An attractive older woman hasn't had sex in ages. She's doing her shopping, and guy bagging her groceries is an absolute Adonis.

Posted by mralex@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 143 comments

He looks like an Olympic gymnast, and she's barely able to keep from drooling. He asks her, "Do you need help bringing these bags to your car?" She says, "Yes, please." As they're walking out, she thinks I have to make some kind of move. She taps his arm, and whispers, "I've got an itchy pussy." He says, "What?" She says slightly louder, "I've got... an itchy... pussy." He looks confused, and says, "I'm sorry, could you say that one more time please?" She stops and say clearly, "I'VE GOT AN ITCHY PUSSY." He say, "Sorry, lady, you'll have to point it out to me. All these Japanese cars look the same."

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Coffee_Racer@reddit

Omg, I haven't heard that joke since I was a bag boy for Publix in the early 80's.

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tcwillis79@reddit

How does this joke have upvotes. It’s barely funny, And the premise makes no sense. Have you ever in your entire adult life of shopping had a bagger offer to take your groceries to the car?

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mralex@reddit (OP)

My supermarket they ask every time.

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2ChicksShyOfA3Sum@reddit

Grocery store in my old home town did this to help prevent shopping cart theft. Still happens in some rural areas.

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LadyThunderNYC@reddit

Those little small town Piggly Wiggly places might.

I don't know, different jokes for different folks. I personally like groaners and corny dad jokes.

There's just something about a bad joke and the enthusiasm the person puts into telling it that makes me crack up.

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curiousman75@reddit

Her line explains why she hadn't had sex in ages.

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boraras@reddit

Olympic gymnast? So like a muscular 5'4"?

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badace12@reddit

What’s wrong with that?

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mrgoobster@reddit

I knew this comment would be down here.

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Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit

Well he can swing on her parallel bars all day

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hitfly@reddit

I don't think disclosing your sti symptoms are the best way to hit on people

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shwarma_heaven@reddit

I'm having an HPV outbreak, would you like to have unprotected sex?

Yah, you betcha.

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Parachute_Shrimp@reddit

A bug catcher's dream

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Student-type@reddit

Funny!

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systemlevelvector@reddit

The Honda HPV outbreak edition?! Sweeet

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Student-type@reddit

If you dig 4 on the floor.

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Ogodei@reddit

That is premium. I only got the STD edition. That means 'standard', right? Right?

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kiddrekt@reddit

Manual only or is ATM possible?

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Lanster27@reddit

You might need the HIV addon if you're going off-roading. That's high-vis.

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flamingspew@reddit

I thought Subaru made the Outbreak

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Metals4J@reddit

I used to drive a Subaru Outbreak HPV but the onboard STI kept flaring up.

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Hitoseijuro@reddit

I honestly thought he was going to point her to an aisle in the store for her problems.

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Wabbit_Wampage@reddit

That would have made more sense.

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HolycommentMattman@reddit

Yeah, this joke is a little racist. Like 1980s racist. "More like Egg Foo Yuck!"

We're well past not being able to pronounce Mitsubishi.

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Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit

It wasn't a mitsubishi, it was an ichipussi

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radarksu@reddit

Vagiclean.

https://youtu.be/g2XgOzjidaY?t=51&si=gnVi84W1N_3dwQtc

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FeelingFloor2083@reddit

holy fk i havent seen it, ill have to watch that tonight

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pinklambchop@reddit

Pets isle 9

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Buck_Thorn@reddit

But... have you ever actually tried it?

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Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work@reddit

If she’s got an STI I’m more concerned about her gaskets and ringlands

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greenie4242@reddit

CV joints are probably knackered too.

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YoVeggieBoy@reddit

Good one. I'm guessing her lubrication pick up already has the windage mod.

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EdenianRushF212@reddit

Shit synchros, probably going soon

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LightBeerIsForGirls@reddit

I have an sti. Subaru sti….

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hitfly@reddit

I'm sorry to hear that, you might want to see ~~doctor~~ a mechanic

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ChaceEdison@reddit

Hey, I love my Subaru

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vonage91@reddit

Better up front than not, amiright 🤷

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Which-Cauliflower809@reddit

We have creams, ointments, and suppositories for that

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87th_best_dad@reddit

Monistat is on isle 7

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Yuleogy@reddit

VOLVO : BONER PILLS : PENIS INFECTION

these jokes write themselves 🥱 didn’t even need the racist edge that time. fuck yeah, double points! women crush at comedy.

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eat_a_burrito@reddit

I’m not sure folks got the joke.

But Itchi (itchy is how you pronounce it) means 1 in Japanese.

That’s the joke.

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whyamihere999@reddit

Itchy Pussy : Itchypussy : Mitsubishi

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Yuleogy@reddit

Tesla : Testicular Fissures : Testicular Moon Cycles

lmao men, amiright ladies

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ToeJam1970@reddit

What if it were a Mitsufishi?

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Yuleogy@reddit

Tesla : Testicles : Testicular Cancer!

lmao so funny now 🤪

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3_blackbirds@reddit

Not really funny at all. Why would she say that to hit on him?

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Yuleogy@reddit

Tesla : Testicles : Testicular Cancer Joke!

Now it’s funny for women 🤪

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TurnIntoTheSkidmarks@reddit

I've heard a version of this joke, but this was the temu version fr

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Ooga-Booga-2112@reddit

I don’t get it

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whyamihere999@reddit

Itchy Pussy : Itchypussy : Mitsubishi

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Yuleogy@reddit

Tesla : Testicles : Testicular Cancer Joke

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RunRabbit88@reddit

Neither did he

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gutfounderedgal@reddit

you can work all you want to dress this up with more language but the joke still isn't funny

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Yuleogy@reddit

finally. there’s 75 comments by men above this one 🧟‍♂️🧠

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chaide123@reddit

Mitsubishi

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BrotherEstapol@reddit

Appreciate this cause it's such a stretch to get Mitsubishi from that line.

Was it supposed to my "...MY itchy pussy"? Either way it's still a stretch.

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radarksu@reddit

"My pussy's itchy" is closer.

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BrotherEstapol@reddit

I'm starting to think that OP just absolutely butchered the joke.

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Yuleogy@reddit

joke sucks anyway

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Confident_One3948@reddit

It’s probably just an old joke that butchered Japanese words from the get-go. Like “don’t touch my mustache” (dou itashimashite)

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say592@reddit

Misty pussy would have been a better choice.

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KiwiMiddy@reddit

Itchy bushy

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RutCry@reddit

Geshundeit!

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Castle_of_Jade@reddit

The Japanese and Germans meet again.

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clarkesanders1000@reddit

Impressive engineering and manufacturing

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jscummy@reddit

Hell of a pick up line

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ES_FTrader@reddit

especially from a cougar

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mralex@reddit (OP)

A Mercury Cougar?

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Bunhyung@reddit

Thundercougarfalconbird- GT.

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PirateDuckie@reddit

“Are you tired of others questioning your sexual orientation?”

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EngineersAnon@reddit

I care! I just don't know how to make them stop.

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anomalousBits@reddit

The luxury edition has so much more eagle.

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MarvinHeemeyersTank@reddit

No dog food for Victor tonight.

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Al_Kydah@reddit

Is that tranny an automatic? Or we using four on the floor?

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Informal_Side@reddit

Sure that wasn't your father's Oldsmobile?

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mrgoobster@reddit

That car's got miles on it.

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wSkkHRZQy24K17buSceB@reddit

I can imagine Gilbert Gottfried telling this one

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LadyThunderNYC@reddit

Oh God it's 8:30 in the morning don't make me hear that voice in my head. Lolol

I walked past him one day on the street in New York he was around my height 5'4 and in a very colorful tracksuit.

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Jack_Shitlord@reddit

This is a great joke if it was 50 years ago

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pusi85@reddit

Genuinely didn't know that joke – thanks! =]

...and now, I just have to make it work in my native language – thanks...

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Old_Fart_on_pogie@reddit

Better than me. I’d be the clueless teen. Looking back on all the women who propositioned me, and I completely missed it. My wife says that she had to chase me until I caught her.

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CafeAmerican@reddit

Eh those woman were pretty disgusting, don't feel bad. They were gross women and you deserved better.

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bliksempie@reddit

I once did not even pick up on "Wanna f**k?"

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Curious-Hope-9544@reddit

Same. I have been on a number of dates I didn't realise were dates until years after the fact.

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mrgoobster@reddit

Fuck. Yeah.

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Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work@reddit

Truuuuuuuue

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UrzaZero@reddit

My god I am in the same boat.

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Snoo-20788@reddit

"All these Japanese cars look the same to me"

Isn't that supposed to be racist?

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stupid_cat_face@reddit

My father told a version of this joke 35 years ago.

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Sad_Frosting3921@reddit

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

Hasn’t aged well, has it‽

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speculatrix@reddit

Mitsubishi is an anagram of shitibumsi

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FearlessAmigo@reddit

kind of a gross pick up line

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HappilySisyphus_@reddit

How did this get upvoted

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Miserabull@reddit

Yummy pussy would be better and I think still fit the joke

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juzz_fuzz@reddit

New pick up line: Are you number one? Because I like your itchi buns

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alextastic@reddit

Is this misremembered or something? Aside from sounding vaguely like a car brand, why would a woman ever say that as if it was appealing?

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Grayven9@reddit

Terrible joke

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immunogoblin1@reddit

My down-bad ass would be repulsed by that pick-up line.

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SylphKnot@reddit

Not once would I think "I know how to scratch it 😉"

I'm immediately going to "Bro that's way too much information"

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bliksempie@reddit

Or as my son would say... "Bruuuuuhhh!"

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DBMlive@reddit

Mornlike way too much inflammation.

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rsqx@reddit

that where the body language comes in

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GoldMysterious6210@reddit

r/Mitsubishi

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Studly_54@reddit

An oldie but a goodie.

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Puzzleheaded-Day8538@reddit

What if it was a Nifty Pussy?

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TheFlyingAlamo@reddit

My uncle told me a version of this joke 30 years ago at hunting camp.

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2beatenup@reddit

Hope he found the Japanese car…. Since

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TheFlyingAlamo@reddit

Yeah I think he found a few!

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dadadararara@reddit

A Japanese automobile company creates a beautiful new car, but they still haven’t decided on a company name.

The president tells an employee, “We have to come up with a company name by tomorrow.”

The employee panics and replies in a heavy Japanese accent, “That soon?!”

The president says, “Excellent! Datsun it is!”

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Otherwise_Network58@reddit

Lmao ,i have seen a few.

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mrchilly0@reddit

I think this is a case of a joke that is better told than written

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MrSillmarillion@reddit

He then said "Medicine in aisle 9."

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richmondhill712@reddit

better when i heard it c.1978

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rsqx@reddit

an older fellow at my work used to call mitsubishi cars Mit si bu shi. that was before i knew bushes could mean something more welcoming

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Apprehensive_lad1960@reddit

If only the language barrier didn't exist 😕 😕

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xxjar3xx@reddit

Better wash it lady.

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mralex@reddit (OP)

Maybe a Fairlady?

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BillWilberforce@reddit

Is the real joke the idea of somebody bagging their groceries? As it's almost impossible now to do a shop without having to use the self check outs. Let alone having somebody bag for you.

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mralex@reddit (OP)

My grocery store has baggers. Trader Joes also.

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