This guy Joe goes to pick up his fiancé for a date in a brand new Porsche. His fiancé is confused because Joe isn't exactly a wealthy guy.
Posted by Jokeminder42@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 157 comments
His fiancé says, "Where did you get this Porsche?"
Joe says, "It was in my garage."
His fiancé says, "What was it doing in your garage?"
Joe says, "Well, I guess God put it there."
His fiancé says, "That's ridiculous!"
And Joe says, "Well, yes, it is ridiculous, isn't it, Mary?"
ExhibitApple@reddit
I need a drink of water.
starsuckers@reddit
Oops its now wine.
TinyNiceWolf@reddit
Quit yer wining.
One_Economist_3761@reddit
I don’t understand this joke.
SnazzyStooge@reddit
Joseph is still feeling sore over Mary’s “immaculate conception” cover story.
myaltaccount333@reddit
So the joke makes no sense then? Great
CheesyMacarons@reddit
It doesn’t make sense if you’re not very aware of biblical stories and literature, yes.
myaltaccount333@reddit
Yeah I forgot the one where Joe has a porsche
CheesyMacarons@reddit
Lmao you got me there, but still, if you know the story about Mary and her “virgin birth” (so to speak) then the joke makes enough sense to be funny.
Dante35@reddit
Are you telling me you don't know the story of Joe Porsche and his hot gf Mary?
alleyoopoop@reddit
Because everybody knows a joke isn't funny unless it's historically accurate.
miscellonymous@reddit
I feel like this joke would be better if it didn’t involve a Porsche, which obviously wasn’t around in Biblical times. Also, weren’t Mary and Joseph married, not just engaged?
HTwatter@reddit
According to that one book, the immaculate conception covers the conception of her, not of the kid.
SnazzyStooge@reddit
I didn’t invent the joke, friend, nor did I post it — ‘twas merely explaining it
wasdlmb@reddit
But you explained it wrong. "Immaculate conception" is the idea that Mary was born free of sin. The virgin birth, the crux of this joke, is a separate thing
hacksoncode@reddit
It still works as long as Joseph is actually skeptical about her being free of sin... because... that's really the crux of this, isn't it? Her cheating on him? Which... would be a sin barring some divine intervention.
threemantiger@reddit
Christ, someone tell him his dad’s not who he thinks it is
Belzaem@reddit
But I find it so ironic that the Bible itself would profess that Jesus has messianic and exiled royalty bloodline from Solomon and David through his mom and Joseph not god.
Amonette2012@reddit
Interesting, never considered that!!
Belzaem@reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/s/Ufv5SkviNq
Ewetootwo@reddit
Not sure that relationship is stable.
QueenPooper13@reddit
You're probably right, and as with most dysfunctional marriages, it will be their son's cross to bear.
snyirady@reddit
Nailed it.
Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit
That man's a Superstar.
halermine@reddit
Jesus.
FacuPeronista@reddit
why call him
Valuable-Paramedic93@reddit
Yes ?
Yhostled@reddit
... username checks out?
PieceOfPanic@reddit
Somehow, yes.. Yes it does xD
NoOnesSaint@reddit
As long as it's not my problem...
Radiance37k@reddit
No need to crucify anyone because of it though
NielsBohron@reddit
Every time they put issue to rest, it's back three days later!
Radiance37k@reddit
And it's such a big deal it moves boulders
Viscount61@reddit
OP washed my feet with that joke.
Yhostled@reddit
water we wining about now?
staticattacks@reddit
This whole premise seems fishy
IrishFlukey@reddit
Stop loafing around.
Viscount61@reddit
I won’t come back to this post for forty days and forty nights.
IrishFlukey@reddit
Admit though, you'll be tempted.
Doctor_Midnyte@reddit
If he is, I pray that it’s his crowning achievement. In fact, we discussed it yesterday at our last supper. It was at the Olive Garden. Pretty reasonable prices. Only cost me 30 pieces of silver. You can deny it once, twice, three times, but those breadsticks are divine.
IrishFlukey@reddit
Cheaper than an arm and a leg, but it did cost a guy his ear, though he got a full refund.
666coyote@reddit
Without a shroud of evidence.
TC-sweetwatermantx@reddit
Keeps getting resurrected
Amonette2012@reddit
You totally nailed it.
Sammysam-orignal@reddit
Yeah, there’s probably some underlying issues there if it’s already feeling shaky.
seitanicverses@reddit
Infidelity is the scourge of a healthy marriage.
Malalang@reddit
Sure, that's why I always prefer lo-fidelity.
Also, infidels are the scourge of any religion.
Green_Ghost18@reddit
That's why I always prefer out-fidels
Malalang@reddit
So, if you're out, you're in?
DVWhat@reddit
Oh, wise guy, eh?
chestertham@reddit
r/angryupvote
Pjermoore@reddit
No more wine-ing
Troiswallofhair@reddit
Inconceivable.
Ewetootwo@reddit
I do not think you know what that word means.
schalk81@reddit
He will make an ass out of himself.
MapoosiAnmakrak11037@reddit
Yeah, that one feels like it’s one argument away from falling apart.
rrrrrrez@reddit
That pun was baaaad. I’d like to speak to your manger.
CthulubeFlavorcube@reddit
This joke thread is ungodly. I want to speak to your manger.
Ok_Package_6921@reddit
Yeah, it definitely has that “about to implode any minute” energy to it.
Bunhyung@reddit
Are we really going to resurrect this again?
Hexual_Innuendo@reddit
How can you say that? They have been on one long journey to where they are now.
keinmaurer@reddit
Well Honda is making the journey easier, since they're all of One Accord.
colonelclick@reddit
Yeah, but their time is finally here.
JohannGambelputty@reddit
No, but it could be manger
uisgeoflife@reddit
But that car's got immaculate combustion.
IrishFlukey@reddit
We have no room for jokes like that.
Amonette2012@reddit
He's being a bit of an ass.
walkin_fool@reddit
😆
Itzjay_1412@reddit
Why do you say so?
jonhuman@reddit
It will be
somethingarb@reddit
Could use a savior, certainly.
broberds@reddit
Manger? I just met her!
RayRayPanPan@reddit
Blasphemy! Blaspheyou!
Reviewingremy@reddit
And no one is to throw any stones until I blow this whistle! Even if they do say Jehovah
jsheik@reddit
Blessed are the cheesemakers....
Ewetootwo@reddit
Especially Cheeses of Nazareth.
Cowboy_Reaper@reddit
Blaspheyou, Blaspheyou family, Blaspheyou cow!
thirty7inarow@reddit
EuphoricFoot3@reddit
Everybody: on Blasphloor!
NielsBohron@reddit
Blasphor everybody in the room!
SpotFit2996@reddit
Blasphemus!
Capable_Influence_42@reddit
i feel like a virgin by not getting this joke
Ok_Mammoth_4997@reddit
Jesus!
Ok_Difference_580@reddit
Took me a second and then the dad joke damage hit instantly.
borazine@reddit
Fiancé = man
Fiancée = woman
Medium-Sized-Jaque@reddit
Beyoncé = singer
MariaKeks@reddit
Beyoncée = female singer
phonetastic@reddit
songstress
Doc-in-a-box@reddit
Fragilé = must be Italian
DJTilapia@reddit
It's a major award!
SuchCoolBrandon@reddit
Omg, it should be Beyoncée, shouldn't it?
Makaisaurus@reddit
Finance = money
LedgeEndDairy@reddit
I consider myself quite literate and I've literally never seen or heard this before. Had no idea.
TIL.
Clickguy10@reddit
That’s very legalistic. Have forgiveness.
FFF_in_WY@reddit
The real joke: Joe was transitioning
ThinkAd9752@reddit
borazine = intelligent borat = intelligent … … not
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
Thank you! I fixed it in my database.
teaquad@reddit
Hoho Hoe!
Elegant_Selection162@reddit
Next you'll say Joe was well hung.
eyebrain_nerddoc@reddit
That was his(?) son.
olagorie@reddit
I don’t understand a joke
Is it because those are two men and one man is called Mary?
KaleeySun@reddit
God put a very famous “bun in the oven” for a girl named Mary who married a guy named Hoseph. 😁
CheesyMacarons@reddit
You missed the joke, he was pointing out the misspelling of “fiancé” vs. “fiancée”
leftcoast-usa@reddit
My bible version never mentioned the Porche, though.
mophisus@reddit
His comment went way above your head.
Fiance is masculine
Fiancee is feminine
bronco2don@reddit
Don’t just Passover this joke…
SayJay222@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
RansomStark78@reddit
This joke is just myrrh
Gloomy-Bridge9112@reddit
Frankly, I’m incensed.
IsayPoirot@reddit
I dunno. I think the joke is gold.
SoUpInYa@reddit
She'd rather ride his ass?
blueridgedog@reddit
Why on earth isn’t this comment at the top? I snorted.
SensibleAltruist@reddit
History's greatest chump! We're talking about Joe Kennedy, right?
EuphoricFoot3@reddit
Porsche? Wasn’t it frankincense and Merc?
Amonette2012@reddit
OOo merc would have been so much better!
tom-ii@reddit
That's how the Porsche got put in the garage...
NoOnesSaint@reddit
That would make more cence.
leftoverrights@reddit
Aw, jesus
NC-Tacoma-Guy@reddit
"Close the door after yourself, Jesus. What's wrong with you, were you born in a barn? "
Affectionate_One_700@reddit
They're gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
But in that case, why is his name "Mary"?
gameplanWI@reddit
Gay men have been calling each other Mary since...well, the birth of Christ, I suppose.
AbbreviationsDue5480@reddit
"Eat, drink and be Mary"
Affectionate_One_700@reddit
TIL. Thank you!
FourteenthCylon@reddit
"So, I give you that name and I said goodbye, I knew you'd have to get tough or die, and it's that name that helped to make you strong..."
Ornery-Database-3993@reddit
Fortunately, Joe got the financing for the car taken care of before the kid got rid of all the moneylenders.
darkhelmet1121@reddit
The Bible is very clear that good jews and Christians don't charge interest on loans.
NotSure65@reddit
Candy apple red?
lostinspaz@reddit
sigh. this is half a joke. unfortunately i don’t remember the other half of it. it had something to do with mary making similar claims about something else.
maybe pregnancy when joe secretly had a vasectomy
sludge_dragon@reddit
It is not a Christianity-hating joke. Joseph did indeed doubt Mary’s story until an angel reassured him. Just imagine the joke taking place before Joseph’s angelic visitation.
Amonette2012@reddit
Lighten up.
SharpTool7@reddit
When I first heard the joke, it was a brand new Donkey.
YougoReddits@reddit
porsches are lousy for transporting furniture though.
RansomStark78@reddit
Porsches are donkeys
Ewetootwo@reddit
Especially mangers.
ztreHdrahciR@reddit
Manger? I hardly know 'er!
michael_landrup@reddit
I hate that I laughed at this
LiveLongAndProspurr@reddit
I want to speak to the manger.
Amonette2012@reddit
Thoughts and prayers!
kiti-tras@reddit
There is an ad from VW in this thread (probably only targeted to me): “we all deserve more. That’s why there’s an SUVW for everyone.”
… kind of fits this thread.
Unique_613@reddit
Because it’s also stuffed with someone else’s kid while you drive the carpool?
muriburillander@reddit
Immaculate combustion
davisdilf@reddit
Three Wise Guys left it there
just_chillin_like_@reddit
Maybe if you add at the top: "... his fiancé who been holding out till marriage."
EuphoricFoot3@reddit
❌🅿️
Weird how they use a garage metaphor when the moral is “no porking”….
TinyNiceWolf@reddit
I think it's kosher.
Koranis@reddit
God, its just a joke.
AE_WILLIAMS@reddit
Well, the delivery wasn't immaculate, but the conception certainly was.
edgarecayce@reddit
Huh
Lallner@reddit
Psst ... they are Mary and Joseph from the Bible.
BubbRubbsSecretSanta@reddit
Which bible?
shaboogawa@reddit
The world bible!
halermine@reddit
The normal one!
edgarecayce@reddit
Duuuuuuuuhhh thanks
bussinbeats@reddit
I should not have fallen asleep in history class
Advanced_Couple_3488@reddit
History class or religious studies class?
bussinbeats@reddit
Yes. Maybe class in general
looloose@reddit
One ridiculous story deserves another in return.