A monk, in his cell at the monastery, is weeping inconsolably.

Posted by LostBetsRed@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 28 comments

The other monks, hearing his anguished cries, rush to him, anxious to find out what's wrong. "My brother," says the lead monk. "What is wrong? What has caused you such immense pain and despair?" The monk looks up with his tear-streaked face. "I was just reviewing the sacred texts," he explains.

"It says celebrate! CEL-E-BRATE!!"

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TheAmnesiacKid@reddit

Cel-e-b-r-ate.

I guess those monks aren't very literate... Messing up two of the letters and all.

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DaFoxtrot86@reddit

I know this one. The lead monk was supposed to go into the basement to review the original scriptures to make sure everything was copies correctly since they were making copies of copies, and he didn't come up for hours. Then when they found him, he was crying and said "Those bastards! The word was 'Celebrate'!"

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wimpykidfan37@reddit

The version I know makes the joke a bit easier to understand. When the other monks find him crying, he’s saying “We forgot the R!”

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Midnorth_Mongerer@reddit

Better.

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StarsBear75063@reddit

We must be celebrate? 🤷🤷🤷

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UltimateOtter_Nation@reddit

Celibate--to willing refrain from having sex.

Sounds and looks a little bit like celebrate.

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StarsBear75063@reddit

Oh, Sweetie. I'm not that stupid.

In the context, the misunderstood sentence of "We must be celibate?" would have originally been "We must be celebrate?" which is a bad sentence.

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ichfickeiuliana@reddit

It's a joke. The original would be in latin/greek/hebrew in any case.

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QueenLevine@reddit

Not Hebrew, bro. We don't ask our rabbis to refrain, aside from during their wives' time of the month. Sure, Yeshu's disciples were mostly Jews, wrote in Hebrew, but no, they weren't responsible for Catholicism.

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PistachioPug@reddit

The Bible doesn't command priests to refrain either. At most, it says that it's admirable if some individuals make that choice for themselves of their own free will in order to focus on serving God. But when Paul wrote about the qualifications for men to have a position of esteem/authority in the church, he described them having wives and children.

The joke in the original post is just a silly pun, which is fine. It's not supposed to be grammatically, linguistically, or theologically accurate.

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ichfickeiuliana@reddit

I was just covering my ass because I was too lazy to look up the real original language. I am indifferent to the religious differences.

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QueenLevine@reddit

You failed to cover, though, but don't be ashamed of your bare ass. This subreddit is not a family friendly galaxy.

What did the sun say to the moon when it started acting inappropriately? "Put your phases away, this is a family galaxy!"

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posophist@reddit

Here, knock yourself out.

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hazeru@reddit

There's no way I'm reading that! How many pages are there in that document? I immediately closed it when I saw the scroll bar to be very little.

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posophist@reddit

That’s what she said.

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allpurposelazy@reddit

“Go forth, live, and celebrate life”

If the “nd” in and was lost and celebrate was misdocumented it could turn into “go forth, live a celibate life”

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