A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband. Dr. Schrodinger comes out and says to her, "There's good news and there's bad news."
Posted by Jokeminder42@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 59 comments
The woman says, "Okay, what's the bad news?"
Dr Schrodinger says, "I'm afraid your husband is dead."
"Oh no!" the woman sobs. She regains her composure and says, "But what about the good news?"
And Dr. Schrodinger says, "What good news?"
canuck47@reddit
A woman is in the ER wafting for news about her husband.
The doctor comes out and says "I don't like the looks of him"
The woman says "Neither do I, but he's good to the kids"
chess10@reddit
An officer knocks on the door of a home. A man answers the door and the officer introduces himself and follows with, “I’m sorry but it looks like your wife has been hit by a bus.” The man says, “I know but she’s a great mom and a good cook.”
Grand_Lychee9200@reddit
This is better than the original joke
sidecutmaumee@reddit
As usual, the comments…
anita1louise@reddit
Dr Schrödinger should say, I’m also afraid your husband may be alive.
DifficultyWithMyLife@reddit
Except the wife received new information about her husband, and thus the quantum waveform collapsed and the bad news is now all that ever existed.
PhillGuy@reddit
He's going to be all right. His lost his left hand.
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
Yeah, but the doctor who switched Gob's fingers was worse. Worst hospital in the O. C.
General_Chest6714@reddit
Don’t call it that
Chaotic424242@reddit
A Louisiana cop knocks on the door. When it opens, he says "Boudreaux, I gotta tell ya some good news, and some bad news." A worried Boudreaux says "Oh Lawd, what's the bad news?" The cop says "Well, we found your wife in the bayoo drownded dead." Boudreaux loses it, bursts out sobbing, and wails "Oh Lawd! Oh Lawd! Dead?! How could there be good news?"
"Well, we found 18 blue crabs on her, and we're gonna run her again tonight."
finger_licking_robot@reddit
doctor to the mother, waking up after the C-section: “i have good news and bad news.”
the mother, bravely: “okay... the bad news first.”
doctor: “your newborn is a redhead.”
mother: “ok....and what’s the good news?”
doctor: “it’s dead.”
BargerianJade@reddit
But redheads are incredibly attractive and usually funny
FirstSineOfMadness@reddit
I’m so sad my beautiful red hair has gradually become brown as I’ve gotten older :(
Revolutionary-Key650@reddit
Don't worry it'll probably be all white in the end.
yIdontunderstand@reddit
Not when they are dead ...
SeniorSwordfish636@reddit
Prof Hannah Fry. 😌
WiseStock8743@reddit
Oh God! Yes!
Perfect_Zone_4919@reddit
Dead people aren’t funny but they can still be attractive if you’re drunk enough.
JBR1961@reddit
Second
nahthenlad@reddit
Ha ha oh Jesus Chris, forgive me. It was funny though. And I love read heads.
Gold-Application-154@reddit
What the fuck is that supposed to be funny
darchib@reddit
Reminds me of this Family Guy episode
Dr. Peter Griffin
Gold-Application-154@reddit
And you’re fat old and disgusting
Antonia_Rothschild@reddit
I know stupid but I do not get it?
Magmashift101@reddit
My reading of it was that the news was the same regardless of what kind of news she asked for. So if she’d asked for good news, he would have still said that her husband died but since he delivered it as good news, she would have been happy about it
rbollige@reddit
The Schroedinger’s Cat thought experiment involves a situation where a cat is either alive or dead but nobody can tell which, so allegedly both are true at the same time until somebody checks, at which point one locks in as reality. It’s an intentionally ridiculous extrapolation of quantum physics.
Here, the wife locked the bad news into reality by starting with it. It suggests if she asked for the good news first, that would have become reality instead. At first it wasn’t how I expected the joke to go, but it’s actually pretty clever.
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
Google "Schrodinger's Cat."
mp256@reddit
Dr. Schrodinger - "The good news is that now you own a cat".
zeroconflicthere@reddit
"The good news is that there's still hope for your cat"
Unique_Acadia_2099@reddit
That’s a much better ending.
Dangerous-LemonBar@reddit
Doctor says to the woman: “I have good news and bad news.”
Woman: “Give me the good news.”
Doctor: “You’ve given birth to an 8 pound, 4 ounce ear.”
The woman, shrieking: “What! An ear? Just an ear?” The woman starts crying. “What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “It’s deaf, too.”
Spliffman1@reddit
This was funnier than the schrodinger joke lol
Reecethehawk@reddit
One of the best jokes
ardotschgi@reddit
A joke is good when you laugh before getting it?
Reecethehawk@reddit
Look at what he called the doctor
ardotschgi@reddit
I got the joke. Maybe I just don't understand your phrase "before you click on it". I assumed it meant "before you get it".
crash866@reddit
The doctor comes out of the delivery room and says Here is your new baby but I’m afraid your wife didn’t make it.
The man hand the baby back and says ‘Bring me the one she did them’.
Icy_Needleworker7790@reddit
It would work better if after she asks for th good news ther doctor reacted "your husband is dead".
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
I'm not sure. I think the point is: when the woman opts to hear the bad news, her decision collapses the wave function so that now there is only bad news.
JimDixon@reddit
But in Schrodinger's version, you have to actually observe the cat to make it dead or alive. The woman hasn't observed her husband yet, but the doctor has, so presumably the function has already collapsed. I suppose you could say the doctor performed the surgery and then put the husband in a black box, and waited a while, so he wouldn't know the outcome.
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
Actually... Yes, it's possible the doctor doesn't know if the husband is alive or dead. (Maybe the husband has been moved to the recovery room in critical condition.) So what the doctor knows is that there are two possibilities. When the woman chooses "bad news", that causes the wave function to collapse, making "dead" 100% and alive "0%. The other possibility (and here things get a little weird) is that the doctor knows, but now he and the husband are now in a superposition of states vis a vis the woman. (Now... isn't that hilarious?)
Lonely-Union6540@reddit
That’s pretty clever. It went over my head at first but it’s a good joke. I think gooning and public fist fights are more the Reddit crowd’s speed
apeaky_blinder@reddit
All jokes are better when explained
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
Yep, and when you are done dissecting it, what you have is a dead mouse.
intrepid_foxcat@reddit
Yes I think it's great as it is, this person just doesn't get it
lkstaack@reddit
The good news is that he wasn't killed by either poison or radiation.
posthuman04@reddit
The good news is now we know he’s dead
minimumBeast@reddit
I don’t get it 🤤
chess10@reddit
Bottom line, always ask for the good news first.
Reecethehawk@reddit
Maybe you do get it?
Sea_Is@reddit
Her husband was in a superimposed state of being date and live. She asked for bad news, and thus observed the dead state. So he was no longer in a superimposed state, and thus the good news became no longer available.
patrickfrmnj@reddit
Dr. Schrodiner: "The good news is that he might be alive, go and take a peek in."
darchib@reddit
Reminds me of this Family Guy episode
Dr. Peter Griffin
DonTrask@reddit
The good news is the guy in the bed. Where is the same size shoe he wants to buy his.
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
There's that, and... "Those flowers are from the guy in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
canada11235813@reddit
Interestingly, this joke also works if it’s not Dr. Schrodinger, but any doctor. It just becomes a completely different joke.
Boomer humor… the bad news is that your husband is dead. The good news is that your husband is dead.
Reecethehawk@reddit
Cmon dude 😂😂😂😂 you can't be calling him that
articland05_reddit@reddit
It is Aladeen
johnatsea12@reddit
The good news your husband is dead….
The bad news here is my bill