After attending the funeral of a Welsh mouse killed by an eighty year old lady with a broom, three mice, one from England, one from Scotland and one from Australia, are sitting at a bar trying to impress each other with how tough they are.

The English mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the Scottish mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The Scottish mouse orders up two shots of whisky, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the English mouse and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The English mouse and the Scottish mouse then turn to the Australian mouse.

The Aussi finishes his Fosters, gives a long sigh and says to the two, "I don't have time for this B.S. I'm going home to shag the cat."

*Credit- Ventura Publications