A man is talking to his therapist. “Doc, I feel like I’m wasting my life. All I do is sit around reading fantasy books. Must be my 50th time going through Tolkien. I feel so directionless.”
Posted by TomahawkA5@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 31 comments
The therapist tells him, “I would suggest finding a real hobby. One that gets you out of the house. Try it this week and come back.”
The man shrugs. “Well, I guess it’s worth a shot.”
The man goes back the following week and is on cloud nine. “Doc! I took your advice and I’ve had the best week ever. I must have been to a dozen different pubs, I went foraging for mushrooms, and I’ve been on all sorts of adventures.”
“That’s great to hear. What did you do different?”
“Instead of telling you, why don’t I show you?”
The man opens the door and pulls in a little person with shaggy hair, bare feet, and smoking a long wooden pipe.
The therapist is confused. “What does this person have to do with your new hobby?”
There’s a long pause before the man replies, “Ohhh. Did you say get a hobby?
Lee_scratch_perineum@reddit
Filthy Bagginses
drowned_beliefs@reddit
Baggins pants are back in style.
crowmagnuman@reddit
My first job as a kid was as a baggins at the local supermarket!
Sempka@reddit
Made me lol! Bilbo has been my bff for years.
crowmagnuman@reddit
I see what you did there.. but maybe just a typo
TomahawkA5@reddit (OP)
Damn, I need to hang out with you guys!
pulp_thilo@reddit
Hope they stopped for second breakfast!
crowmagnuman@reddit
"I doon't thenk he knoes abut secand brehkfest, Pulp."
ParanoidFactoid@reddit
That's a shaggy halfling of a joke. *cough!*
RedYamOnthego@reddit
That's not just a joke, but great life advice! I want to spend my summer living more like a hobbit. They have second breakfasts, right? Or are those Unseen University wizards?
curiousmind111@reddit
Where can I get one???
tblazertn@reddit
I hear Brad Williams has some free time.
Funandgeeky@reddit
When he’s not tormenting Jon Stamos.
Or Carol.
tblazertn@reddit
I’ve read from Brad’s X that Stamos has actually conquered that fear.
Funandgeeky@reddit
Good for Stamos. Still, Bob Saget sending Brad into Jon’s dressing room is one of my favorite stories.
tblazertn@reddit
Oh it’s farking hilarious. I agree it’s one of his best bits.
TomahawkA5@reddit (OP)
The Shire
3nails4holes@reddit
I’ve read the joke a dozen times and I still don’t get what they’re Tolkien about.
Diegozamalop@reddit
He probably just took “going out” a bit too literally and brought home a hobbit instead of mushrooms! lmao
FourteenthCylon@reddit
I need a hobbit like that to play the miniature piano I built. It's a perfect 1:10 scale replica of a concert grand piano, and the sound is amazing. The problem with it is, my fingers are way too big to play just one key at a time. I tried asking a genie for a twelve inch pianist, but the stupid genie was hard of hearing.
COGrowMonkey@reddit
Listen here, precious
Proud_Ad9315@reddit
One does not simply stop rereading Tolkien, precious. lol
Waitsfornoone@reddit
What do you call a hobbit who cut off her husband's penis?
A Bobbitt.
fonefreek@reddit
Aren't you glad he didn't try to get a dwarf
redshopekevin@reddit
He initially kidnapped Grumpy. The other dwarfs pooled their money together and paid him to keep Grumpy. However, by this time, he escaped, leaving Grumpy behind.
ICanBard@reddit
Aka Thrain. Not even the Arkenstone can make him smile
Demoniac_smile@reddit
I didn’t realize that Gandalf had a therapist. Good for him, saving the world is a stressful job and the weed doesn’t always cut it.
TomahawkA5@reddit (OP)
Makes sense that Gandalf had read a lot of Tolkien. That’s how we knew the exact time he’d be there for the Helms Deep rescue.
gtgpgp@reddit
A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when Tolkien means to.
thatkindofdoctor@reddit
"Doc, I have a new problem. We talk about his adventures all night, but now I'm Tolkien in my sleep!"
mjikskyboy@reddit
Old Toby is next!