Whats the different between a light bulb and your mom?

[-]

Hello, u/Tigeraqua8 It appears you couldn't read this easy to read comment, so I will help break it down for you Your: (belonging to or associated with the person or people that the speaker is addressing) Mom: (One's mother) Ain't: (Am not; are not; is not) Very: (Actual; precise (used to emphasize the exact identity of someone or something)) Bright: This one they got wrong. They should have said smart. But the definition is (Giving out or reflecting much light; shining) Hope this helps! *I am a troll, and this action was performed automatically*

Reply

[-]

BioletVeauregarde33@reddit

There is a second definition to the word "bright", though. It's "intelligent and quick-witted".

Reply

[-]

Excellent-Platform59@reddit

Hello, u/BioletVeauregarde33 Intelligent and quick-witted have nothing to do with light. Intelligent is how smart someone is and quick-witted means someone have the ability to think and answer questions quickly Hope this helps! *I am a troll, and this action was performed automatically*

Reply

[-]

Charming_Pop_2148@reddit

Wow bro. You are kiloing me

Reply

[-]

Straight-Clothes748@reddit

The bulb gives light and your mom is a desieased whore

Reply

[-]

unclejoe1917@reddit

Why the down votes? This made me laugh.

Reply

[-]

Straight-Clothes748@reddit

I'm thinking it was my misspelling

Reply

[-]

unclejoe1917@reddit

Imagine wanting to squabble over spelling than laugh.

Reply

[-]

Zadok47@reddit

You can't unscrew your mom.

Reply

[-]

Barbchris@reddit

“I can’t unscrew your mom” would be funnier.

Reply

[-]

Zadok47@reddit

Much more gooder.

Reply

[-]

PumpikAnt58763@reddit

Why did you screw your mom in the first place?

Reply

[-]

SpareMind@reddit

After giving birth, mom's thoughts: God, I'm screwed now.

Reply

[-]

survivor0000@reddit

She wanted it

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

That's all. . . . . . . . .I got some calls . . . .

Reply

[-]

Charming_Pop_2148@reddit

Wait a minute

Reply

[-]

Spastar@reddit

But you can turn her on (and off)!

Reply

[-]

Titleofyursextape@reddit

One burns my fingertips when I screw it

Reply

[-]

Fragrant-Dig-7791@reddit

One fingers my burning tip.

Reply

[-]

Titleofyursextape@reddit

One gives LED the other STD

Reply

[-]

CarolinaStoryteller@reddit

My dad could unscrew a light bulb

Reply

[-]

ktka@reddit

Mods, I want a refund.

Reply

[-]

hux@reddit

One creates light and the other created something dim.

Reply

[-]

One_Economist_3761@reddit

It takes more than one guy to screw in your Mom

Reply

[-]

Revolutionary_Item74@reddit

I’ve never screwed a lightbulb

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Lazy. . . . . .or Amish??

Reply

[-]

Revolutionary_Item74@reddit

Rich, your mom doesn’t cost a lot.

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Haha, you couldn't afford nor handle my mama, God rest her soul! Stay with me here, I can't help but feel like your just talkin at me, and not to me. And they call me. . . . . .Mutt!!

Reply

[-]

tcorey2336@reddit

The light switch doesn’t moan when you flick it up and down.

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

What about the light bulb tho?

Reply

[-]

tcorey2336@reddit

Oh, light bulb. I went for the switch.

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Yeah, went kinda hard too!! Nooice

Reply

[-]

aldulf69@reddit

Is she the light of your life?

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Too real!. . . . . .nah bra

Reply

[-]

Wavearsenal333@reddit (OP)

No bra.

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

You want heavy thoughts that in my opinion, are just a little too close to being feelings, in your light hearted, goofy joke about the similarities between their mother and a light bulb. . . . . . . But really tho, ok whatever then, withdrawn!

Reply

[-]

Wavearsenal333@reddit (OP)

What do you mean? I'm not following you really. I really just thought of the oldest, dumbest setup for a joke, but instead of giving a punchline, I made an anti-joke. Like I was for real sorry for thinking about insulting their mother, knowing that people are going to throw out their best punchlines anyways. I'm not trying to prove some point

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Hey, I'm gonna talk true here. . . . . .I'm in a really weird place man, I'm just holding out with the hope that it's a transitional thing and therefore be over soon. I do apologize actually, kinda Karen-ish and im ashamed cuz we're all better than!! Hahahaha, that's word too. . . . .

Reply

[-]

Wavearsenal333@reddit (OP)

No worries

Reply

[-]

Common_Chester@reddit

A bulb screws in a socket, yo mama screws in the 7/11 parking lot.

Reply

[-]

BlueberryVarious912@reddit

The lightbulb isn't dead yet?

Reply

[-]

KarlSethMoran@reddit

One of them can spell?

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Light bulbs cant spell shit

Reply

[-]

kublermdk@reddit

You can spell the word SHIT from Light Bulbs. Capitalising each letter you end up with "lIgHT bulbS" You can't get any of the letters from "Your Mum". But depending on which hole you go for, I'm sure she could provide. If that's your thing (it ain't mine).

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Word bra, right on, right on. . . . . . .it's mom tho. . . .

Reply

[-]

kublermdk@reddit

I'm Australian. So it's Mum for me

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Indeed it would be, I do forget the reach of reddit sometimes, I'll fuck off now, lol. I've fucked off before. . . . . . it's not a problem for me!!

Reply

[-]

Q-burt@reddit

Light bulbs screw in only two directions!

Reply

[-]

1983Targa911@reddit

It doesn’t take a whole football team to screw in a light bulb?

Reply

[-]

Charming_Pop_2148@reddit

Maybe a light house lightbulb

Reply

[-]

gigaswardblade@reddit

It only takes 1 dude to screw a lightbulb

Reply

[-]

Charming_Pop_2148@reddit

Depends

Reply

[-]

Virtual_Locksmith553@reddit

Lord have mercy if you were to continue this statement...

Reply

[-]

Charming_Pop_2148@reddit

My mom isn't always screwed unlike a lightbub

Reply

[-]

Odimorsus@reddit

One is bright and has a reason to exist.

Reply

[-]

Wavearsenal333@reddit (OP)

A light bulb quits working when you shake it.

Reply

[-]

Acceptable_Stop2361@reddit

Lightbulb doesn't fart when I pull the meat out.... wait wrong joke...

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

The butcher says, "hey, I bet I could get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up your bulls ass . . . . Wait. . .no its gotta be your bull! #RIPchris

Reply

[-]

Acceptable_Stop2361@reddit

Golden. Mr. Farley was a gift while he was here

Reply

[-]

RhodaDice@reddit

Mom can still be turned on even in a blackout.

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Yeah, but its tough tho

Reply

[-]

Upstairs-Formal-6652@reddit

explain?

Reply

[-]

Wavearsenal333@reddit (OP)

I was going to go hard on your mom for all the reasons I think she's a whore, and how it's easier to screw your mom in the dark (because she's ugly) but then I realized that I have no basis to call your mom a whore. I'm sure she's probably a lovely woman who doesn't deserve that kind of ridicule.

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Ahhhhh. . . . . . I don't buy it, what's your angle here?

Reply

[-]

Adghar@reddit

Pretty sure this is just an r/antijoke, or something similar

Reply

[-]

RuthlessSpud_11@reddit

Your mum isn’t very bright

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

You said mum, it should have been mom!!

Reply

[-]

RuthlessSpud_11@reddit

And she is so fat that she actually blocks the light

Reply

[-]

FloydsForked@reddit

Guy shouts from the back of the train: "Only takes one guy to screw a lightbulb!"

Reply

[-]

olmutt88@reddit

Why are we on a train, sir. . . . .did you skip ahead again??

Reply

[-]

mirands93@reddit

The lightbulb is cheaper and does more work around the house

Reply

[-]

NoctyNightshade@reddit

That's odd, i'm getting feedback from multiple credible c9mmunities that your mom is certainly cheaper than any lightbulb to ever hit the market.

Reply

[-]

mirands93@reddit

Lmfao yea that’s possible but that’s only if you’re going by euros.

Reply

[-]

RikuDog18@reddit

Ohhh, so she’s a Japanese milf?

Reply

[-]

mirands93@reddit

She can be anything you want her to be for the right price 😘

Reply

[-]

PumpikAnt58763@reddit

I dunno. I heard your mom is pretty cheap.

Reply

[-]

mirands93@reddit

Well your dad should know since he’s good at blowing the baby bonus on useless holes 😂

Reply

[-]

jonnyprophet@reddit

If I screw your mom in the wrong hole, she still can get turned on.

Reply

[-]

relapse_account@reddit

A lightbulb never accused me of folding the towels the wrong way on purpose just to make her mad.

Reply

[-]

PumpikAnt58763@reddit

Are you my sibling?!

Reply

[-]

fiddlesdevil@reddit

Hilarious

Reply

[-]

SilentSniper062@reddit

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Reply

[-]

Major_Independence82@reddit

You can only buy light bulbs in specific stores

Reply

[-]

CelticBlue22@reddit

I can turn on a light bulb with one finger

Reply

[-]

emzirek@reddit

My mother is dead

Reply

[-]

Fit_Definition_4634@reddit

So’s my lightbulb

Reply

[-]

TheepDinker2000@reddit

My light bulb isn't dead yet.

Reply

[-]

One_Cattle_5418@reddit

My dad

Reply

[-]

ou8bbq@reddit

Your mom is like a phone booth in the rain. Wet rubbers in and out all night long.

Reply

[-]

BioletVeauregarde33@reddit

If your mom falls, she won't shatter.

Reply

[-]

mirands93@reddit

Think that depends on how old she is really.

Reply

[-]

TankEngineFan5@reddit

Or her current state.

Reply

[-]

Tobio88@reddit

Or from which height.

Reply

[-]

NewGuy-1964@reddit

Shatter or splatter? No matter. Same result.

Reply

[-]

BioletVeauregarde33@reddit

Then again, if she does shatter, she won't let out a toxic gas. (Or will she?)

Reply

[-]

NewGuy-1964@reddit

No offense my dear, but what does a blueberry know of toxic gases?

Reply

[-]

BioletVeauregarde33@reddit

Wait- Violet Beauregarde is someone's mom? She's the last one of the ticket winners I'd expect to have a child when she grows up!

Reply

[-]

NewGuy-1964@reddit

I'm not so sure about that. Let's see. The other three are just as repulsive. Veruca will just buy her trophy husband, but might be too spoiled to have kids herself. Mike might never get past virtual sex. Augustus won't have any problem. He'll just marry someone who likes to eat as much as he does. That just leaves Charlie. But he's going to grow up in a chocolate factory. Where is he going to meet girls?

Reply

[-]

BioletVeauregarde33@reddit

Mike will probably adopt.

Reply

[-]

NewGuy-1964@reddit

Kids would just get in the way of his gaming. Besides, just look at him. He's probably gay. (I'm not gay bashing, btw. I'm about to have a husband myself.)

Reply

[-]