Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Posted by SuspiciousLow3062@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 27 comments

Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!

Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..

Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..

[-]

Ewetootwo@reddit

So it was the lion that screwed the girlfriend?

[-]

MSB218@reddit

No, no – – the lion IS the girlfriend, and the doctor had sex with her.

[-]

royxsong@reddit

You mean the doctor had sex with the lion?

[-]

MSB218@reddit

No, no, no… the lion’s wife IS the doctor, and the husband had sex with HER.

[-]

HighlandsBen@reddit

No, that's not right. The doctor is the lion's mother.

[-]

Stekor-Tidder@reddit

FFS, you guys are hopeless. Read and learn...

The lion is the girlfriend. The umbrella is the boyfriend. The unknown gun is the girlfriend's unknown lover.

So the doctor (female) is having an affair with the girlfriend's lover who kills the girlfriend but frames it on the boyfriend who will go to jail. Meanwhile, the doctor still has locked up at home another lover (represented by the gun left at home) which she's been keeping all the while but there's no telling what she'll do with him now.

[-]

Anonymous_Bozo@reddit

Not to try to wreck the joke, but I'm horrible at parties:

Condoms are only 98% effective with PERFECT use.
Condoms are only 88% effective with average use.

This means that in one year, out of 100 women, 3 will get pregnent even with perfect use

It also means that in one year, out of 100 women, 11 will get pregnent dispite using a condom 100% of the time.

Apparently, the umbrella was loaded!

[-]

vr0202@reddit

Is this written by a country's president? Why the odd capitalisation of words?

[-]

Aya007@reddit

Maybe OP is German, they capitalise all the nouns.

[-]

cruiserman_80@reddit

The version I grew up with was the man pretended it was a shotgun and the target was a stray cat.

The punchline then became "Nonsense, someone else must have shot a load into that pussy"

[-]

Ewetootwo@reddit

Purrrrrfect.

[-]

the_card_guy@reddit

Close, but not quite. The actual ending:

"Good. You understand the story. That'll be $150 at the front desk"

[-]

bebopbrain@reddit

Joseph: we never do PIV. How is it possible?

Doctor: ...

Joseph: what is an folding umbrella?

[-]

vajrasana@reddit

Stupid Joseph, pussy in vagina IS impossible

[-]

Ok_Material_2982@reddit

Not if scissoring.

[-]

dachjaw@reddit

I always heard it with a giant beaver instead of a lion and the hunter says “Bang” twice. The patient says, “Someone else must have pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

[-]