“I must warn you,” the older woman said, “that although Father Sands is old in body, he is young at heart. It is important that when you give him his bath, you never look below his waist. Otherwise, he will become very excited.”

With that, Jenny went to look after the aged priest. Later, sobbing, Jenny sought out the mother superior.

“Forgive me,” the novice said, “but when I was bathing Father Sands, I—I looked down. As you said, he became aroused.”

“And what happened?”

“I—I lay with him. He said that I would surely go to heaven if I let him put his key to the gates of St. Peter in my lock.”

“Why, that old bastard!” the Mother Superior fumed. “For years he’s been telling me it’s Gabriel’s trumpet!”