My kinky ex girlfriend used to have sex with fruit whenever she got stressed...
Posted by 808gecko808@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 34 comments
After we broke up, she went fucking bananas!
chartreuse_chimay@reddit
I had a girlfriend who used to have sex with citrus fruits until she got an STD...
She got... Lemon-AIDs
Amonette2012@reddit
Did she steal them?
DOOManiac@reddit
Life gave them to her.
yIdontunderstand@reddit
I bet that stings..
gbredman@reddit
Mine got Limes disease
melenajade@reddit
At least it wasn’t consensual and not Ripe
dadadararara@reddit
How do you like them apples?
Ewetootwo@reddit
Cantaloupe then?
brainwashable@reddit
You can always love a girl for her melons.
Xynthion@reddit
She has to do a traditional wedding because she cantaloupe.
BatKnuckles@reddit
r/yourjokebutworse
Mnewby9201@reddit
I don't carrot
Shimaru33@reddit
Sounds like she's a peach.
TunnelingVisions@reddit
We broken because she was fucking bananas!
Emotional-Net130@reddit
Did you go fucking apeshit just to spite her?
xinbenlv@reddit
That escalated from fruity to fully unpeel-ed way too fst.
yeahgoestheusername@reddit
Sounds like it appealed to her softer side.
greenslam@reddit
She wasn't happy with his cucumber, so she found some one else to cause her to scream honey dew me.
Happytobehere66@reddit
Bu5, they make a nice pear.
SummerFlat7720@reddit
Sorry, but this just sounds like sour grapes…
Disastrous_Term316@reddit
Fruit basket
juzz_fuzz@reddit
Your pet name is 'bananas'?
ajkelly451@reddit
No, that’s obviously her yoga instructor’s name
Prairiewill@reddit
I had a similar problem when I found peanuts and pistachios all over my girlfriend's bed. That's when I realized she was fucking nuts.
TVGMILLER@reddit
Orange you glad you broke up?
JaguarMammoth6231@reddit
You thought she was breaking up with you but she just said "I need a real man,go!"
WusabiBobby@reddit
I had to leave her because she was fucking bananas.
Ewetootwo@reddit
Already the punchline.
BGP_001@reddit
She said I'd love to, but I don't avocado
VexImmortalis@reddit
cumquat
OneNormalBloke@reddit
Your relationship went pear shaped.
dArcor@reddit
It was fucking dis pear
shotsup@reddit
So your ex is a monkey ?
OddBit4380@reddit
She miss you.