How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Posted by ShinyTarnish409@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 83 comments
You look for the footprints in the butter.
brownie-mix@reddit
Q: At the beginning of the Lion King, all the animals in the land were present except for the elephant. Why?
A: She was still in the refrigerator!
Eyerion@reddit
Q: You come to a river known for its deadly crocodiles. How do you cross it?
A: Swimming, the crocodiles are at pride rock.
Tune_Screamer@reddit
Two helicopters were hanging out in a tree, knitting. Then a washing machine walks by underneath, and one of them looks down saying "Check out the sway on that one"
brownie-mix@reddit
no soap, radio
oldgar9@reddit
What's the black stuff between an elephants toes?
Gandgareth@reddit
Slow running natives.
oldgar9@reddit
Gandgareth for the win!
Gandgareth@reddit
What red and white outside and grey inside?
oldgar9@reddit
I've forgotten
EmptyMarsupial8556@reddit
I remember it from middle school and I’m 80
Dranask@reddit
Same
Bentup85@reddit
Aye matey!
R0gu3tr4d3r@reddit
Georgie best, superstar wears frilly knicker6and a plate bra.
Rob2018@reddit
Yeah, well, once you see something written on slate, it tends to stick. 😆
drowned_beliefs@reddit
You’ll graduate high school soon! We’re all pulling for you!
EmptyMarsupial8556@reddit
Did you hear about the gay bell ringer? Got tolled off by the vicar.
EmptyMarsupial8556@reddit
I hope not
ShinyTarnish409@reddit (OP)
As which one?
Historical-Ad-1067@reddit
I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how it got into my pajamas, I don't know
Z4-Driver@reddit
How do you kill a blue elephant? – With the Blue Elephant Rifle.
How do you kill a red elephant? – You strangle him until he turns blue and shoot him with the Blue Elephant Rifle.
How do you kill a white elephant? – He is complimented until he blushes, choked until he turns blue and shot with the Blue Elephant Rifle.
How do you kill a green elephant? – You frighten him until he turns white, compliment him until he blushes, strangle him until he turns blue and shoot him with the Blue Elephant Rifle.
How do you kill a yellow elephant? You throw him around until he turns green with nausea, frighten him until he turns white, compliment him until he blushes, choke him until he turns blue and shoot him with the Blue Elephant Rifle.
How do you kill a purple elephant? – there are no purple elephants!
Maleficent_Owl5533@reddit
Perfect! I love this joke.
epolonsky@reddit
What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape?
Grapes are purple
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
“Here come the elephants”
What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
“Here come the grapes” (Jane was colorblind)
Maleficent_Owl5533@reddit
For all the Elephant red testicle confidants, it is impossible to paint an Elephant's testicles red, apart from the difficulty of getting him to stand still for the process. An Elephant's testicles are indide it's body, nothing sticks out, no scrotum, nothing to paint. Just shows you how perfectly they are camouflaged when painted red.
Geloradanan@reddit
Why do ducks have flat feet?
Why do elephants have flat feet?
dorrdon@reddit
Sigh....
Q. How can you tell when an elephant's been in your refrigerator? A. There are footprints in the penut butter.
Q. How can you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A. If you put your ear against the door, you can hear them talking.
Q. How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen? A. Two in the front, and two in the back.
Q. How can you tell if there are 4 elephants in your refrigerator? A. There's a Volkswagen parked out front.
Q. How do elephants hide in cherry trees? A. They paint their toenails red.
Q. Why is it dangerous to walk through the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon? A. Because that's when elephants jump out of cherry trees.
Q. Why are pygmies short? A. Because they walk through the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.
Q. How do elephants hide in pear trees? A. They paint their balls yellow.
Q. How did Tarzan die? A. Picking Pears.
montybob@reddit
How do you get an elephant into a mini?
Take him out of the fridge, open the car door and put him in.
ZenEngineer@reddit
How do 5 elephants ride a BW beetle?
How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
How do you know if there are five elephants on your fridge?
jrgman42@reddit
How do you kill a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.
TheLurkingMenace@reddit
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
YVRJon@reddit
When my son was a digger-obsessed toddler, I told him this joke. He thought about it for a minute, and said, "How do you know if a digger has been in your refrigerator? ... Caterpillar tracks in the butter!"
MajorMindup@reddit
What's a digger?
YVRJon@reddit
Excavator
shadowsOfMyPantomime@reddit
HEY DIRT see you laterrrr
Acceptable_Stop2361@reddit
How do you get four elephants in a Volkswagen? Two in front and two in back. How to know when an elephant has been in the refrigerator? Footprints in the butter. Two elephants in fridge? Two sets of footprints in the butter. Three elephants? Three sets of footprints and the door won't close. Four elephants in the fridge? Volkswagen in the driveway.
BootsInTheCorner@reddit
How do you get two whales in a Volkswagen? Down the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.
epolonsky@reddit
I always do 1 - footprints in the butter, 2 - giggling when the light goes out, 3 - hard to close the door, 4 - VW out front. But you have to put a whole bunch of other jokes between the first VW one and the payoff.
Healthy_Ladder_6198@reddit
How do you get 71 in a VW. 2 in the front and 69 in the back
Tahueisin@reddit
How can you tell an elephant is behind you in the elevator?
By the smell of peanuts on his breath.
Mombak@reddit
How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?
>!Open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.!<
MadDocHolliday@reddit
How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Haruki-kun@reddit
What animals went to the Lion's birthday party?
zhulkgr25@reddit
There's a man trying to get to his house but he has to cross a river full of alligators. He crosses and nothing happens to him, how?
centstwo@reddit
They'll see him later.
nb6635@reddit
Make sure to move the butter dish!
EmptyMarsupial8556@reddit
From the same vintage as “what’s green and goes up and down?” Answer: a gooseberry in an elevator.
EmptyMarsupial8556@reddit
I guess that could have been Kermit on Ms Piggy
Betterthanbeer@reddit
What’s green and smells like bacon?
Kermit’s fingers.
wgcole01@reddit
I remember it as peanut butter.
theBigDaddio@reddit
Who keeps peanut butter in their fridge?
Clickguy10@reddit
The elephant. It never forgets it’s there.
martphon@reddit
Then why does it step in it?
Clickguy10@reddit
He only steps in the butter
martphon@reddit
...but not the peanut
wgcole01@reddit
What kind of elephant eats butter?
mrjane7@reddit
Who keeps butter in their fridge?
Milnoc@reddit
That's house hippos.
ShinyTarnish409@reddit (OP)
Not sure. In my house it was butter. Maybe my Dad preferred butter or it could be told either way…
harabanaz@reddit
How do you know he's still there?
His bike is parked outside.
How many elephants can you fit in an empty fridge?
One. After that the fridge isn't empty anymore.
penbrooke99@reddit
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
"Here come the elephants."
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming wearing sunglasses?
Nothing. He didn't recognize them.
Boinorge@reddit
.footprints in the butter. But do you knowhow they hide m
Informal_Stress_9953@reddit
How do you make an elephant float? 4000 gallons of root beer, two scoops of elephant.
Normal-Internal164@reddit
What’s white and tartan and kills you if it falls out of a tree?
Rupert the Fridge
Acceptable_Stop2361@reddit
Why do elephants paint their testicles red? So they can hide in cherry trees. What's the loudest sound in the jungle? Giraffe eating cherries from the tree.
useridhere@reddit
Why do elephants have flat feet? From jumping out of cherry trees. Why is it dangerous to go in the cherry orchard between 2 and 4 in the afternoon? Because that’s when elephants are jumping out of trees. Why are the cherry pickers so short? Because they went in the cherry orchard between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.
Z4-Driver@reddit
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
No.
See, how good painting their testicles red works.
Buffalo_River_Lover@reddit
How do you know that an elephant is reading the paper (well, today, I guess it should be looking at your laptop/tablet/cellphone) over your shoulder?
You can smell his peanut breath.
Why are pigmies so short?
Crossing the elephant path at rush hour.
Rob2018@reddit
Hmm. Same answer as last month.
___HeyGFY___@reddit
My butter is on a tiny little shelf on the door. They're more likely to leave footprints in the cheesecake.
ShinyTarnish409@reddit (OP)
I don’t think this joke is meant to be interpreted literally. Also, it’s an old one. It could be that when the joke was originally written who knows when, there were no little butter trays in the door. Oh, and elephants like butter and know how to open the litter door.
Buffalo_River_Lover@reddit
The way I heard it in the early 60s was footprints in the jello.
One time when I was a kid, my sister and I sat and told our 80 year old grandpa elephant jokes for about a half hour. He loved them.
ShinyTarnish409@reddit (OP)
Perhaps my father (now gone) and others thought it was too hard to find footprints in jello because of the resiliency.
mrjane7@reddit
I don't get it.
Annhl8rX@reddit
I think this is the original anti joke. I remember hearing it when I was a kid and not getting it then, and I still don’t get it now. It’s neither plausible nor absurd enough to be funny.
Buffalo_River_Lover@reddit
Yes, the absurdity of elephant jokes is what makes them good dad jokes. Kids have to get the mental picture of it!
EonOst@reddit
Remember to put a good winter coat on the Elephant. Its too cold for them in there.
Shop_Kooky@reddit
Yep I don’t get it 🥴
somebodyelse22@reddit
Because your Great-Grandfather will remember the joke from when he was a child, and he'll tell you the punchline.
ShinyTarnish409@reddit (OP)
Unfortunately, he’s dead, my grandfather is dead and so is my father. I can try to reach them, but I’ll probably be unsuccessful.
Clickguy10@reddit
It will be funny when you do.
ShinyTarnish409@reddit (OP)
They all loved these types of jokes.
32lib@reddit
I talk to my grandfather and dad all the time, they don't usually answer because they have been dead for over 20 and 60 years.
Unkorked@reddit
I think your fridge is a lot bigger than mine.
lilmike39@reddit
I remember this from full house haha stavros