I Recently Found Out My Husband uses OnlyFans
Posted by optigrabz@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 91 comments
I should have seen the signs. He is getting delivery of parts for his Mustang every day. A muffler on Tuesday and a new shift kit on Wednesday. How much could he possibly be earning on that site?
geekMD69@reddit
I guess the joke here is to flip the normal dynamic of wife finding out husband is spending a bunch of money on OnlyFans model(s) on its head.
Good premise but needs a lot more setup.
DaLyricalMiracleWhip@reddit
“I found my husband on OnlyFans the other day. Crazy to see the kinds of money folks are paying him to do the stuff I say no thanks to for free”
helixander@reddit
This is a good one
incensenonsense@reddit
Reminds me of this joke:
A local barber was just busted for dealing drugs. I was surprised as I’ve been his customer for 20 years, but had no idea he was also a barber!
IamA-GoldenGod@reddit
I was under the impression he was stripping or something, then… he was?
Different-Term-2250@reddit
People pay money to watch someone strip bolts? I do it for free!
Juice_Stanton@reddit
Not my favorite joke, but great username!
"He hates these cans!!"
OctoWings13@reddit
Where joke?
Unable-Purple-1249@reddit
Explain all you want, still not funny
MajorComrade@reddit
Welcome to r/jokes
Mikesaidit36@reddit
At least we won’t be seeing it over and over
Jellan@reddit
I’ll repost it tomorrow for you
ckhdckhd@reddit
First day on r/jokes ?
Mikesaidit36@reddit
All the jokes I’ve seen repeated are way better than this one. So far.
weefees@reddit
You should tune in sometime, he really loves getting shift kits
Don_Loco@reddit
Depending on the weather fans and ventilators are quite usefull, So, a lot!
Tnerb74@reddit
An arm and a leg?
gorathe@reddit
I told my adult daughter that I’d heard that you can make pretty good money on OnlyFans and that I thought I’d sign up and have a go. You would not believe how far coffee can travel out of somebody’s nose. J - Male, 61
zeroshock30@reddit
Good joke. Better joke would have been "On Onlyfans" but he has been getting a muffler, new shift kit, but not a single fan. Who knew they sold other parts besides cooling fans.
seaghost01@reddit
Why all the down votes?
zeroshock30@reddit
Eh. Who knows.
BarracudaDelicious49@reddit
False
zeroshock30@reddit
Nice input. Thanks for playing. Go enjoy your saltines
Stoney3K@reddit
Huh? I thought that shop had only fans.
paranoid_70@reddit
Maybe workshop this one a bit more.
luigilogik@reddit
I trust your judgment …” My slutty friend let me know that my husband was all over her only fans , i was livid, she’s my friend, and apparently his #1 subscriber”
Wendals87@reddit
It's called only fan. Not only fan(s)
CaughtInLye@reddit
For serious, though.
raysqman@reddit
I recently found out my husband has an Only Fans account. He buys …. Etc. Honestly I don’t know what all those women see in him.
paranoid_70@reddit
On second thought, let's just scrap the whole thing.
tractor_pull@reddit
Yeah no real bones to this one
secretprocess@reddit
Wait I've got it... My husband is always on OnlyFans because his car needs a-- no nevermind that doesn't work either
Brukenet@reddit
I know this is r/Jokes but the reality is that her husband might be making quite a bit. About 20 years ago I was a driver for an escort agency. The girls usually made about $200 per hour but the one guy they had on staff often made five times that rate - or more. I ran a cam model studio for awhile with a fellow I knew from Texas and we had about 105 models. One was trans with just top surgery and the other was a very fem gay guy; they easily earned several times more than any of the other models. I haven't kept an eye on the industry in a very long time but I'd be very surprised if the guys on OnlyFans were raking in a lot more money than the girls.
seaghost01@reddit
Why the downvotes?
LongjumpingNorth8500@reddit
I've always heard that gay porn pays better than straight porn so I can believe this.
AggressiveKing8314@reddit
He tried being a stripper last weekend amateur night. They gave him 30 dollars to put his clothes back on.
seaghost01@reddit
Too close to home with that one.
marklovesbb@reddit
I just lost my job and I found out my husband has been using onlyfans.
We can’t afford all these balloons.
seaghost01@reddit
Nice one!
whyamihere999@reddit
Please explain..
SlamTilted@reddit
the setup is meant to make the reader think the husband is paying for bespoke only fans porn while the punchline shows us he is the one selling sexual content to strangers instead
sploittastic@reddit
I thought the joke was that he was live streaming working on his car for other dudes to watch
SidratFlush@reddit
Having watched someone sort US pennies by year and value for over an hour on YouTube, I fully understand that there is nothing that can be filmed that won't be watched by a group of people, even if that group is small.
Although the most surprising of things will find a larger than expected audience.
SpaceBug176@reddit
The joke unironically didn't work on me cuz I for some reason immediately thought that he was the one selling.
johnnynumber5@reddit
Who said anything about sexual content?
SlamTilted@reddit
There is pornography, usually sexual, on the site OnlyFans
hypotheticalkazoos@reddit
hehe
Dman_57@reddit
Makes money on only fans, spends it on his car.
audiomagnate@reddit
Hmmmm
AKMonkey2@reddit
Unexpected twist. Most husbands spend money there watching. This one earns money creating content.
RobaDubDub@reddit
Ding ding ding
Particular_Gap_6724@reddit
There's a website where vampires strip on camera.
OnlyFangs
jxx37@reddit
How about:
I recently found out my husband uses only fans.
Too cheap to turn on the AC
Tylertheguyler@reddit
This is it, right here 😂
Bill-Ding2112@reddit
I just got the joke lol
Clickguy10@reddit
r/onlyfans.
PersonNumber7Billion@reddit
Ten times better than OP`s joke.
Bramse-TFK@reddit
I laughed. Might change it up a bit to be about hygiene/personal care instead? New clothes, haircut, tan, working out. In general "signs" your husband might be cheating. The main issue with the car parts bit is that it confuses the reader and while the punch relieves that confusion it might be better to instead bait the reader harder by supporting a stereotype of a cheating partner.
Pancakesandcows@reddit
I'm proud to say, I've spent exactly zero dollars on r/OnlyFans, and r/onlyflans.
Different-Term-2250@reddit
If you follow that first link, you will realise you probably have spent money on that content. 😆
(Yes, I follow /r/onlyfans for the content)
Pancakesandcows@reddit
Lol, that's true. We do own a few Honeywell fans.
ziksy9@reddit
A real Camhero.
borg359@reddit
He got it one piece at a time, and it didn’t cost home a dime.
Complete_Silver2595@reddit
You'll know his feet when he drives through your town
dizzyballs13@reddit
Camerho was right there lol
Woodey79@reddit
No he’s a “Camarho” too
dizzyballs13@reddit
I'll buy that.
FastAndForgetful@reddit
How about:
I just found out my husband uses onlyfans.
He makes more money than I do!
old_bald_fattie@reddit
I think add some bit about how he's out of shape, etc.. he's lucky I have sex with him... he has the audacity..
Why would these women subscribe to his only fans?
Anyhoo.
Legitimate-Log-6542@reddit
“I recently found out my husband is on OnlyFans. I’ve been wondering how our mortgage suddenly got paid”
Opposite-Courage8671@reddit
He’s not cheating, he’s just in a committed relationship with horsepower.
nhh@reddit
Onlyparts
Studly_54@reddit
Good one. Not where I expected it to go.
danmickla@reddit
Um....what?
LowerSlowerOlder@reddit
Th problem is cars just aren’t funny. And I’m a die hard car nut. Work it through with something else. Boat, motorcycle, Rolex. Very, very few comics can pull off car related jokes. I don’t know why.
SpellingIsAhful@reddit
Turns out he was just an HVAC specialist
Cruzifixio@reddit
Most of the jokes posted here sound like the persons tought of them in their heads as tik tok or sitcom skits.
Truly, literacy is dying.
Itisd@reddit
He's using only fans... He received A radiator fan on Thursday, a desk fan on Friday, a box fan on Saturday, a ceiling fan on Sunday...
JefecitoGrande@reddit
Tough crowd. (as usual)
Stewpid-Guy@reddit
I recently just caught my Husband on OnlyFans...but eh whatever pays the bills I guess :).
Interesting-Ad2076@reddit
He’s getting replacement parts because he drives a crowd surfing car, well that and it’s a ford.
Odd_Science3084@reddit
Could the content be as meaningless as. aFlinstone brake job!
Necessary-Tone-3925@reddit
It took a minute to get it,but the last question she ask is the Reveal . Not that I have any interest in knowing, BUT what body parts is he selling on OnlyFans? Hopefully not his “ stick shift “ .
nickedwardfagerness@reddit
This is not a joke
YewSure@reddit
Terrible
Dzjeek@reddit
Sorry...
Budsygus@reddit
Needs work.
CaughtInLye@reddit
This is not funny.
simagus@reddit
I had wondered where he was getting that money.
Careless-Mouse1519@reddit
Probably quite a load
hooldon@reddit
What? No link??