In a town long ago, in a faraway land there existed The Wife Store. At the front of the store men would find basic wives. Guaranteed not to run away.

When they got through the basic wives section, the men would pass a velvet rope into the 3rd class wives section. These wives were guaranteed to be attractive and not run away.

Past the 3rd class wives was the 2nd class wife room. These wives were guaranteed to stay attractive, enjoy sex, and won't run away.

Through the 2nd class wives room was the door to the 1st class wives room. These wives were smart, smoking hot, loved freaky sex, had great careers, wouldn't get jealous if you hung out with the guys, and wouldn't run away.

At the very back of the store was a well worn, gold plated door that read Executive Class Wives. Through this door was a counter that read, "You are the 10,765th man to enter this room, which exists to prove one point. Men are never satisfied. Thank you and goodbye." There was nothing else but the exit to the parking lot.

Across the road was the Husband Store. Inside the first room were the basic husbands. Guaranteed not to abuse you. Beyond that the 3rd class husbands. Trained to pick up after themselves and guaranteed not to abuse you. The 2nd class husbands were handsome, picked up after themselves, and wouldn't abuse you. The first class husbands...nobody knew what they would do. Most women never made it past men who pick up after themselves and aren't abusive.