There was a third bully who never spoke. Then one day they were supposed to be volunteering but the first two weren't taking it seriously and he finally spoke up and said they were supposed to be helping.
"Dude, you haven't ever said a word."
"Everything's been fine up until now." Only time he spoke in the entire show.

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chowboonwei@reddit

And then everyone clapped. The boy’s name? Albert Einstein.

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IgfMSU1983@reddit

A nun entered a convent, where the rule of silence allowed just two words per year.

She worked diligently and followed all instructions for a year, until her first meeting with the Reverend Mother. She said, "Hard work."

She worked even harder the second year, determined to make a good impression on the other nuns. At the end, she went to the the Reverend Mother and said, "Long hours."

She worked a third year, even harder than the first two, and by the end she couldn't take it any more. She told the Reverend Mother, "I quit."

The Reverend Mother replied, "Can't say I'm surprised. You've done nothing but complain the whole time you've been here."

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b1ackfa1c0n@reddit

A new nun entered a convent where she was given a vow of silence and allowed to speak 2 words every year to mother superior.

After a year, mother superior called her into the office and said, you may now speak your 2 words.

"Bed Hard" was the reply.

After another year, the nun was once again given permission for her 2 words.

"Food Bad" was her response

At the end of her third year, she was again summoned where she announced, "I quit"

"Well I'm not surprised", said the mother, "You've been here 3 years and done nothing but complain"

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aniztar@reddit

Letter. Write a letter.

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emeraldsfax@reddit

And he couldn't write?

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eddible-choclate@reddit (OP)

If he could, there would be no joke 🤣

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