A husband asked his wife to try a new sex position.

Posted by seanfish@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 53 comments

She was in an adventurous but shy mood so she agreed but asked if they could do it in the dark.

Following his directions, she got on all fours and was surprised to find herself being entered by both holes at once.

"Oh, that's actually very nice, but how are you doing it?"

"It's all in the name my darling. It's called the Siskel and Ebert."

"The Siskel and Ebert? What on earth does that mean?"

"Two thumbs up!"

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Zestyclose-Rhubarb-7@reddit

That is impressively old. Not even updating it to Roeper.

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Yes, I'm Siskel, yes, I'm Ebert And you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch You want it rough, you're out of bounds I want you smothered, want you covered Like my Waffle House hash browns

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Similar_Bit_8018@reddit

Comin’ quicker than FedEx, never reach in’ apex. Just like CocaCola stock you are inclined to make me rise an hour early just like daylight savings time.

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R3dnamrahc@reddit

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel :]

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ICPGr8Milenko@reddit

Do it again now!

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R3dnamrahc@reddit

You and me baby ain't nuthin but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel

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R3dnamrahc@reddit

GETTIN HORNY NOW doodoo dododo

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NoTime4YourBullshit@reddit

Wait till he tells her about the Dirty Sanchez.

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vizbones@reddit

Or a Cleveland Steamer.

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Agnosticfrontbum@reddit

Is this a regional variant of the Alabama hot pocket?

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praetorian1979@reddit

only if that's like lockerboxing

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TooBadMyBallsItch@reddit

I'm a little rusty but I think they are two different things

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Shady_Nasty_77@reddit

Let’s not forget the old Portuguese Snow Blower my friends

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AuxonPNW@reddit

Or the rusty trombone

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Quodgephelph@reddit

Or the Frantic Gecko

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Plus-King5266@reddit

I think she was our exchange student.

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praetorian1979@reddit

Stephen Lynch David Josefsberg - Dirty sanchez.MOV

Skip ahead to 1:39 to get past the intro.

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mhibew292@reddit

Or the Rusty Trombone

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JBCockman@reddit

And the Cherokee Paintbrush

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Elevilnz@reddit

Or the bucking philly

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Temporary-Careless@reddit

Or the Angry Dragon

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U_HWUT_M8@reddit

And the Houdini!

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D4nM4rL4r@reddit

🤮🤮🤮

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Theultimateturtle@reddit

I’m waiting for a new horror file to say “Siskel and Ebert give it two thumbs up”

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Sufficiently_Jokey@reddit

Very nice. From context it must be old, but I don't think I've ever heard this one before. Do you remember where you got it?

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

I just made it up! I said the punchline to make my wife laugh in the car and built the joke around it.

I think the context is I'm old. I'm sure a version of it must have been done before, though.

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Sufficiently_Jokey@reddit

That's awesome! Good on ya!

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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HulkasBigtoe@reddit

Probably pulled it out of their ass...

I apologize I couldn't resist. I'll see myself out.

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

Or out of the wife's butt...

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Xtrainman@reddit

Might have to work in some rotten tomatoes...

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FattyMcSkinnyson@reddit

Did she grab you by the ears and yell “kiss me where it smells funny!”?

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agentchuck@reddit

What, like at the clown college?

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Necessary-Tone-3925@reddit

Wait he only has 2 thumbs but she has 3 holes? By math he’s shortchanging her. Geez grow a Thumb man.

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

He's not going into the urethra.

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Wishman2345@reddit

Am I dumb. I don’t get it?

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Resident-Stevel@reddit

Siskel and Ebert were a pair of popular US film reviewers from the 1970's to the 1990's.

Their trademark way of giving a film a positive review was to give it two thumbs up.

So that's what he did to her...a thumb in each hole.

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

It's definitely a joke for old people.

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michiganbhunter@reddit

This makes me feel old

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TurnoverFuzzy8264@reddit

Oh, we're old. You either die young, or get old. If you get the Siskel and Ebert reference, your odds of being young are vanishingly slim.

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Reverse_savitar1@reddit

Its also a self defecating joke

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

She might defecate on his thumb.

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AutoModerator@reddit

/u/Resident-Stevel has unlocked an opportunity for education!

Abbreviated date-ranges like "’90s" are contractions, so the apostrophe goes before the numbers.

You can also completely omit the apostrophe if you want: "The 90s were a bit weird."

Numeric date-ranges like 1890s are treated like standard nouns, so they shouldn't include apostrophes.

To show possession, the apostrophe should go after the S: "That was the ’90s’ best invention."

The apostrophe should only precede the S if a specific year is being discussed: "It was 1990's hottest month."

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

Damn I'm out of date even for that.

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redbud6999@reddit

^^Captain punctuation here^^

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seanfish@reddit (OP)

Captain formatting here.

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cheap_as_chips@reddit

I hope he's not from Cleveland