One of the funniest and better monk jokes of all time: A man decided to join a monastery where you were only allowed to say two words every 10 years
Posted by Reecethehawk@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 49 comments
After 10 years in the monastery the head monk summons’ him and says ‘You’ve been with us for 10 years. What two words would you like to say.’
The monk replies ‘I’m hungry’, so the head monk organises for an extra ration be given to him each day.
After 20 years the head monk calls him in again and asks ‘What two words would you like to say?’
The monk replies with ‘Too cold’, so the head monk organises for him to get another blanket.
After 30 years the head monk calls him in and says ‘What two words would you like to say’.
The monk replies with ‘Wanna leave’.
The head monk says ‘I’m not surprised. You’ve done nothing but complain since you’ve been here’.
BeligaPadela@reddit
I once had a monk tell me this joke:
Confucius say,
TheodoreEDamascus@reddit
Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day.
LostInNebraska@reddit
But man with 2 hole not feel 2 cocky
humperty@reddit
Confucius say: Man who fart in church, sit in own pew.
Chaoshumor@reddit
I’ve never heard that joke and full belly laughed while in a Teams meeting at work. Had to mute and turn the camera off immediately.
TheLostTexan87@reddit
Confucius say man who run in front of car get tired, but man who run behind car get exhausted.
Jellodyne@reddit
I'm not waiting 60 years for that
stumblon@reddit
At that age, man who fart in church sit in own poo.
snowgles@reddit
Confucius say: Man who walk through airport gate sideways is going to Bangkok.
Carlito2393@reddit
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
Hanako_lkezawa@reddit
Man who stands on toilet high on pot.
jsbach90@reddit
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
petey_b_311@reddit
Man who jerks off comes in handy.
Man who jerks off into cash register comes into money.
Malalang@reddit
Man who run behind bus get exhausted.
Man who run in front of bus get tired.
nylonMelodick74@reddit
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with stinky finger.
Certain_Site_8764@reddit
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot
Jahn@reddit
Never test depth of water with two feet
flying_carabao@reddit
Don't sweat the petty stuff ... and don't pet the sweaty stuff.
Actually_Im_a_Broom@reddit
Remindme! 10 years
Sure_War_1008@reddit
Man who cuts self while shaving lose face, or
Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night, or
Man who sits on tack gets the point and finally
Man who eats too many prunes gets good run for money.
DeathSpot@reddit
Why does the head monk get to say more than two words?
almuncle@reddit
It should be a committee of three senior monks who each get two words: "not surprised", "thirty years", "always complaining"
SeveralAngryBears@reddit
I can't tell you, you're not a monk
nagora@reddit
He's the head monk of a different monastery.
Brilliant_Store2983@reddit
I thought the same thing
FoxyBastard@reddit
Rules for thee, not for me.
Doc-in-a-box@reddit
NIMBY
zovits@reddit
He's been saving for this day the last sixty years.
BoliverTShagnasty@reddit
This guy maths
Phormitago@reddit
head monk, not foot monk
Hoop66@reddit
Rank Has Its Privileges
DoesntMatterEh@reddit
Because he's the boss bitch
MizterF@reddit
He's just saying it all really quickly as a single word. The classic Bob Wehadababyitsaboy strategy
pjtrpjt@reddit
He's ahead of the others.
AgeAdditional4971@reddit
Why does it matter why the boss monk gets to talk more than the rest of the monks? It’s a freaking joke it doesn’t have to make sense
rk1959@reddit
So, I guess my question of why is the monastery not warmer and not giving out more food will forever remain unanswered. How can I laugh at a joke that allows for a monastery such as this? /s
PhilosopherInfinite5@reddit
Just read this joke three times in the last week. Do ppl just recycle jokes? Or is it the same one somehow making rounds in my feed?
JoMo816@reddit
Wasn't this posted last week word for word?
Z_tinman@reddit
It gets reposted every few weeks.
ArkBigFoot@reddit
Man with short pencil better than man with long memory.
TRIPEL_HOP_OR_GTFO@reddit
Thanks for telling us it’s funnier en better than the rest
KedarKantha@reddit
Head monk has no word limit?
Turbulent-Break-4947@reddit
It’s good to be da king
Meerv@reddit
Wololo
Brick_Eagleman@reddit
20-30 years ago my priest told this joke as part of the homily except his punch line was "Ever since you got here it's just been bitch, bitch, bitch."
Br00klynBones@reddit
Bad retelling of this joke that was posted like a week ago. Bad bot.
piper63-c137@reddit
unfortunately, this joke rises to the top of the c. pool every 4 months.
kiddrekt@reddit
Good old number 12
achalawdi@reddit
Wanna fap
The monk kneeled.