The question was harder to answer than it seemed. For centuries, the Suskulopean people had imprisoned their worst prisoners in Suskulopean Pentagonal Penitentiaries, or “Sus Pents” for short. They were designed to be able to keep in anyone, including the master escapists among the population.

But something had always been wrong. No matter how they were constructed, some people (particularly the least intelligent members of the populace) had always managed to escape. Nobody ever knew why, and after countless redesigns, the people felt that they had no choice. They had to send someone to visit the Oracle.

The Oracle was an old, very large statue of solid gold that stood many miles from the small village. Nobody knew how old it was or how it functioned, but it was said that the Oracle would answer any question it was asked, given enough time. Nobody was allowed to speak to it but the high priest and any who were there for questions. The last question had taken 250 years to answer, and the Oracle’s priests were accepting a new asker. The people sent a young man by the name of Borius.

Borius was an inquisitive sort. He always wanted to know the answers to any sort of question, and more often than not he was able to discover the answer. When this particular question had come up, he had puzzled and agonized about it before eventually agreeing with everyone else that the Oracle might be the only one who knew. He gladly accepted the quest to visit the Oracle.

As he traveled, he met many others who were making the pilgrimage to the Oracle. For many of them, their questions were ones that young Borius had already found answers to in his search for truth. They would all light up in happiness at not having to fight for the Oracle’s favor, then thank Borius and wish him luck. A few had questions that were harder to answer, but nearly every time he was capable of finding an answer somewhere, sometimes with something another traveler he met would say.

There was one exception. Miriam, a young woman from a village near his own. Her question was personal, she said. She didn’t want to share it with any but the Oracle. Borius nodded, choosing to respect her boundaries.

As they traveled together, they grew close, and by the time they reached the Oracle they were acting as if they’d known each other their whole lives.

Upon reaching the Oracle, the priests came to greet them. They were brought into a large hallway where they were told that the Oracle had already made a choice, and that Borius would be the one to ask his question. Miriam protested, but the priest said “The Oracle knows of your question. It has turned away many of the sort before. It also knows that you already know the answer in your heart.” He turned to Borius. “The Oracle will see you now.”

Borius walked towards the back of the temple, through a large curtain that revealed a massive statue towering over everything. He knelt at its feet and asked, “Oh Oracle, I beg of you, I must know: How do you keep idiots in Sus Pents?”

The priests nodded. “We will get the answer to you as soon as possible.”

Borius left, encountering Miriam on the way out. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to ask your question,” he said as they walked back down the path.

“It’s alright,” she said. “He was right. I knew the answer.”

“Oh? And what was it?”

“I was going to ask when I may find the one I could love truly. And the answer is ‘right now’.”

With that, she enveloped him in a tight embrace, and when she leaned in to kiss him he did not resist.

**********

Years later, Borius and Miriam were living together. They had children, and their lives were happy. Borius still wondered about the answer to his question, but he didn’t need it to be happy. It became clear to him that it wasn’t truth he had sought for so long, but happiness.

However, his family and friends now wanted to know the answer to his question. They would constantly pester him about why he wasn’t more concerned about it.

So eventually, they moved.

They moved to another village far away where nobody knew who they were. The Oracle was still talked about, but this village had never even sent someone to ask a question in over 300 years.

Then came war. A war band attacked the lands. The small village Borius had grown up in was sacked and looted.

Than Miriam’s. Than the rest. One by one, villages fell to the raiders. The Oracle’s temple was raided, the last person who knew its secret killed.

The raiders, upon finding a large gold statue, couldn’t believe their luck. The villages had had things to steal, of course, but nothing like this. It was easily worth more than a whole kingdom.

But when they tried to break it, or to melt it down, it flatly would not be damaged. The surface stayed perfect, unblemished. You would never even know that someone had tried to chip it.

This was much less useful than they had hoped, but they resolved to cart it off to be broken down later. It took hundreds of men many hours to to bring it out of the area and load it onto a ship to be brought home.

Upon arriving in their destination, they presented it to the leader of their war band, whose eyes betrayed the deep-seated greed he held in his heart. But when told of the difficulty they had been having breaking it down, he rubbed his hands together, excited to deal with a challenge.

Over the next several years the greatest scientists and magicians from around the world showed up to try to solve the problem. But none could figure out anything. Not one could make a dent, the closest any could get was a small scorch mark on the side that faded after a few days.

Eventually, it became something of a curiosity, and as times changed and the war band became less warlike, they built a city with this artifact as the centerpiece. Society progressed over several centuries, and eventually ancient writings were discovered that led to people theorizing about mystical powers the odd sculpture had. That it could answer any question posed it, given enough time. People came from all over to ask questions, but of course it never responded.

When writings were discovered that disclosed where it had first stood, a cry came across the land to return it to its rightful home in hopes that its mysterious powers could be restored. When eventually it was granted and The Oracle was taken home, nothing changed. It answered no one.

More time passed. Society continued to progress, and soon there were people in space, leaving the planet. They traveled among the stars and brought back tales of other races, and a strange Union among many races. They quickly joined, and were soon propelled into the highest echelons of the union upon the discovery of this strange artifact that not even other races knew of or understood.

Then came war. And another. The galaxy was torn asunder time and time again as people bickered and fought over every small corner of it that they thought they deserved. The Oracle was constantly moving, bouncing around from one civilization to another, all fascinated by its mystery. The legend kept growing, with one civilization claiming they had harnessed it to generate massive destructive power only to be destroyed by another civilization that soon realized it was a massive lie.

But death came for them all. As a new scourge swept across the galaxy, a disease that wiped out all life, The Oracle was lost. Crash-landed on some planet out in the middle of nowhere, it was suspected it would never be found.

However, as the end of everything approached, the universe collapsing in on itself, something happened. An expedition set out. A man named Borias learned of The Oracle’s legend. He reasoned that it could help, maybe tell them how to avoid death as the universe tore itself apart.

Countless hours were spent on the search. And at long last, they found it. Unfortunately, the ship it had been contained in held a small sample of the virus, and after a time all but Borias were dead. With nobody to help him move The Oracle, or even leave the planet, he sat there with it, watching as the universe ended.

He heard a deep rumbling, from somewhere next to him. He looked up at The Oracle, clearing its throat to speak for the first time in any recorded history.

“Your ancestor met me once, you know.”

“W… what?” Borias asked.

“Your ancestor. Borius was his name. He asked me a question. One that it has taken until now to properly answer.”

“What was it?”

A deep chuckle. “He asked me how one might keep idiots in Sus Pents.”

A long sigh, and then the last two words ever uttered in the whole universe.

“Like that.”