I sometimes fool my neighbours into thinking I'm good in bed

by hiding my girlfriend's inhaler. They can hear her out of breath shouting "give it to me, just fucking give it to me, pleeeeease give it to me".

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😂😂😂😂😂😂

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My wife tells all her friends I'm good in bed

... because I stay on my side and I don't snore.

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I'm pretty good too. Haven't fallen out in years!

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Takes notes

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maybe skip that one in the notes lol

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You took her breath away!

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Suddenly Top Gun

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My girlfriend shouted at me "give it to me I'm so wet!" But I refused to give up my umbrella.

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“Hey man I didn’t know your name was Alex!”

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Works better if you put the inhaler as the punch line ;)