Four types of orgasms
Posted by Bladrak01@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 107 comments
(This works best when you are telling it to someone)
The four types of orgasms are positive, negative, religious, and fake. During a positive one they yell *Oh yes!" During a negative one they yell "Oh no!" During a religious one they yell "Oh God!" And During a fake one they yell "Oh [name of the person you're telling the joke to.]"
bradleynowellsguitar@reddit
Yes, that is usually how jokes work
finglish_@reddit
You mean people talk to each other? But jokes aside, I can't remember the last time someone told me an actual joke in real life. The art and the practice of telling jokes seems to be dead where I am.
No-Agency-7766@reddit
But I just repeated one (not this one) to a friend
Cageythree@reddit
An elderly customer of mine keeps telling me a joke every time he's at my shop.
They're not the best and he's just cycling through the same 3 jokes over and over anyways, but I still enjoy it cause he's the only person I met in like 20 years who does that.
Kunj2411@reddit
r/technicallythetruth
Petrichor2036@reddit
As opposed to when one is reading it on Reddit.
Weezy1@reddit
and yet here we are, posting jokes into the void
Catsanddoges@reddit
I mean there are a fair amount of jokes that don't work well when you are telling them verbally because the wordplay may involve similar / identical spelling with different pronunciation. But usually
Shop_Kooky@reddit
I feel like a lot of negative orgasms happy in prison but who else says “oh no!!” When they have an orgasm
dj777dj777bling@reddit
Premature ejaculators
Shop_Kooky@reddit
Ben Dover got a life sentence
Desperate-Ad3402@reddit
I need to stop saying "Oh,Man..."
Rogierownage@reddit
Who says "Oh no" when they orgasm??
BrewAce@reddit
Maybe Oh shit is better?
jhonnytheyank@reddit
Your Dad
Swirling-Tofu-8349@reddit
Then what would you call the “Oh [name of the ex of the significant other of the person you are telling the joke to]?”
Warren_Puff-it@reddit
Who the hell is yelling "oh no!" during an orgasm?
Alternative_Bit_7306@reddit
John Lennon?
jollymuhn@reddit
Saw what you did there.😆
IshtarJack@reddit
Hahahahahaa!
Maineamainea@reddit
Ohhh look at me I’ve never accidentally taken a shit while orgasming
dst1244@reddit
I don’t know why, but this made me think of zoidberg and I read it in his voice. 🤣
Maineamainea@reddit
Ha, so much better in that voice 🦀
ChonkTonk@reddit
Your dad
sludge_dragon@reddit
This followup takes the joke from amusing to potentially legendary.
kg19311@reddit
Your dad… 9 months later
Lazy-Overthinker@reddit
Her dad, when he saw you when you were born.
RansomStark78@reddit
Dr No's main squeeze
Honey ryder
Menelatency@reddit
So it’s both negative AND fake!
RansomStark78@reddit
Dr no is from the first james bond movie
His gf/so is honey ryder
bigboxes1@reddit
That was great
JackSilver1410@reddit
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
clevercookie69@reddit
Zing! Well done
Acceptable_Stop2361@reddit
HA! 😆
Hugh-Jass24@reddit
ROFL. Awesome comment.
Crackmin@reddit
Usually the "oh no" happens about 15 seconds in
Jagsfan2025@reddit
Don’t judge us!!
Crackmin@reddit
Nooo I would never it's a really good 15 seconds and I appreciate it
moby__dick@reddit
Mormons.
Elegant_Selection162@reddit
When the pepper spray gets too intense
Marcusf83@reddit
Very seldom the woman
Adanor79@reddit
Anyone who notices that the condom has broken..
Haunting-Future9980@reddit
Omg this commrnt svtually got me 🤣🤣
themanfromosaka@reddit
Someone with a rabbit stuffed inside them in the middle of a university lecture.
TonberryHS@reddit
If you cum too soon, perhaps?
210Benjamin@reddit
Oooh that's a bingo!
UAramprat@reddit
We just say bingo.
SabotageTF@reddit
Bingpot.
aneurysm_@reddit
jacko
UrKindaSusDoe@reddit
ff
XxShinigamiBluntsxX@reddit
GG
disturbedrailroader@reddit
No, that's when you yell out "50!"
charonco@reddit
Yeah, it would have worked better if instead of saying a negative orgasm he would have said a premature orgasm
drethnudrib@reddit
John Lennon.
MudIsland@reddit
I read that, kept scrolling, caught it, and had to scroll back up to make this comment. Well done, you!
Mikesaidit36@reddit
“Oh no!” is short for, “The condom broke!”
KingAlaric1@reddit
A guy who failed to pull out
Non_Creative_User@reddit
Last time I said "Oh Yes", he was saying "Oh no". The organism was so amazing for me, and my ex the dumb ass thought I'd taken the rod out.
El_Nathan_@reddit
Joseph Joestar
bthedjguy@reddit
Add in "... don't stop". Maybe lands a little better.
RowdyB666@reddit
Hammer time?
itsjakerobb@reddit
Someone who meant to pull out?
gr4viton@reddit
Who the fuck is yelling "Oh name of the person you're telling the joke to!!!“, though.
Oldmoniker@reddit
Someone with 58 minutes left on the clock
ec6412@reddit
You’re on the dance floor and some hot girl twerks on you for 5 seconds.
collin-h@reddit
The premature kind
Philo1k@reddit
John Lennon
mylesstromm@reddit
Every one who comes before the Kool-Aid man.
fibojoly@reddit
I guess you never heard of JAV?
relayrider@reddit
Melania, because it was unexpected and unwanted
Stringy63@reddit
Yoko's partner
RussMan104@reddit
r/angryupvote. 🚀
jarheadatheart@reddit
Oh Warren!!!
Jmorenomotors@reddit
https://youtu.be/xKPvRyJrlDM?si=7lvnHk8WfGwEhkZb
At 3:32, and (technically) again at about the 5:00 mark.
Zealousideal_Ad1704@reddit
“ When dat crazy one says no condom…..”
Oooohhhh nooooooo
jezzanine@reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/CrossStitch/comments/193pwc6/fo_oh_no_not_again_pattern_based_on_pixel_art_by/
I had an image like this one in my head
sjmoore69@reddit
A minute man would know....or their partner.
WillemDafoesHugeCock@reddit
A bee?
xionator@reddit
Easy comeback if you're the one being told though
jhonnytheyank@reddit
What ?
enochian777@reddit
I think you'll find this works best in a mixed gender group of friends where the obviously ADHD as fuck girl tells the joke over dramatically, and specifically targets the most "manly"/confident dude.
It elevates the joke to absolue excellence. Which is how I learned this joke like 27 years ago (thank you Chante, and you took it like a champ Jim)
Interloper9000@reddit
Ok. I like this one
Leonum@reddit
"Oh [You]"
CrookedPole@reddit
Also, the criminal one: "I'll kill you if you stop now!"
Critical-Rhubarb-730@reddit
Missing the "oops".
krillin_it_69@reddit
Don't forget the "Oh yea".
redvoxfox@reddit
"Oh, yeah?"
krillin_it_69@reddit
Kool-aid Man
redvoxfox@reddit
Yeah! Smashes thru the wall!
adamdoesmusic@reddit
There’s also a secret fifth one:
You’re the Kool-Aid man…
prohired@reddit
Oh, Susanna
noodlesalad_@reddit
Reminds me of one of my favorites:
Three little people visit the Guinness World Records. One thinks he has the smallest hands in the world. The second hopes he has the smallest feet in the world. And the third is betting he has the smallest penis in the world.
The first one comes out of the exam room, pumps his fist, and says, "Yes! I officially have the smallest hands in the world!"
Shortly after, the second comes running out, "Yes! I have the smallest feet in the world!"
Finally, the third comes out, stands there for a second, then says, "Who the fuck is [male audience member]?!"
Iowa_and_Friends@reddit
Omg that’s incredible
esa0705@reddit
You forgot the secret forbidden sweargasm “Oh fuck!”
secretprocess@reddit
The recursive orgasm!
eos3fan@reddit
Oh fuck! /S /Q
blizzardo1@reddit
Subtlety and quietly 🤣
bustedchain@reddit
Oh oh.
numismatic_fanatic@reddit
Friendly reminder that jokes are supposed to be funny.
dirtydayboy@reddit
Oh hey, Mr. Comedy himself!
ckck372@reddit
What did he wrote ??
dirtydayboy@reddit
Nothing crazy, just that they didn't find the joke funny, and implied that no one else should either
dagchild@reddit
I thought it was
Ok_Flower3783@reddit
Don’t forget the Atheist’s orgasm:
“Oh!! Science!! Science!!”
p-helf@reddit
Every day!!
Neat-Weird-4585@reddit
Do tell
Rivergypsy21@reddit
And! The Anal Orgasm…”oh Shit oh Shiiit!”