Wife kicked me out of the house for measuring my . . .
Posted by TomKarelis@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 33 comments
Wife kicked me out of the house for measuring my penis.
For the record, it reaches the back of her sister’s throat. . .
secretprocess@reddit
Well now I have to measure your wife's sister's throat myself in order to know how long your penis is.
richminer69@reddit
One measurement isn't perfectly reliable though, you need more samples. I can help you in this.
SlippinJimE@reddit
We'll need at least 100 samples to achieve statistical significance
Sodom_Laser@reddit
In a row?
chemnerd2017@reddit
We’re going to need more sisters
secretprocess@reddit
Well not end to end, probably arranged in parallel
whiznat@reddit
So... 50 each?
MotoXwolf@reddit
Robblehead@reddit
I’m not even supposed to be here today!
No-Raisin-6469@reddit
U offering your throat?
drowned_beliefs@reddit
Big what if your throat is different than his wife’s sister’s?
TunnelingVisions@reddit
What if we measure the lengths of two from base to base (touching tips)then averaged it. That way no one is to blame like a firing squad.
mokicoo@reddit
But no homo
secretprocess@reddit
Perfect! And then we can all compare notes and see who has the longest penis. There's really no other way to do it.
Top-Grapefruit5309@reddit
Wait! what the heck did i just read? huh
LadderNatural6166@reddit
But is her sister's throat a standardised unit of measurement or can it be variable? I think a few more of us had better try it out to check
SabrePossum@reddit
Did you know those pens you use to order from the catalogue at Argos are 2.62 inches in length? Also I'm banned from Argos
Far-Adhesiveness3763@reddit
A rare thing in this sub.....a funny joke
Top-Watercress-4132@reddit
That’s not a measurement, that’s a family feud with extra steps.
roughczech@reddit
In the Rear, it definitely reached there
flying_carabao@reddit
Shishkabobbed sister in law. Nice.
bugatti_rolls789@reddit
Shaboinked*
fartinfreeman@reddit
Damn, this joke hits deep
The7footr@reddit
As with one “foot” being 12”, i just realized we need a standardized measurement for one “penis”
Blacjack702@reddit
I just go with the American standard. 1/600th of a football field.
Hitoseijuro@reddit
7.2 inch(18.288 cm)
High_Jumper81@reddit
“Measure twice, cut once” L. Bobbitt
eggcountant@reddit
To quote Jimmy Carr "Fuckin Legend!"
BriskandBeefyWind@reddit
Good thing there’s a red house over yonder
exdwsa78@reddit
That’s where my baby stays
Uncal_Thal@reddit
In case you get those Statesboro blues.
ablemount@reddit
Frikkin excellent!
borick@reddit
dum dum