70 year old guy walks into his doctor's office, chest puffed out like he just discovered viagra.
"Doc, check this out. I'm 70, my wife's 25, and she's pregnant. Pretty impressive, huh?"
Doctor doesn't even look up from his notes.
"Yeah, reminds me of a friend of mine. Goes hiking, runs into a massive bear. Panics, grabs his umbrella instead of his gun, points it at the bear and yells 'BANG!' Bear drops dead on the spot."
The old guy frowns. "Come on. That's impossible. Someone else must've shot it."
Doctor finally looks at him, smiles.
"Exactly."