One day however, young Jacob Clampett came running into the town hall screaming. After he had a few moments calm down, he started talking about how he had been down at Creighton’s old gothic mansion on a dare, and had seen the doctor growing something in a vat: a giant misshapen duplicate of himself.

Naturally, this alarmed the townsfolk, so some of them decided to gang up that very night and put a stop to the doctor’s madness. The local stonemason and bricklayer brought some of their surplus supplies, and the librarian brought the hardest and heaviest books in the entire library to arm the others. Last was an old falconer, who only swore by his specially trained hunting hawk for protection. Now armed, the townsfolk set out.

When they busted down the mansion door, they found the house filled with hordes of flawed doppelgängers of Creighton. They layed on them in zealous fury. Many of the things died by the Encyclopedia Britannica to the face, a stone thrown through their half formed chest, or by having their eyes pecked out. Before they knew it, they were victorious over the monsters. Still… Where was the doctor?

Suddenly, they heard a car starting up outside! The doctor had gotten into his automobile while the town was distracted by his creations! It was too late for the book wielders to get him, and they’d run out of building materials for ammo, so they turned to the grizzled old falconer. It was all up to him…

He sent his hawk to attack the doctor and…

BLAM!

The doctor drew his .44 and plugged the bird right out of the sky before it could catch up! The townsfolk could do nothing but hear his final gloat as he escaped into the night…

“Bricks and tomes may break my clones, but birds will never hurt me!”