Cinderella is shipwrecked. She washes up on a barren, rocky island in the middle of the ocean.
Posted by jamesianm@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 41 comments
There's nothing on the island, not trees or animals or even grass. Cinderella starts to cry. "Oh, what will I do?"
Then POOF! Her Fairy Godmother appears.
"Oh thank goodness!" Says Cinderella. "Fairy Godmother, I need your help again! Please get me off this desert island and back safely to land!"
"Oh, deary me!" Says the Fairy Godmother. "Unfortunately, my magic can only turn things into other things. I could make one of these rocks into a ship to sail you home, and some other rocks into sailors, but it would be a journey of many weeks, and they'd all turn back into rocks at the stroke of midnight and you'd drown! I think I will have to fly across the ocean myself and try to convince a ship to sail out to rescue you! But it will take days, or possibly weeks, and you might starve in the meantime. So here is what I will do. I will give you some of my magic."
Zippity zoop! The Fairy Godmother waves her wand at Cinderella.
"There. Now, all you need to do is point at something and say a type of food, and that thing will turn into that food and so you will be able to stay fed and healthy until I can return."
"Oh, thank you, Fairy Godmother!" Cinderella says. "Let me try it out right now!" She points at a nearby rock. "You are a roast turkey."
POOF! The rock turns into a perfectly cooked roast turkey, smelling delicious. Delighted, Cinderella points at a seashell. "You're a milkshake!"
POOF! The seashell turns into a milkshake.
"Oh wow!" Cinderella says, "This is wonderful. Thank you so much, Fairy Godmother, you're a lifesaver!"
POOF!
404_GravitasNotFound@reddit
To fix the joke at nitpickers, two things. When the fairy gives the power have her say "transform into food permanently" , because if it's temporary then Cinderella only has to wait until midnight and apologize to the fairy....
And of course change the punchline to something like, "Ecstatic, Cinderella points to the good mother "Oh thank you so much! You!, You are a real lifesaver! "
jamesianm@reddit (OP)
But if she can give Cinderella the ability to transform the food permanently, why can't she just create a permanent ship? Maybe it only works with inanimate objects, so she couldn't create a permanent crew, but food is ok.
I knew this joke would get nitpicked. I love reddit.
Dougustine@reddit
But why doesn't the fairy godmother just come back every day or two and make food instead of giving away some of her power? Wait, why doesn't she go to the kingdom and tell prince charming where Cinderella is?
All joking aside, I will upvote this simply for the simple sake of keeping it G-rated so I can tell my kids.
lockecole38@reddit
How to tell someone didn’t read the joke without them outright stating they didn’t read the joke. The Fairy Godmother said she was going to fly over the ocean and try to find someone to rescue her and it would take days and maybe even weeks. So I propose this question to you. If it would take the Fairy Godmother potentially weeks to fly across the ocean and find someone to rescue Cinderella why can’t the Fairy Godmother come back every day or two and make more food for Cinderella?
i_706_i@reddit
Reminds me of this old bit by Arj Barker with his 500 gallon bottle of gatorade
timex488@reddit
Rare to read a joke on here I haven’t heard before. Congrats.
SkullsNelbowEye@reddit
I was surprised it didn't involve the food turning back into rocks or shells in her stomach at midnight.
bono_212@reddit
Glad my mind wasn't the only one that went there.
SheepherderSad4872@reddit
#17.
mbgt127@reddit
more please
mbgt127@reddit
the one I use is a bit shorter and found here as well https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/ZqWAGfCZHU
ProfBeaker@reddit
Not really the same joke.
Don_Loco@reddit
Well she didn't point at her.
And I wish Cindy a good nights sleep, when al the food turns back to rocks and seahshells and stuff in her belly.
hummus_sapiens@reddit
She will have digested it by midnight.
But tomorrow she'll shit bricks.
Don_Loco@reddit
Take care pf late night dinners
DeaddyRuxpin@reddit
She needs reverse gremlin rules. Only eat after midnight so she has the maximum amount of time to digest before things revert.
TheMadDruid@reddit
That’s pretty funny.
blahmeistah@reddit
And she can always turn the lifesaver back into the fairy godmother.
President_Calhoun@reddit
I'd assume the fairy godmother would turn back into herself at the stroke of midnight, just like the sailors would turn back into rocks.
PranksterAladdin@reddit
She can only convert something to a type of food. She may have to eat a little bit of that fairy afterwards.
Beta_Factor@reddit
Pretty sure that part is implied.
Don_Loco@reddit
Magic works with details
kiohazardleather@reddit
It's a "heavy meal".
Etheo@reddit
Wouldn't the good turn back into rock in her stomach
Dougustine@reddit
that sounds worse than a kidney stone!
Sheneeda_Biscuit@reddit
She then wishes for a big bottle of stool softener.
Wait, that might not work. How about that stuff they make you drink for a colonoscopy? I could easily pass a roast turkey. Then maybe invent a jet ski and zip home.
maester_t@reddit
That's where I thought the joke was headed too lol
qwixel69@reddit
And at midnight, she dies of a nasty bowel obstruction.
jflb96@reddit
A what now?
looeee2@reddit
Polo mints are called lifesavers in USA
Pleasant_Flatworm866@reddit
Hearty chuckleated endorsement. You have to watch what you say around Fairy Godmothers and Genies.
Philip_J_Frylock@reddit
Should have just turned herself into a jet plane and flown home, and then turn back to normal by midnight.
Beatless7@reddit
What happened at midnight?
ghoonk@reddit
But they would all turn back to their original forms at midnight!
snooprodstep@reddit
Couldnt she have turned something into a helicopter instead of a ship?
guygreej@reddit
wait for mid-night, she'll be back and you'll have learned your lesson. Complete with rock and seashell particles in your bloodstream and food deposits.
nerankori@reddit
Fairy Godmother shoulda carried her and flown back to land. Work those muscles a bit.
mbgt127@reddit
good time to dissect a joke, when its still fresh
RonPalancik@reddit
But then a few hours later the turkey turns to rock in her stomach, killing her instantly
RansomStark78@reddit
Suck on that
Krostas@reddit
Fully expected the punchline to be "You're a peach!" while she's going in for a hug.