4 beer company CEOs walked into a bar…

3 Off topic, but not all lovers of craft beer are snobs about it. I'll drink what I enjoy, and you drink what you enjoy. There is no right or wrong about it.

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NEpatsfan64@reddit

but not all lovers of craft beer are snobs about it

If you're not a snob about it, then you're not a beer snob, you just enjoy craft beer! I do too! I just don't enjoy people who are snobby about beer in any way shape or form,

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2/ Tint is a really excellent cue. As is turbidity. That’s why a triangular is done without being able to see the product.
Yes, lager can be made with darker malts or roasted substrates: they usually aren’t. The heavier flavours tend not to suit the style or the flavours of the other yeast metabolites, which is a result of the strain and the temperature.

The comment was hyperbolic, but it’s still reasonably accurate: meaning a lot of “snobs” couldn’t pick the two most extreme points of the spectrum from each other. Lover of craft beer=/= snob.

And if we’re getting pedantic, it’s normally “lager”. A “lagger” is something quite different and somewhat unpalatable.

Sauce: Yes. I have brewed professionally. And I will drink anything, out of curiosity and pure taste adventurism.

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EdwardOfGreene@reddit

All good points. (Including on the "lagger" typo which gave me a laugh)

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North-Record-3800@reddit

And you are too since you can tell that they give you the right description of the piss. Now open a Piss Light and enjoy life without hard feelings.

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BoardsofCanada3@reddit

Funny thing to me is Guinness is the worst of the bunch. It's like soap

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EdwardOfGreene@reddit

I like Guinness. Not my favorite beer, but I do like it.

You don't like it? That's fine. You do your thing, and I'll do mine.

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bbcomment@reddit

Huh

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VoodooChild963@reddit

I used to be one of those gatekeepers until A - I started homebrewing and realized that making a crisp, light, clean, and consistent lager is actually not an easy process; and B - who gives a shit what other people like to drink?

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EdwardOfGreene@reddit

I'm full in on B.

Not a Bud Light fan at all!!! But if that is what you like, then that is what you should be drinking. Yes its a very watery beer without much flavor, but many people like that. And there is nothing wrong with that. We don't all have to like the same things.

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dgillz@reddit

who gives a shit what other people like to drink?

Bingo

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MGTwyne@reddit

It's not bingo, nobody's reccomended their latest nut-free gluten-tolerant yogurt wine yet!

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pedro_pascal_123@reddit

Well, everyone does. I mean technically we all have to shit.

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Mr2-1782Man@reddit

When you're a connoisseur you have to drink the good, the bad, and the ugly. Otherwise your just drinking your usual instead of really comparing the various qualities of piss.

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time2partee@reddit

It’s because they’re European

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DOGA_Worldwide69@reddit

Funny thing is, the ceo of miller, bud, and coors, are the same guy lol

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DrStanislausBraun@reddit

Miller and Coors, yes. Bud, no.

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DOGA_Worldwide69@reddit

In America, true. Outside of the US, same owner. Source: I work for a MolsonCoors distributor

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scooterjb@reddit

Compare a Guinness to an actual stout.

Guinness is also not beer, watery brown nonsense.

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Safe-Insurance2264@reddit

Would be so much better with a real Belgian beer brand instead of Guinness

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mougrim@reddit (OP)

Not a big fan of Guinness myself, in Ukraine we have pretty good craft breweries with real porter and stout.

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Loquis@reddit

Guinness zero exists

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wunderduck@reddit

Regular Guinness already has the same ABV as Bud Light.

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xSilverMC@reddit

But is rarely if ever available on tap, and that's the only really good way to get a Guinness

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russellvt@reddit

Some would argue that it's only from a tap in Ireland... which isn't anything close to what it is in the US.

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RealRedditModerator@reddit

I’ve heard it argued that it’s only from a tap in Dublin. According to the local lore, the quality of Guinness diminishes as the distance from the brewery increases.

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j-random@reddit

Does the stuff in Ireland still taste like coal dust? Use to get that back when I lived in Chicago.

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OdderGiant@reddit

And it’s delicious!

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wunderduck@reddit

With 125 calories and 4.2% abv, Guinness is essentially a Bud light with caramel coloring.

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SouthWave9@reddit

As a European I haven't tasted American beer, but Guinness is the closest to water to literally any other beer brand in Europe. And I've tried it in multiple countries, Guinness is piss, really.

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LayThatPipe@reddit

What I saw in Europe, which surprised the f out of me, was Bud on tap everywhere! All that great beer and it’s Bud that’s on tap

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SouthWave9@reddit

Depends on where you visited, e.g. Germany and Luxembourg don't have Bud on tap afaik. If you visited Czech, then you tasted the original Budweis. After tasting the original version in Czech, inspired from the experience, the Bud's founder in USA created a replica.

So it only makes sense that Bud is served in Czech Republic, it is originally from there.

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Stuff_And_More@reddit

You can get Czech budvar in most European countries, and many places I have been in the UK have it on tap

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wandering_soles@reddit

What does Bud Lite and sex on a boat have in common?

They're both fucking close to water.

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Gilbert0686@reddit

Funny story.

My wife once ordered a water at a bar, and the server brought her a bud light.

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blinddave1977@reddit

Haha 🤣

Customer: can we get 3 waters and a Bud Light for the table?

Waiter: So, four waters then, coming right up!

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Peannut@reddit

My mate did that too but the bar tender called him a pussy and give him a jack and coke for free.. My mate was wasted already.. It ended messy that night

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Gilbert0686@reddit

Yikes.

We were out with our coed adult rec team, and usually gave one of the guys shit for always ordering bud light, he might as well just get water.

So not sure if the server over heard our conversations. Because we would end up at the same spot every week. But I believe my wife already had herself a beer.

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AcidBuuurn@reddit

“THE ONLY WATER WE SERVE HERE HAS HOPS AND BARLEY IN IT”

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mi_father_es_mufasa@reddit

„THE ONLY WATER WE SERVE HERE HAS BARELY ANY HOPS IN IT“

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LaximumEffort@reddit

I came here to post this joke, so I'll give you an upvote instead.

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Doc-in-a-box@reddit

I came here to comment on the joke about the joke, so I’ll give you an upvote instead.

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No-Stand-5664@reddit

I am up voting everyone today. I got a job.

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dgeniesse@reddit

I’m retired. I upvote you all.

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FFF_in_WY@reddit

I'm regular tired, I'll be retired later. Updoot for being ahead of me

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HarmfulMicrobe@reddit

I feel that comment in my bones, have an upvote

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if_lol_then_upvote@reddit

Whoa, easy. I feel like you should have some sort of criteria...

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AmphibianHaunting334@reddit

Congrats on the job, have an upvote

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Historical_Monk_6118@reddit

You'll never believe this but...

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shrknt2580@reddit

We almost pulled a nolan.

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Exciting_Dig_1421@reddit

What’s a Nolan?

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axeman020@reddit

Jokeception...?

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shrknt2580@reddit

Jo{jo(joke)ke}ke

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FluffMob@reddit

JOJO?!?!

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dachjaw@reddit

Get back, Loretta.

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FederalRecording2390@reddit

You mamma’s waiting for you.

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matchstick1029@reddit

Someone smarter than me, please, reduce this to simplest terms assuming each letter is a variable and the brackets are also parentheses.

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AmphibianHaunting334@reddit

Start at the middle, it's a joke within a...

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matchstick1029@reddit

I know, but I still want to see it solved.

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Historical_Monk_6118@reddit

Why did it take me 4 hours to read that? 🤔

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shrknt2580@reddit

Posted 3m ago. Time travel and nolan go ha(hand)nd.

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i_speak_bane@reddit

I came here to upvote the comment but I’ll give you a joke instead.

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TheBlackNight456@reddit

I came..... Upvote.

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peanutz456@reddit

You post it tomorrow. That's how this sub works

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Wotmate01@reddit

What's the difference between bud lite and a mother's pussy?

A mother's pussy stops tasting like piss after a few minutes.

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NoLoMoXI@reddit

I love telling that joke, but I just say “American Beer” not just Bud Lite!

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Evil_Creamsicle@reddit

big commercial American beer, that's fair...
but there are a lot of smaller breweries, like... a lot of them... which make a lot of really good stuff as of the last decade or so.

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atbths@reddit

Last decade? 25 years or so

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EdwardOfGreene@reddit

In the 90's is when it really started to turn in the US. Good domestic beer started springing up everywhere!!

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AutoModerator@reddit

/u/EdwardOfGreene has unlocked an opportunity for education!

Abbreviated date-ranges like "’90s" are contractions, so the apostrophe goes before the numbers.

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To show possession, the apostrophe should go after the S: "That was the ’90s’ best invention."

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EdwardOfGreene@reddit

And yet... I will do it again.

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Evil_Creamsicle@reddit

Sure. I couldn't remember when I first noticed it so I threw a timeline out

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labrat420@reddit

But Guinness is 4% abv just like bud light

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EdwardOfGreene@reddit

It's not just about the alcohol content. Some beer has some actual flavor to it. That is kind of the key point here.

If your just trying to get drunk, buy some Everclear or other PGA. Mix it with how ever much water you like. Cheeper and more efficient at the task than anything. Zero flavor though, and not worth it to me.

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Bunhyung@reddit

But Guinness is the beer that eats like a meal.

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buddagolf@reddit

Guinness poured in Ireland is like mother’s milk!

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labrat420@reddit

It's pretty light amongst stouts really

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skadalajara@reddit

Coors Light is for people who don't like the taste of beer. Guinness is for people who don't like the taste of stout.

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Entire_City5964@reddit

Always heard this as an Australian asking about sex in a canoe and American beer

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russellvt@reddit

Sex in a canoe ^+

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azgli@reddit

I call them "sex in a canoe beer".

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Pun_In_Ten_Did@reddit

yep - 'sex in a canoe' is how I know the joke.

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Abject_Yak_8709@reddit

"Fuckin near water"

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grofva@reddit

Mich Ultra said I am the water! Fav quote from Landman TV series - “Mich Ultra, the #1 beer among alcoholics.”

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SpecificCrash@reddit

King Sorrow anyone?

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mougrim@reddit (OP)

Bought on sale, haven't read yet.

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SpecificCrash@reddit

You are gonna have a chuckle at some moment when reading it...

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adwrighter@reddit

Nod to my dear friend Monte.

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thirdelevator@reddit

I had a gig as a production manager for a beer fest that was next to a river a while back. Their macro tent was a blow up doll in a canoe with a case of Bud Light.

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wandering_soles@reddit

That's incredible, 10/10 work.

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mougrim@reddit (OP)

Oh, that's a good one!

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buddagolf@reddit

Good ‘urn.

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Rubaiatrabby@reddit

based guinness CEO

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dipasom29@reddit

damn, burnt lol

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geodebug@reddit

These jokes made more sense in the 80s/90s but after a few decades in the American craft beer scene you realize how tame most European beers are as well.

Guinness is fine, but it’s the Budweiser of stouts.

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B_O_A_H@reddit

This made me laugh, I can’t stand light beers.

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drwheatie@reddit

Guinness really said "you all aren' t even drinking beer" with that reply. I am cackling at how petty but perfect it is.

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Splattered_Smothered@reddit

At my local Irish pub, we drink Guinness then go to loo and turn it into Bud Light.

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RealRedditModerator@reddit

A wise Irishman once told me, “you don’t buy beer, you only rent it”.

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blinddave1977@reddit

The irony is that Guinness is literally the light beer of Stouts, and has a comparable ABV to all three of those light beers.

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The100thIdiot@reddit

But it doesn't taste like piss.

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junkeee999@reddit

Anyone who thinks Miller Lite tastes like piss had never had a Miller Lite. It’s fine for what it is, a light American lager.

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xSilverMC@reddit

And my piss is also fine for what it is, which is piss. Being above average in a category is fine and dandy but if the average of the category is bad then being above that average isn't worth much

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melikeybouncy@reddit

American style pale lagers make up more than half of global beer sales.

So you can think it's "bad," but most of the world disagrees with you.

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jflb96@reddit

Is that most of the world disagreeing, or is that hordes of Yanks buying bucketloads of their favourite flavoured alcoholic spring water?

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junkeee999@reddit

You’ve never actually had a Miller Lite, have you? It’s not that different from some European styles.

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jflb96@reddit

As nobody has paid me to have one, no, there’s always been a better alternative.

Such as?

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junkeee999@reddit

Anything you don’t like is piss. Got it.

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xSilverMC@reddit

Literally where the fuck did i say that?

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Maddmaverick@reddit

Yup, and the same idea applies to IQ levels.

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ASK_ABT_MY_USERNAME@reddit

Yeah it's designed to be fairly flavorless and easy to drink. It's the least offensive of any sort of alcholic drink.

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trialbyrainbow@reddit

It's essentially a beer flavored seltzer. I view it as pretty much no different than a White Claw. Nothing wrong with drinking what you enjoy.

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hikinggrizzly@reddit

How are you so well first in the flavor of piss? And secondly, let’s not act like Guinness actually taste that good. It is the bottom of the barrel stout beer, just like Coors light or Bud Light are the bottom of the barrel lagers

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RealPudgeJudy@reddit

You must drink a lot of piss.

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The100thIdiot@reddit

No, I stick to Guinness.

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tony_bologna@reddit

People, people, calm down. They're literally an idiot.

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NEpatsfan64@reddit

how're you gatekeeping "good" beer when you apparently drink enough piss to be able to easily recall the flavor?

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blinddave1977@reddit

They're all fine for what they are...light drinking beers for snobs. I've bartended for 25yrs, and believe me when I tell you no one bitches more when you tell them you don't have their particular flavor of beer, than light beer drinkers (including Guinness drinkers).

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theMegaPope@reddit

That's not what light beer means.

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dgillz@reddit

Someone correct me if I am wrong, but "light" in American beers refers to calories not ABV.

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blinddave1977@reddit

They kinda go hand in hand. Less alcohol beers generally have less calories...but you're not wrong.

For example 12oz of Guinness has 126cal vs 102 for Coors Lt.

Light can also refer to any easy drinking lager...like a Coors is not much heavier than a Coors Light. I know many people that refer to Bud as a light beer, even though Bud Light is something even lighter and lower in ABV. I consider pilsners to be light beers even if they aren't necessarily low calorie.

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EdwardOfGreene@reddit

And in many parts of the world 'light' simply refers to color. Nothing to do with calories or ABV.

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xinbenlv@reddit

Guinness the politest.

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Seanmells@reddit

Not to be that guy but.....Miller and Coors are the same company, MillerCoors.

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BreadStoreRefugee@reddit

They used to be separate companies back when this joke was fresh.

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stattish@reddit

Then they all punch the Guinness CEO. You know… Murphy’s Law

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TriDad262@reddit

I thought Murphy’s was also an Irish stout.

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myheromeganmullally@reddit

Can I just get a pint of the bitters?

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p_larrychen@reddit

I think the CEOs of Miller and Coors are the same person.

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NedThomas@reddit

A little more complicated, actually. AB InBev (Budweiser) bought SABMiller, but Molson Coors owns the actual Miller brand.

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AstroBonsai@reddit

Not in the US, still completely separate. Anti-monopoly laws.

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NedThomas@reddit

That’s why Molson Coors owns the Miller brand but AB InBev own the rest of the companies former assets. That was the deal that made the merger possible.

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sharklaserguru@reddit

And the ~~Guinness~~ Diageo guy would order liquor since that's the majority of what that mega-conglomerate owns!

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6strings1971@reddit

And then you find out Guinness is a light beer too

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xSilverMC@reddit

A light stout is better than a light american lager any day of the week and twice on sundays, though. your experience may vary, but i'll order a pint (imperial, not american) of milk before i order any american beer

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j-random@reddit

You're missing out. All American beer isn't light lager. We've got stouts, ales, porters, dubbels, tripels, eisbock, pretty much anything you might want.

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xSilverMC@reddit

I'll stick with the German beers that are local to me, but thanks for the insight

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6strings1971@reddit

Agreed but I had to point it out 😆 but mostly because I switched from beer to milk five years ago. I loved Guinness actually

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pinkygonzales@reddit

I love that this is a controversial comment. Y'all know that Guiness has artificial coloring and is actually a light beer, right? RIGHT?

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TarzanSawyer@reddit

No artificial coloring but yes it's a light beer. It's called "light" because of its low proof and low calorie count so it's light on your gut.

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Capable-Fun-4900@reddit

What are you even talking about? Artificial coloring? Nope, dark malts. A fake stout? Naw, it’s Ale yeast. Alcohol content doesn’t make for the definition of what is a stout.

Guinesss most certainly is a stout, is made with ale yeast and uses dark roasted malts for its color, the only thing light about it is alcohol content.

Bud light, Coors light, Miller Lite, these are all American Lagers. Made with lager yeast rather than ale yeast. The color here comes golden lightly toasted malts. these beers appear lighter on the color spectrum and they are marketed as light beers because of their lower alcohol content, and that equates to lower calorie content.

The common misconception in conversation of beers is confusing light colored beer (SRM) with light alcohol (ABV) and calorie content. You can most certainly have dark colored beer with low alcohol content, as well as light colored beer with high alcohol content. And vice versa.

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Gamer_lover13@reddit

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister, it tastes the same but it's just not right.

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____JayP@reddit

I'll take your word for it

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Turbulent-Break-4947@reddit

That’s a nasty image

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Gamer_lover13@reddit

No one said picture it or worse live it out.

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ktka@reddit

A guy in leathers and wide brimmed hat saunters in, pulls out a Fostahs and says "That's not a beer, that's a beer!"

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Evil_Creamsicle@reddit

None of them are ordering that shit lol.

IRL, 4 beer company CEOs walk into a bar and order 30 year old scotch.

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TSVDL@reddit

r/Jokes my guy

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sfrogerfun@reddit

Lol, good one

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KingOfBagelsMuffins@reddit

I like this because it takes the ’piss’ out of US beer.

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OtterHostler@reddit

I was in the bar at the time - the CEO of Guinness actually ordered a cup of tea, saying, "Well now, if the rest of you lads are on the wagon then I'll join ye."

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Mathgailuke@reddit

“I didn’t want to order from the children’s menu like you did.”

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PwanaZana@reddit

alright, that's pretty good

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Mr2-1782Man@reddit

And here I am trying to figure out how 3 companies makes 4 CEOs.

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karky214@reddit

And the Guinness CEO never orders a beer.

They would just call for "a pint"

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All-ICR-Knot-Seas@reddit

It's funny because Guinness isn't a beer either.

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ZeekLTK@reddit

As the McDonalds CEO showed, these guys don’t actually use their own products. I would be shocked if any of them actually ordered their own beers.

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diablol3@reddit

I wonder if the companies were the same when our great grandfathers told this joke.

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Only_Luck4055@reddit

Aahhh.. . Gatekeeping Beer... tradition as old as.. . Huh... Beer.

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MrSierra125@reddit

Good thing we strive for better. Otherwise we would’ve stopped at camel piss like Budweiser and never improved

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TheLiverSimian@reddit

Burnt coffee, isn't beer.

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MrSierra125@reddit

lol shows you know nothing of beer nor about coffee

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ASK_ABT_MY_USERNAME@reddit

Funny enough my first night in Dublin, Ireland I naturally went to a local Irish pub and got a Guiness.

I sat next to two older guys who were very friendly and I struck up a conversation with them and they were both drinking Coors lights which blew my mind.

I asked them why and they explained that it was a Tuesday night and they just wanted to be away from their wives and it was much easier to have 3-4 of them than a Guinness.

A good portion of the bar were drinking something similar.

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looloose@reddit

I had volunteered to help after a weather related disaster once. One of the items we were passing out was drinking water donated by Budwiser in plain white cans. A fellow volunteer handed me a can and said "It feels just like a Budwiser, doesn't it?" I held it for a second and said, "Yeah, but I bet it tastes just like Coors Light!"

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spikus93@reddit

I thought he was gonna be the designated driver, or potentially already drunk and wanting to sober up because Irish stereotyping.

This is fine too.

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ateoz@reddit

It's funny how historically Americans just water down stuff. Americano, light beer.

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LtCmdrData@reddit

You need to watch your carbs bro!

Big sweating glass of Märzen is just liquid bread.

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biffbobfred@reddit

They’re all the same ceo now. Yay global hegemony

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SirtheIcarium@reddit

Reminds me about the story on an irish satire site a few years ago, about the man who got locked in a Budweiser factory for a week, and had to resort to drinking his own piss to survive

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dGFisher@reddit

"Who drinks a Guinness in this heat?"

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mjdny@reddit

It’s a lovely day for a Guinness.

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xSilverMC@reddit

It's always a lovely day for a Guinness, but it'd have to be a pretty bad day for me to have a bud light

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Flat_Winter@reddit

They say drinking Coors light is like making love on the beach - Funkin' near water.

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blaktronium@reddit

Its gotta be "fucking close to water". A bud light on the pier is "near water". A bud lite anywhere is "close to water".

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Ok-Custard-4119@reddit

It’s a STOUT NOT A BEER sorry

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deathrattleshenlong@reddit

Stout is a type of beer. "It's not a bird, it's a chicken!" <- you

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munstertom@reddit

Stout porter is beer.

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GuyDig@reddit

Funny thing is Bud and Bud Light are actually fierce competitor. Or at least used to be when they sponsored Dale Jr.

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TehTugboat@reddit

I drink bud light, been on the tour at their plant. Have drank bud light for years

But yeah there are much better beers out there, just a little harder on the wallet lol

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