I have an Arab buddy who trained to be a pilot. He came to England to train in a flight school. My friend was poor back then, and included in his fees were the cost of boarding and lodging. He could eat the Full English breakfast each morning, and that was all he usually had the money for. For a long time he avoided eating bacon, but eventually, it was getting too much for him to just live on eggs, toast, mushroom and beans. So one day he tried sausages and he absolutely fell in love with the meat. But given his Muslim background, he was racked with guilt about it. One day, he called his mum back home to confess it. And this is how it went.

"Yamma, I have something to confess..."

"What is it, habibi?"

"I've begun to eat pork. I can't live on bread anymore. Can you forgive me?"

After a sharp gasp, she said: "Habibi, the Qur'an says that if you're forced by circumstances, God will forgive you. But can you at least make sure it is halal certified..."

XD XD XD