What did Phil Collins say while wanking on a plane?

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tellerofxtales@reddit

2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam

The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other puts his ear to the door to listen. The professor begins asking the question:

"You are riding in a train cart and you get too hot. What do you do?"

The student replies," I open the window."

"Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for new air to replace the old air in the cart?"

The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers,"I don't know." So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.

He begins asking his friend "you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do?

He says,"I will take my jacket off."

"Ok. But its still too hot. What do you do?"

"I take my shirt off."

"I understand but its very, very hot."

"I will just get naked."

"Ok. But there's a guy in front of you getting a hard on by watching you strip naked!"

The student replies, "Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!"

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ispooler@reddit

su, SU, SUUUU DIOOOO

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fatazzpandaman@reddit

Oh lord

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another1harder@reddit

Said the person in the last row.

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MrDangerMan@reddit

As they climaxed in tandem.

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industriousalbs@reddit

It was the first time, the last time they ever met

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Siobheal@reddit

I've been waiting for this moment for all my life.

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fatazzpandaman@reddit

Oh fuck you're gonna make me drum!!

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khiddy@reddit

Bra-VO.

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Dense-Memory4478@reddit

What did the fellow passengers said to him?

Oh, think twice…

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wishiwasfrank@reddit

I don't understand those fundamental Christians who believe every word in Genesis... Phil Collin's is a drunk and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him!

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bje1234@reddit

Supper’s Ready

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Ham549@reddit

I can feel it coming in the air tonight.

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Shop_Kooky@reddit

I thought he said that after he jumped outta the plane while skydiving and rubbing one out

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barrito87@reddit

Oh lord!

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finger_licking_robot@reddit

What did Freddie Mercury say when he wanted to make a cake for his band?

“I want to bake three.”

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MrDarwoo@reddit

What's Whitney Houston's worst kind of coordination?... Hand eyeeeeeeeeeeee

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biencontent@reddit

That's how she likes her salad too

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Ehridhus_Grimm@reddit

Endiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive.....

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therinsed@reddit

Elton John is fantastic on a piano... but sucks on an organ

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Neurojazz@reddit

That’s weird, I heard he likes cock.

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greenslam@reddit

Well tulips are pretty flowers. However two lips on an organ, so nice.

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DaiMuda@reddit

That made me lough more then I wanted

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mccrackey@reddit

Lough.

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4ever_lost@reddit

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? "With jam in"

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RebekkaKat1990@reddit

Did you hear about the Beastie Boys releasing a 5 part anthology of all their greatest hits?

Parts A through D are free for all fans. But you gotta fight for your right to Part E.

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RansomStark78@reddit

Oh nice

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Logical_Comparison28@reddit

Okay, that got a laugh out of me. 😂

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Hayasdan2020@reddit

He's an easy lover

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Delivery-Plus@reddit

This is sooo bad, I’m gonna sue-suedio you!

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tlbs101@reddit

Where did Phil Collins record all his albums?

In the Stu-stu-studio.

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DustyReemer@reddit

I've long held the desire to open a soup shop called Stu's Stew Studio.

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sinnrocka@reddit

Hold on…

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Pikka_Bird@reddit

Hold on to what?

^(...the line is "Oh lord".)

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OneleggedPeter@reddit

TIL. I always heard "Hold on".

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Pikka_Bird@reddit

You're not alone. It's not rare to see it mentioned whenever the topic of misheard or Mandela effect lyrics comes up.

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alex206@reddit

I just went down a Phil Collins rabbit hole for a minute. He has lyrics in a different song that are also Mandelized as "She sees a hat rack, is she going to touch it"

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Pikka_Bird@reddit

And Neil Sedaka... Super dad-looking fella till the very end.

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sinnrocka@reddit

Been wrong all my life 😂

drum solo *

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JerkPork@reddit

You can’t hurry love, you just masturbate

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HaydnH@reddit

They say plane wanks aren't easy, but that's a chance I gotta take.

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millerphi@reddit

Yup, totally sang that.

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Magopolis@reddit

Did you hear Willie Nelson was run over by a car?

He was playing on the road again

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Volvulus@reddit

Just another day in paradise

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WD40911@reddit

I can Phil it Collin in the air tonight

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bleedx8@reddit

Excellent

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thegreydad@reddit

« I don’t care anymore »

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vananus1@reddit

I don't care any more

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Deflorma@reddit

Motherfuckin’ Wanks on a plane

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SpiritedMain@reddit

You’ll be in heart and other places too.

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Amarules@reddit

Something happened on the way to heaven?

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superfuzzyboy86@reddit

dhu dhuu, dhu dhuu, dhu dhuu, dhu dhuu, Dhu Dhu

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Alternative-Use-2795@reddit

🤣🤣🤣

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swingularity45@reddit

I remember!

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retiretobedlam@reddit

That invisible touch…

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paulsoleo@reddit

“She sees a hat rack, is she gonna touch it?”

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Much-War1743@reddit

Jack it, required.

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Buck1961hawk@reddit

Gimme just one more flight

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Kilik66@reddit

I can feel it cooooming in the air toniight

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NoTime4YourBullshit@reddit

You forgot to mention he was edging for a long time before that. Because you can’t hurry love.

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WheresMyBurrito87@reddit

“No I can’t stop…. Rubbing you”

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NotAPunishment@reddit

He can Phil it Collin in the air tonight.

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1VrySxyGuy@reddit

I spent 2 years in rehab for my Phil Collins addiction.

I did it against all odds. Just take a look at me now.

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Vic18t@reddit

Relax, don't do it When you want to come…

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Temporary-Body-378@reddit

Wing band

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millerphi@reddit

Didn’t know Frankie was also on the flight to Hollywood. Heard he’s going places.

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evidentlynaught@reddit

I think I missed again..

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sherriffflood@reddit

How did George Michael end up with chocolate on his arse? He was careless with a wispa

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soggytoothpic@reddit

Armageddon it

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Odd_Tea_2100@reddit

Against all odds it's a chance I'll have to take.

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padmapadu@reddit

I can see me cumming in your hair tonight…

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Macro_Seb@reddit

You always come in the air when you wank, don't you? Doing it in a plane is just a wank on a different altitude.

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bollocks_of_fire@reddit

I initially thought so too, but then remembered some people used to use a sock or unpowered sex toys until the novelty wore off and I went back to coming in the air, for all of my life. It's no stranger to you and me unless you numb your hand first. Then it is called "the stranger".

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PhantomThrust@reddit

The only joke in history that everyone will automatically know the punchline for before you say it

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jimxster@reddit

I thought it would be Su-su-s-sussudio, which is what he calls out during his nut. The whole song is about having a wank over a chick he's obsessed with and has just discovered where she lives, so he's on his way to start stalking/capturing her to prove how much he loves her. I mean, it could be that he's driving or on a bus or something, but it'd be easier and more realistic to sing this while flogging it in a plane cubicle, or even in first class with the curtain drawn.

There's a girl that's been on my mind All the time Su-sussudio, oh-oh Now, she don't even know my name But I think she likes me just the same Su-sussudio, woah-oh

Ah, if she called me, I'd be there I'd come running anywhere She's all I need, all my life I feel so good if I just say the word

Su-sussudio Just say the word, oh, su-sussudio

Now I know that I'm too young My life has just begun Su-sussudio, oh, oh Ooh, give me a chance, give me a sign I'll show her anytime Su-su-s-sussudio, oh, oh

Ah, I've got to have her, have her now I've got to get closer, but I don't know how She makes me nervous and makes me scared I feel so good if I just say the word

Su-sussudio Just say the word, oh, s-s-su-s-s-sussudio, oh

[Horn Solo - more Implications of self-love]

Ah, she's all I need, all of my life I feel so good if I just say the word

[Let's give this guy a hand]

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jimhabfan@reddit

A more subtle way to phrase this might be: " What did Phil Collins say when he joined the mile-high club?"

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MrJr01@reddit

How does Bob Marley wants his donuts?

With jammin'!

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No-Object-294@reddit (OP)

According to AI i am mistaken: ‘based on the search results, there is no evidence that Phil Collins ever said anything while performing that act on a plane’

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