Three men and a train

Posted by xerxes_dandy@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 37 comments

A beautiful, statuesque young lady got into a metro train compartment where three men were seated.

They were staring at her.

She said if they gave one dollar each she would show her legs. Immediately three dollars fell onto her lap.

She lifted her dress to her knees. Indeed the legs were nice.

Then she said "Five dollars each, I would show my thighs".

Came fifteen dollars and she lifted her dress high up till her panties. Very beautiful, smooth and shapely thighs.

Then the bomb came.

"Thirty dollars each, I will show you where my Gynaecologist checks me".

Salivating, three men gave thirty dollars each.

A station was nearing and the train slowed down. Pointing out of the window, she showed the hospital next to the station.

"This is where my Gynaecologist checks me," she said, and got off the train.

Lesson: Don’t get scammed — Invest wisely!

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

Since it's 3 men on a train:

One is an economist, one a logician and one a mathematician. They have just arrived in Ireland and see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train (and the cow is standing parallel to the train).

The economist says, ‘Look, the cows in Ireland are brown.”

The Logician says, “No. There are cows in Ireland of which one, at least, is brown.”

The Mathematician says, “No. There is at least one cow in Ireland of which one side appears to be brown.”

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coolguy420weed@reddit

The physicist from the next compartment over pipes up: unless we can calculate the train's speed, we can't say for sure if the cow has been redshifted into being brown or not.

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HamletHomer@reddit

But then, says his colleague Werner, if we know exactly how fast the cow is travelling relative to us, we can’t even be sure it’s in Ireland!

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Srikandi715@reddit

? I get that economists aren't very precise, but why would the logician and the mathematician give different answers? They both deal with deductive (not inductive) reasoning, and proofs.

I see so many jokes about logicians where the teller seems to have no idea what propositional logic is (which would be the default system of logical reasoning unless further qualified, since it's been around since at least Aristotle).

Propositional logic is the system that underlies computer programming languages, and also much of mathematics.

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kevinkdn@reddit

I bet you’re really fun at parties

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JuliusTheTailor@reddit

To each his own. I’d hang out with @Srikandi715 at a party.

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OpeningRush4035@reddit

naah, no punchline.

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Professional-Face-97@reddit

Another sheep joke.

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spiritsarise@reddit

Or cheap joke.

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Professional-Face-97@reddit

Is that ewe?

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

Are ewe making a leap into a cheap sheep joke?

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Professional-Face-97@reddit

More like dipping into a cheap joke.

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dschoni@reddit

I mean the punchline is missing:

They get in a fight and finally decide to ask the conductor who looks out of the window and says: "That's a sheep."

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Remarkable-Job-2849@reddit

At least a new joke.

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NL1839@reddit

So new I saw it here 2 or 3 weeks ago

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WhitePandocjka@reddit

"so new I saw it here 2 or 3 weeks ago" – the math ain't mathing

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chux4w@reddit

And it even has a lesson at the end. Not superfluous at all.

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WhitePandocjka@reddit

the lesson at the end really ties it together like a fortune cookie after a scam

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IolausTelcontar@reddit

Mi scuzi

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spiritsarise@reddit

Mi scusi

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IolausTelcontar@reddit

Mi scusi

Ahhhh. mi scusi, mi scusi.

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spiritsarise@reddit

Perfetto!

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Reviewingremy@reddit

Anyone else here just picturing the guy from eurotrip?

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schoolydee@reddit

i like you i like you ver much

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Reviewingremy@reddit

A beautiful woman gets is sharing a train carriage with an Englishman, a Frenchman and an old lady.

They pass through a pitch black tunnel when they all hear a loud slap. When they emerge into the light again, the Frenchman is rubbing his obviously freshly slapped face.

The old lady thinks: I bet he groped the other lady in the dark and she slapped him.

The Frenchman thinks: I bet the englishman groped the beautful woman in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.

The beautiful woman thinks: I bet he tried to grope me in the dark, groped the old lady by mistake and she slapped him.

The englishman thinks: I can't wait for the next dark tunnel, so I can slap the Frenchman again!

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No_Customer_795@reddit

My favorite joke: Everyone Knows Dave
Long

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"
"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
"Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.
"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington," and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a beer first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"Pope Francis," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Dave. "I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St. Peter's Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw... you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the fuck is that on the balcony with Dave?'

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Vinst3r@reddit

I'd be more impressed that Pope Francis came back from the dead.

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Clickguy10@reddit

They went to heaven to see him. Dave has connections. .

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whitedawg@reddit

Would be better without the last line, which doesn’t even make sense.

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PixelPunkRS@reddit

They can only see one side of the cow, so they can obly visually confirm that one side of the cow is brown. The other side is technically unconfirmed.

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Clickguy10@reddit

The cattleman was sitting in the next row back. “I have a brown bull. He makes sure all the cows will be brown.”

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jibstay77@reddit

Sorry, from the US, what’s a “train?”

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Zaluiha@reddit

Bwahahaha

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1800skylab@reddit

One popular long train joke involves a woman traveling on the slow "Ghan" train in Australia. She repeatedly asks the conductor when they will arrive in Alice Springs, becoming increasingly impatient. When she finally reveals she is due to give birth, the conductor replies, "You shouldn't have gotten on the train in this condition," to which she retorts, "When I got on the train I wasn't in this condition!"

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