Oh yeah? Well, I fucked your mom last night ya fuckin' n00b!

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Megman0724@reddit

My comeback to any player who tells me this is "so, you're into vandalism and necrophilia, eh?"

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TripleF73@reddit

I used to embarrass them by stating my mother’s age and the fact that I was unaware so many young men wanted to fuck OAP’s. Lol.

You into that?

Then in most lobbies even their mates rounded on them and mocked the living shit out of them.

A couple of times, before I had a gaming room, my Mum and Dad turned up at my house whilst I was online and they each played upto it on a few occasions and roasted them. 🤣.

I miss my Dad.😔. Mum’s still going strong at 84. 😀.

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One-eyed-snake@reddit

So she’s single? Not like it mattered before anyway

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Mine has always been “My mom is the cheapest crack whore on the street. The fact that you paid for that says more about you than you realize”. Accepting the insult and flipping it back to them is always fun.

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Jackalalt@reddit

I heard this one before, but the punchline was i really have to stop playing video games with my dad.

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Dairy_Mod@reddit

Well, you probably needed an aim bot for that too.

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jerdle_reddit@reddit

r/MurderedByWords

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JakBos23@reddit

Don't worry about what toys I use with her.

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silasdoom@reddit

Had no idea what a whore my mother was until I started playing Call of Duty.

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DarkBladeMadriker@reddit

MOM! What the fuck, you flew all the way to Arizona to fuck XXXNoobCrusher42069 last night! How could you!? When did you even have the time!?

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Rohml@reddit

"Well sweetie since you were sucking hard at the game, I said I might as well do the same... Noob!"

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Soopercow@reddit

She really puts it around

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uberbeetle@reddit

Hell... Lumberg fucked her.

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CandidNeighborhood63@reddit

Lumberg?!

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Wabertzzo@reddit

Yep. It's true.

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why_am_I_here_Trump@reddit

Same with my mom and she's been dead for 14 years

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Iddqd1995@reddit

Good news is mom's still alive. Bad news is she's sleeping with my boss, Rog, the King of Slams

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thejefferson1@reddit

Say it say it say it

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BaldyFecker@reddit

Chowder. Chowderrrr AHH ha ha ha.

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JohnH968@reddit

That explains why she doesn't move during sex anymore and the dishes are piling up

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TripleF73@reddit

I miss the random insults and general unprovoked unpleasantness in the old CoD lobbies.

Ahhhh pleasant memories. 😁

I remember just shouting “SQUEAKER!” every time a boy piped up with a insult about my mother or sister, then changing it to “SANDWICH!” if the insulting person claimed they were a woman.

People had thicker skins back then, even the women I played with in my clan and my female friends told other women to make them a sandwich. 🤣

Good times.

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Cultural-Company282@reddit

The rest of us knew

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Raylfish@reddit

It doesn't Matter. Your kid was deeper in her than you ever could.

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synapse187@reddit

Fuck you Shorsey!

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Useful_Radish_6395@reddit

My mother's been dead for 14 years. You fucked a post in front of a tree at a cemetery. Go see a doctor.

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High_InTheTrees@reddit

The original joke to this, of the kid saying back “I’ve been deeper inside her then you’ll ever be” Is way funnier.

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RaisinOther9221@reddit

Yeah but she swallowed your siblings

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n8roxit@reddit

I tell my kids that all the time. Well, except for the “last night” part. We’ve been divorced for 19 years.

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Larkson9999@reddit (OP)

Divorce doesn't stop you from fucking her, though your common sense might.

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n8roxit@reddit

…and her 2nd husband might have had a say about it. But yeah, true.

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JohnH968@reddit

What he doesn't know won't hurt you

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Larkson9999@reddit (OP)

Hey, I thought I deserved some say with my ex-wife too but some women (and men) be hos.

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NoTime4YourBullshit@reddit

My son called me a motherfucker one time, and I said “Yeah, that’s where YOU came from!”. Then he called me an asshole, and I said “Nope, it was her vagina.”

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Mammoth_Inside_5739@reddit

Dad: Can you pass me the ketchup? Son: Sure, motherfker.

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MyDadBod_2021@reddit

Ok, I actually laughed!! Take my upvote

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Solrax@reddit

"I hate playing games with my dad"

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Personal_Strategy597@reddit

She running around, sleepin with countless dudes across America, even your coworker

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Chiparish84@reddit

Trash n00bs

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Cowboy_Reaper@reddit

So she knows what my nuts taste like when she kisses you?

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Emergency_nap_needed@reddit

Working in a vocational college and got called all sorts by the students. The usual "You are a virgin/gay/small dick". I had enough one day and said "Your mother has never complained" student "My mum is dead" (they weren't). I said "She fit in the microwave and was warm enough last night". That shut them up for about 5 minutes. Got called a creep, necrophiliac but at least they learned some new words

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