A man calls his wife to say that he was taken from work to the hospital after geting his finger cut off.
Posted by InsectElectrical2066@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 27 comments
Wife: Oh my god that's terrible. Was it the whole finger?
Husband: No it was the one next to it.
michael_landrup@reddit
I’m actually starting to collect these 😭
ecnerwal1234@reddit
Out of curiosity, which one is the hole finger?
InsectElectrical2066@reddit (OP)
Whatever is her preference!!!!
FightMilkLLC@reddit
This is what a feminist looks like
RecalcitrantHuman@reddit
Right. We need standards.
hoody13@reddit
Little known fact : this is why the ring finger is named as such
Fire_In_The_Skies@reddit
Once got my finger caught in the pickle slicer.
Finally got it out and she went back to work.
MetaSkeptick@reddit
I got fired at work for sticking my dick in the pickle slicer. She got fired too.
fermat_p@reddit
I too, was fired for having sex at work. My boss walked in and caught us.
I said to him, “What was I supposed to do? She was just lying there naked!”
He said, “The autopsy! You were supposed to do the autopsy!“
Then fired me and said that I was the worst vet he had ever known.
Pinkxel@reddit
Jeeze! More twists than a rally course!
Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit
Doesn't really work though if you know that for animals it's called a necropsy
Pinkxel@reddit
It's a joke. It works if you have a sense of humor and the ability to ignore facts for the sake of a chuckle.
Srikandi715@reddit
It works, but not as well as if you didn't have to ignore facts 😛
ready_james_fire@reddit
I once took a short cut to the hospital.
They said “You know, you could have just put a plaster on it.”
Waitsfornoone@reddit
I remember getting plastered years ago. My wife had to pick me up from the bar, as I was in no shape to drive.
Electronic_Name_325@reddit
The US based minions are going to confused.
mcramsay@reddit
😆 plaster = bandaid 😆 a fact I discovered recently when I was confused about a plot point in a Dick Francis novel.
ztreHdrahciR@reddit
Plaster? I hardly know 'er!
mcramsay@reddit
😆😆
President_Calhoun@reddit
Holefinger,
he's the man,
the man with the Midas touch!
ARobertNotABob@reddit
I made a not dissimilar joke with an early girlfriend. She slapped me.
InsectElectrical2066@reddit (OP)
Wrong hole????
ARobertNotABob@reddit
That too as it happens, lol, but I was actually referring to which finger.
1VrySxyGuy@reddit
I asked my doctor to use 2 fingers when checking my prostate..
I wanted a second opinion.
Waitsfornoone@reddit
I yelled "COW!" at a woman on a bicycle and she gave me the middle finger.
Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.
I tried.
ColdFix@reddit
Thanks, I've not heard this one before.
AmnesiaInnocent@reddit
Wife: Thank god!