I have a weird fetish: I like to stick my penis inside the holes in the middle of CDs.

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justx_xperson@reddit

Can I have your address so I can avoid you?

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PewRpew@reddit

Don't worry, I gotchu: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave

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blueblirds@reddit

So you can CDs nutz

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Respekt_MyAuthoritah@reddit

Present them 🥸

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pickle_pickled@reddit

DickVsDisc, I thought that's what DVD stood for?

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kandaq@reddit

This triggered a memory of when I worked in a call center decades ago. We had to speed type while speaking to our customers over the phone.

Typos were common. One of the common typo was disk being misspelled as dick. So from time to time when reviewing case history we would see the word hard dick. True story.

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Canadianchiron@reddit

r/angryupvote

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voltron07@reddit

Got ‘em!

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78NovaSS@reddit

Pencil Peter playing pixar porn on his pecker

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spectaclephoto@reddit

Up

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Tylerich@reddit

Lol, I am curious: What was the thought process how you came up with this joke? :D

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Prestigious_Bad_7646@reddit (OP)

Leave your mind in the gutter for a week.
Put it back in your head and it'll come up with the dirtiest jokes.

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KillaDaKlown@reddit

DVD or BlueRay?

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00Kevin@reddit

Do they have it on laserdicks?

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kydar1@reddit

If it wasn’t blue before, it will be after.

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Triplobasic@reddit

He blue himself

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clearlybaffled@reddit

Bro turned it into a WhiteRay

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Abbaddonhope@reddit

Just say your installing the splash guard.

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trebityblebity@reddit

At least she didn't walk in after you bluRay, that would have been a different conversation.

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Prestigious_Bad_7646@reddit (OP)

Who's Ray?

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SnooCupcakes9855@reddit

He died. He was too blu

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GordonFreeman87@reddit

That’s what happens when you blue yourself Tobias

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notwhoyouthinkmaybe@reddit

At least he didn't have bluballs

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4ssteroid@reddit

Die Via D. Someone should abbreviate that

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bugatti_rolls789@reddit

He had Blondice?

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_Standardissue@reddit

Ray Ray Binks

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3point21@reddit

“I’m not Ray”

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halffilledglasses@reddit

How does that fit?

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lonelierthangod@reddit

an 2009

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HashtagLawlAndOrder@reddit

"She knows I fucked Up" would be a better punchline imo.

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thejazzperson@reddit

It is imperative that the cylinder remains unharmed.

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Jackal-Noble@reddit

r/micropenis

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Zaddyzn@reddit

Hahahaha that must be tiny

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daylight1943@reddit

i believe in modern parlance we call them femboys now

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ichigo2862@reddit

Didn't realize I was on the jokes subreddit and thought I just read someone self-reporting a pencil dick

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Animal2@reddit

I think a better punchline would be

"I didn't think it was a big deal, but she really thinks I fucked Up"

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dungela93@reddit

blu-ray

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SirDrexl@reddit

You'd be going to prison if it were a GameCube disc.

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brodo_bagg3ns@reddit

I can barely fit a finger. Then there's Billy just living it up

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TastyPoopKnife@reddit

Micro dicks use an old cassette tape

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Hot-Idea2428@reddit

Be careful of Disc VD

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evileyeball@reddit

How the hell did you get UP on A CD???

Maybe a DVD but not a CD

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Flagyl400@reddit

Kids today never ripped a DVD down to a 750MB xvid so it could be burned onto a CD-R and it shows.

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Ravenbrah1701@reddit

I adore this comment section

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Browless87@reddit

You are sick! That movie is only 15 years old!

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Ed_Ward_Z@reddit

New definition of a music lover.

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Dartia56@reddit

I did the same with the old audio cassette! Wait…

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Wabutan@reddit

I fully expected a CDeez Nuts joke, was pleasantly surprised

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odindobe@reddit

Tiny penis

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eutohius@reddit

Absolutely didn’t see that coming. I expected a small penis joke.

This is the final boss of dad jokes. Bravo.

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youknowhattodo@reddit

Compact Dicks

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charbelsako@reddit

How small is your dick?

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TahPenguin@reddit

The first thing I thought: "but the opening is so... tiny on a CD, you'll cut yourself."

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clootinclout@reddit

It burns

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sillyshoestring@reddit

r/TIFU

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d0ggzilla@reddit

Same. I was caught with my dick in a copy of the 1995 movie 'Kids'. Now I'm on the sex offender's register.

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dggwhite@reddit

You need a cock ring

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Zealousideal-Ad7111@reddit

The cylinder must remain unharmed!

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iTurnip2@reddit

I know you didn't get that DVD from Rick Astley

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chux4w@reddit

What a disappointment.

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SquishedLemon4@reddit

So.. If he does, and spins it, is he Dickrolled?

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Batwing87@reddit

Maybe a laser disk?

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ChriveGauna@reddit

Laser diks *

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Batwing87@reddit

Gottem

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skylordtanmay@reddit

How's that even possible?

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

After I had 'abused' them like that, my girlfriend told my to throw my Meat loaf CDs out.

I would do anything for love ... but I won't do that.

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sirstiv@reddit

So you're a DickJ?

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SGT-Hooves@reddit

Whoa isn’t Up a little young?!

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Prestigious_Bad_7646@reddit (OP)

It'll be 18 next year.

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