What do you call a witch at the beach?

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TransFryingPan@reddit

when my half brother was about 4 years old we started introducing him to knock knock jokes. he was very proud of himself for making one up on his own. its been about 6 years since then and its turned into a sorta inside joke in my family now because it makes no sense whatsoever but still cracks us all up whenever anyone tells it, simply because its such a cute little thing for a 4 year old to make up all on their own knock knock who’s there? leaf leaf who? dog bone

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qwddwq@reddit

Knock knock Who's there? Window Window who? Windows a frog. That was the first knock knock joke I ever told and I thought about that when I read your comment

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nsa-cooporator@reddit

I... Don't get it. Help

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qwddwq@reddit

It's okay, there's no real joke there to get

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Rizzpooch@reddit (OP)

At dinner tonight, my guy goes, “wanna hear a joke?” “Why do you cook a lemon?” “I don’t know. Why?” “For a joke!” I really appreciated the simplicity of this one

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Floss_tycoon@reddit

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Jakeprops@reddit

My uncle Dinesh.

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Perseus73@reddit

What’s red and brown and eats rocks ? A reddish-brown rock eater.

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Most_Moose_2637@reddit

I've got a great knock knock joke - you start.

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Alternative_Name_949@reddit

Knock knock

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Perseus73@reddit

Come in ?

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Alternative_Name_949@reddit

Front or back?

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Perseus73@reddit

Side door ?

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Alternative_Name_949@reddit

Haha I don't know xD I was confused after the first comment I made :'D

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Redditorianerierer@reddit

Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Ash Who? Bless you (You have to read it out loud)

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Wotmate01@reddit

Knock knock. Who's there? Statue. Statue who? Statue TransFryingPan?

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BobcatOU@reddit

I just asked my four year old and he said “a Bitch!” very proud of himself that he combined beach and witch. So thanks for that!

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Book-Faramir-Better@reddit

Ha! Amazing!! Your kid is going places!

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mzzchief@reddit

O dear. Same. Not sure what that says about me, or if I like it. 😂

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ballrus_walsack@reddit

Son of a —

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yearofthesquirrel@reddit

Kitch?

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Cydok1055@reddit

I was about the same age when I called my sister a slut. I combined slob and nut

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Weekly-Ad-3746@reddit

Kinda reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and my dad was helping me with my spelling homework. I had to spell Kitchen and then he asked me what it would be if I switched the K with a B.

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BigBlueMountainStar@reddit

Weach.

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boitrubl@reddit

Laughed way too hard at this

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kmdrex@reddit

thats pretty good

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XxGothBabyGirl666xX@reddit

My automatic answer was bitch as well lol. Combining the two. Oops lol

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ElderberryFew8898@reddit

That's a female dog

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DarthShubi@reddit

Why did the shark blush? Because it seen the oceans bottom. My toddler loves this one it's his go to

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Aggressive_Fault_657@reddit

What do you call an italian man with a fake foot? Roberto (Rubber toe)

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Aggressive_Fault_657@reddit

What kind of bees make milk? Boobies

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Phoenix-Angel@reddit

What do you call a hippo with one leg A hoppo

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MSmasterOfSilicon@reddit

Solid! I'll trade you my 2nd grader's favorite: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator

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Phoenix-Angel@reddit

When I saw this comment I immediately called my 8yo nephew and told it to him. He barely laughs at anything and he loved it

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boitrubl@reddit

Surprised an 8 year old knows what a Zippo is tbh Not sure I did at that age and many more people were smoking back then

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Limp_Activity_5185@reddit

They were replying to the gator joke

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MSmasterOfSilicon@reddit

Nice! Glad he liked it

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Bing-o@reddit

What state is the best student? Alabama It got 4 As and 1 B

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alyalmahdi@reddit

Oof but its got L too

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TargetOfPerpetuity@reddit

That was in PE.

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johnjmcmillion@reddit

Or Sex Ed.

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Infamous_Box3220@reddit

Sex Ed in Alabama?

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BellaxPalus@reddit

Yeah, it's the parents' right to teach Sex Ed there.

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31spiders@reddit

Phonetic joke —> miss is sip “PE”

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RuKidding0MG@reddit

Not as bad as Mississippi. It's got 4 eyes and still can't see. And its highest grade is an I.

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boitrubl@reddit

This took me WAY too long lol

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Major_Independence82@reddit

And 0 teeth

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Ponteaus@reddit

There's an entire graphic novel universe built around this pun, and my 2nd grader loves them!

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marijnjc88@reddit

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? A hippo is very heavy, and a zippo is a little lighter

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DrHampsterPants@reddit

Whaddya call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

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Jakeprops@reddit

My wife

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cvlf4700@reddit

And with no legs?? Ground beef!

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notawight@reddit

That just gave birth? De-calf-inated

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Phoenix-Angel@reddit

Yeah, I’m gonna be inundating my sisters kids with these in the next couple days lol

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sofaking1958@reddit

Funny, but I'd go with a hippo with a missing leg or a hippo with 3 legs, cuz a hippo with one leg ain't hopping anywhere.

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Rizzpooch@reddit (OP)

Brilliant!

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Tigress92@reddit

Where to hamsters go on vacation? Hamsterdam What is orange and round, hangs in a tree, and all day yells 'I'M AN ORANGE! I'M AN ORANGE!'? A tangerine with a big mouth

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SayYesToPenguins@reddit

Thus one's good!

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buckeyefan1930@reddit

Being five must be tough 😂

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Zadok47@reddit

The first year wasn't so bad, but the next three were terrible.

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Limp_Activity_5185@reddit

They were replying to the gator joke

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Dashover@reddit

Did you hear the one about the three eggs? Two bad

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Dashover@reddit

Everyone calls my dad GI Joe Firstly his name is Joe And he has gastrointestinal issues

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InstructionLower4344@reddit

"Your mother"

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Significant_Soup_177@reddit

Only the finest infantile humor gets crafted for this adult site.

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Eclectic_UltraViolet@reddit

Here’s a coupla oldie-moldies from the Unknown Comic: Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A: Elephino! If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she’d be …. ELLA VADER! RIP Murray Langston

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31spiders@reddit

Did you ever see the family matters where Waldo goes through the names if Ivanna married someone else? It started out w Neil Diamond and Ivana Diamond then Jack Nicklaus and Ivana Diamond-Nicklaus….i can’t find the clip but I was dying at that.

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Eclectic_UltraViolet@reddit

I never saw that, but I used to address letters to a friend named Anita as Anita Mann, Anita Change, etc.

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31spiders@reddit

An acquaintance of ours last name was Cox. They used to bust on her saying her name should have been Anita Simone Cox. Hehe Only thing I ever did as far as a weird letter thing was the our town thing. If you don’t know what I’m talking about it went something like…. Eclectic_UltraViolet 123 Reddit Ln Some inter webs Earth Alpha Centauri Solar system Milky Way galaxy Universe Mind of God.

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Eclectic_UltraViolet@reddit

Love it! Twisted minds think alike.

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BioletVeauregarde33@reddit

Knock knock! Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep-beep!

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yearofthesquirrel@reddit

Is there an extension of this joke that gets to ‘cargo beep beep, run over Easter bunny’? A friend and I forgot the sequence and now use ‘car go beep beep’ as a way of saying that doesn’t make sense…

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Coralthesequel@reddit

Ryanair have just announced their new line of invisible planes I don't see it taking off

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xPewPewNChillx@reddit

But it would still cost £50 for your boarding pass at the gate…

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Puzzleheaded-Joke-97@reddit

Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny! (Especially funny if the kid is not the picky eater in the family!)

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emzirek@reddit

Want to hear a dirty joke? Two pigs fell in the mud... Want to hear an even dirtier joke... Four came out

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Puzzleheaded-Joke-97@reddit

Innocent me never understood that joke when people tried to tell it to me when I was a kid.

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deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]

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31spiders@reddit

Dude! 4yo audience

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One_Cattle_5418@reddit

My 5 y.o daughter told my wife that joke years ago after hearing it at school. I guess 4 and 5 is a big gap.

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k1n6jdt@reddit

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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31spiders@reddit

I heard it as 3 guys walk into a bar….the 4th one ducked

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redzzy1@reddit

My friend David lost his ID... So now we call him Dav.

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tandabat@reddit

What do clouds wear to bed? Thunder-ware

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scarletoharlan1976@reddit

Haha I'm stealing this one. Thanks.

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msnmck@reddit

My nephew told me a joke kids like, especially given he guffaws every time he tells it. A man walks into a library and tells the librarian "hello. I'd like to buy a cheeseburger." The librarian tells the man "sir, this is a library." The man says "oh, I'm sorry." ^(I'd like to buy a cheeseburger.)

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scarletoharlan1976@reddit

My nephews like: what kind of bees make miilk? Boobees!

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

Hahahaq They only give out Book Macs

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Ellereind@reddit

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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goodgrief_itsrelief@reddit

What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye dear. And do you want the adult one for the kicker??

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shuckster@reddit

Yes.

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

Since u/goodgrief_itsrelief never came back, I'll field it: What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls? Still no fucking eye deer.

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goodgrief_itsrelief@reddit

Thanks bro for filling that gap!! ❤️

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jah_liar@reddit

Still no fucking no eye dear?

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RandomiseUsr0@reddit

What do you call a dead dear with no eyes?

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EtOHMartini@reddit

Why bother calling it? Ain't going to answer anyway

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LordDavidicus@reddit

Still no eye deer

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funnystuff79@reddit

Still no idea

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joseph4th@reddit

This was a joke that I thought was in my Mickey Mouse Joke Book, but it must have been another book I had back when I was little. What’s a boobie? A bug that hides in flowers and scares bees. “Boo, bee!” I think I would’ve been around four when I tried this joke on my dad. I was a little unsure of what to do when he angrily asked me where I had heard that word I just continue the joke and gave him the punchline.

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

Did he laugh? Pls say yes because it’s excellent

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joseph4th@reddit

I honestly don’t remember.

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nsa-cooporator@reddit

Repressed trauma system activated

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joseph4th@reddit

Sorry, the moment is frozen in that snapshot of him, looking at me while I had the book open in front of me. I could describe our early 70’s living room including the shag carpet in various colors of ugly green, and the large consul television set. But it’s just that frozen picture.

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Worried-Chance-2802@reddit

Why did toilet roll down the hill? … … To get to the bottom.

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No_Concert2578@reddit

Sandwitch ie: sandwich

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LadeeAlana@reddit

How about this: why can you never starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there ( sandwiches there ).

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scientists-rule@reddit

A Sand Sorceress?

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mmoutarde@reddit

I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it

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vanfidel@reddit

What do you call a seagull that flies over the Bay? A baygull

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boitrubl@reddit

Watch out for baygull schmear!

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Cosmo1222@reddit

A penguin goes to a DIY store. He asks the man behind the counter.. 'Can I have some liquorice?' 'No' comes the reply. .. 'this is a DIY store'. Same thing happens the next day. And the next. And the next. By the fifth day, the man behind the counter is losing patience. 'If you come here and ask this again, I'm going to nail your flippers to this counter!' The penguin approaches the counter the next day and asks.. 'Can I have some nails,please?' Flabbergasted, the man says 'We're waiting for our orders today. We're actually all out of nails!' 'Brilliant ' says the penguin. 'Can I have some liquorice?'

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Cottons_Parrot@reddit

Got any grapes?

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corbymatt@reddit

And he waddled away

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flatoutsportsracer@reddit

Waddle waddle

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boitrubl@reddit

Bom bom bom

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BeDoubleNWhy@reddit

til the very next day

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Cosmo1222@reddit

Nope. But I've got raisins and I've got water. So, we can do an experiment..

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

There’s nothing more comfy and home-welcoming than one bobbing raisin elevator

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Chris5858580@reddit

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef If H²O is in the in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K⁹P

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45Remedies@reddit

What do you call a cow with 2 legs??? Your mom. Or Iean beef.

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boitrubl@reddit

Maybe it's just Eileen

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Perseus73@reddit

Why do women have legs ? So they don’t stick to the floor.

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RandomAccess7@reddit

Why don't I understand the second joke, am i stupid?

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corbymatt@reddit

If it has no legs, the cow is lying on the ground. Cows give beef. Ground beef, mince, etc. Yes. Yes you are.

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RandomAccess7@reddit

No I mean the fire hydrant one, lol.

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corbymatt@reddit

Canine pee

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BubblyCartographer31@reddit

What do you call a bull with no legs named Charles? Ground Chuck.

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Emotional-Adeptness2@reddit

What do beer nuts and deer nuts have in common? They are both found under a buck!

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survivor0000@reddit

What do you call 2 rows of cabbages? A dual cabbageway. Too old?

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31spiders@reddit

I’m 46 am I too young to get it? Make it make sense

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FunkyBlueMax@reddit

Dual carriageway is the old term for a divided highway.

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31spiders@reddit

Ah yeah never heard of that

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Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit

It's not an old term in the UK. Dual carriageways are still going strong. We have hundreds, if not thousands, over here.

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31spiders@reddit

Ohhhhh that would do it! It’s a UK term!

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IndividualSound5365@reddit

Never!

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shlmgbr@reddit

A lady told me these, what’s a DJs favorite sauce? Marinara What’s Mario’s favorite type of pants? Denim denim denim.

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Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit

Q: What does Elon Musk say when he asks someone to squeeze a zit on his face? A: "X marks the spot!"

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31spiders@reddit

I assume the “denim denim denim” is done to the tune of the Mario 1-2 music?

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shlmgbr@reddit

Yes

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drunksquatch@reddit

And her cat is sandy claws

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AppleKrate@reddit

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at the beech ? Bob. What if he's hanging on the wall ? Art. What if he's laying on the floor ? Mat.

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superwrong@reddit

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? None. Alligators can't fly.

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

I always heard this as: If you're paddling a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't *have* bones!

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Perseus73@reddit

Ha that’s great, marmalade!

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

Omg I see it now

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bnnamffins@reddit

HUHH

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MaddytheUnicorn@reddit

How do you make an elephant sandwich? Butter two slices of bread and put an elephant between them.

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

How’d you fit it in the kitchen?

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Perseus73@reddit

2 in the back and 2 in the front. Wait that’s 4 elephants in a Mini

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elocmj@reddit

Is there more to this joke? I have a long string of elephant jokes that starts with putting one in the refrigerator, but that first joke feels clunky

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

Hehe omg no! It wasn’t meant as a joke but a legit question XD Although I’ll happily accept any suggestions as to what the answer might be

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Wiggleynuts@reddit

Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their buttquack.

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Perseus73@reddit

You didn’t mess it up. I understood it perfectly.

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RagingChiliShiz@reddit

You totally messed that one up.. its suppose to be 'why do ducks have tail feathers? To cover their buttquack'

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Yugan-Dali@reddit

Knock knock Who’s there? Odeleeodelee Odeleeodelee who? Wow, I never knew you could yodel.

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Sickweepuppy@reddit

Prefer the version: Knock knock Who’s there? Little old lady Little old lady who? Didn't know you could yodel.

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Yugan-Dali@reddit

Actually, that’s the version I was trying to remember. Thanks a lot!

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pornotic@reddit

Why can't you starve at the beach? Because there's all the sand which you can eat

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tomtalthybius@reddit

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot 🥕

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Additional-Winner-45@reddit

Why did the fish blush? Because the sea weed.

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missanthropy09@reddit

Why did the hamburger go down the hill? It was on a roll!

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motivatedBanana2541@reddit

I thought bitch

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

How many doctors are needed to screw a lightbulb? Six, one to hold the ladder, one to climb it, and three to perform surgery on the one that fell

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Ohgetserious@reddit

Ask your four year old why people don’t starve in the desert. A: Because of the sand which is there.

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Mountain_Platypus486@reddit

Too true, had friends in play school that loved eating wet sand pretending it was porridge

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LonelyDadbod4U@reddit

Why was 10 really scared? Because 7 8 9

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Broke_guy00@reddit

What do you call an old ant? An ANTique

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Haunted_Kumquat@reddit

I've read this book!

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Rad_Knight@reddit

Would work better if you said a sorceress in the titles. It doesn't give the punchline as much.

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CanadianSherlock@reddit

No litterally for a 4-year-old. Op says as much. Do you really expect a 4 year old to be so linguistically developed to realise sorceress and witch to be synonyms???

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tcorey2336@reddit

He would after I told him the joke. Four year olds are sponges.

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Rizzpooch@reddit (OP)

Unfortunately, you all have a more sophisticated vocabulary than my four year old, but that is a good note!

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CanadianSherlock@reddit

The joke was meant for a 4-year-old...

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van_gogh_the_cat@reddit

Agreed

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kmdrex@reddit

Or Sand Witch

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obxgaga@reddit

My ex.

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Wesmokethebluntz@reddit

Why did the witches call off the baseball game?? They forgot the Bats!

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mnoutdoorlover@reddit

You can't starve at the beach. Just eat the sand which is there!  .

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amaznow@reddit

Totally saving this thread!!!!

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Appropriate_Gas664@reddit

Ha ha

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Pinkxel@reddit

Why don't blind people skyjump? Because it scares the (poop) out of the seeing eye dog! Was told that a few days ago by the parking attendant at my doctor's office. 😂

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burntcritter@reddit

How do catch a unique animal? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame one? Tame way unique up on it.

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mxrychu@reddit

i remember seeing this one in a joke book in like second grade

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jayjester@reddit

What do you call a fish without eyes? A Fsh (really force the Shhhhh! Sound).

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whiteclawthreshermaw@reddit

What do you call the perpetrator of someone getting mad on Twitter? An X offender.

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TakoSweetness@reddit

Slash their tires, sugar in the gas tank

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Subject_Midnight9655@reddit

At which beach? So you call a which sandwich

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ElSquibbonator@reddit

What kind of bee can't be understood?  A Mumblebee.

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manowar89@reddit

What’s a mom’s favorite state? Momtana!

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tinfoilknight@reddit

Whats brown and sticky?  A stick

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mmm1441@reddit

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? Because she ran away from the ball and had a pumpkin for a coach.

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Vindicted1501@reddit

*and her coach is a pumpkin

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snafe_@reddit

What do you wall a donkey that's missing a leg? Wonkey

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Agnosticfrontbum@reddit

Why was the beach wet? Coz the seaweed.

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carmabound@reddit

What kind of bear doesn't have any teeth? A gummy bear.

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Angeltheicon@reddit

LMFAOOOOOOO

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No_Board_6564@reddit

What's green and smells like pork? ...Kermit's finger What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? ...Dam Wanna hear a dirty joke? ...A white horse fell into the mud A guy walks into a bar...ouch! Knock knock Whose there? Wa Wa who? WAHOOO!

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