My girlfriend just dumped me because apparently I’m, “the king of stupid comparisons.”
Posted by HawkeyeJosh2@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 28 comments
I feel like a bacon sandwich on chemotherapy.
r2killawat@reddit
I don't think people on chemotherapy want any sandwiches, not even a bacon sandwich. 😬
Blusttoy@reddit
Maybe you're just a Jamaican confusing his devilish enemies.
RyanofTinellb@reddit
A bad analogy is like an elephant with a hat.
fonefreek@reddit
Fun fact: a snake that just swallowed an elephant looks like a hat
keysmag@reddit
Nice
overactor@reddit
I know what a metaphor is. It's like a thought with another thought's hat on.
Flibbons@reddit
Delicious?
PhilosophicWax@reddit
That actually tickled my brain. Thank you.
"Like an elephant with a hat" I can picture that so clearly:)
Marmite50@reddit
So true
Waitsfornoone@reddit
But isn't that just comparing apples to apples?
bitey87@reddit
That one's red. That one's red too, but the inside is shag carpet and sawdust.
bigb-2702@reddit
Apples to asparagus
Dyrogitory@reddit
I know exactly how you feel.
PhilosophicWax@reddit
I mean what you know.
pedro_pascal_123@reddit
I taste what you mean
PhilosophicWax@reddit
Hey there ;p
drumscrubby@reddit
Comparatively, she’s more stupid for judging you based off your comparison making. What a spoiled little jerk
drumscrubby@reddit
Comparatively, she’s more stupid for judging you based off your comparison making. What a a poiled little jerk
Sheepcago@reddit
That’s a simile, not a comparison. Your ex-girlfriend is uneducated and you’re better off without her.
1BitPixels@reddit
No that's not–all similes are comparisons, but but not all–nevermind just take your downvote
Sheepcago@reddit
I think you’re taking my comment too seriously.
whalemango@reddit
I flunked out of analogy school. Flunking out of analogy school is like...
Trinity_Skeet@reddit
Q. If you were rowing your canoe up an oak tree with no paddle, how many bananas could you fit in a pop bottle? A. NONE - because snakes don’t have armpits.
htp-di-nsw@reddit
Nah, you're just a writer for Family Guy.
Banndrell@reddit
This is just like that time he bought that Palestinian alarm clock.
sirjamesp@reddit
Like a pale window sill in an empty grave.
PhilosophicWax@reddit
Jesus! That's pretty great. I love it
PhilosophicWax@reddit
Greasy and sick?