A gunslinger walks into a saloon and yells...
Posted by SabreG@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 9 comments
"... which one of you lily-livered, yellow-bellied, flea-bitten curs stole my horse!?"
The room is silent.
The gunslinger continues. "Alright! Here's what's going to happen! I'm going to buy a beer, drink it, and then I'm going back outside! And if my horse isn't there, I'm going to have to do here what I did in Agua Fria! I don't want to, but if I don't get my horse back... you aren't really giving me much of a choice!"
The gunslinger gets his beer, drinks it, and walks outside, only to find his horse at the watering trough. As he gets into the saddle, the bartender comes out and nervously asks: "So... what did you do in Agua Fria?"
"Walked out of town and never went back."
002dollar@reddit
A man walks into a saloon.
WACK
Jhoosier@reddit
Two guys walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
Democratic_Indian@reddit
To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day Hardly spoke to folks around him didn't have too much to say No one dared to ask his business no one dared to make a slip For the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
It was early in the morning when he rode into the town He came riding from the south side slowly lookin' all around He's an outlaw loose and running came the whisper from each lip And he's here to do some business with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
In this town there lived an outlaw by the name of Texas Red Many men had tried to take him and that many men were dead He was vicious and a killer though a youth of twenty four And the notches on his pistol numbered one and nineteen more One and nineteen more
Now the stranger started talking made it plain to folks around Was an Arizona ranger wouldn't be too long in town He came here to take an outlaw back alive or maybe dead And he said it didn't matter he was after Texas Red After Texas Red
Wasn't long before the story was relayed to Texas Red But the outlaw didn't worry men that tried before were dead Twenty men had tried to take him twenty men had made a slip Twenty one would be the ranger with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
The morning passed so quickly it was time for them to meet It was twenty past eleven when they walked out in the street Folks were watching from the windows every-body held their breath They knew this handsome ranger was about to meet his death About to meet his death
There was forty feet between them when they stopped to make their play And the swiftness of the ranger is still talked about today Texas Red had not cleared leather fore a bullet fairly ripped And the ranger's aim was deadly with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round There before them lay the body of the outlaw on the ground Oh he might have went on living but he made one fatal slip When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip Big iron on his hip
Big iron Big iron
When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip
LetWest1171@reddit
This is amazing! I’m heading up to my father’s funeral and my sisters asked me to learn some Marty Robbins songs on the guitar because my father loved him. I learned this one and El Paso.
I don’t usually shed tears in the Jokes subreddit, but I truly appreciate your post!!
GrandBackground4300@reddit
Well done, you beat me to it.
Although I was just going to say, "And that man's name... was Texas Red."
GargleOnDeez@reddit
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RayNooze@reddit
A man storms into the saloon and shouts "Who of you Bastards painted my horse green?" A giant with hairy, muscular arms and a face like a bull gets up, and with a voice like thunder, he says "That would have been me. Problem?"
The first guy says "I just wanted to say, the paint is dry now. You can apply the clear coat."
Fabulous-Possible758@reddit
I’m imagining Bugs Bunny saying this.
CoachSevere5365@reddit
Max Boyce said it in the 70s. Back then it was a car that was painted green.