TheaterFire

Question for pilots: what's everyone's protocol for farting in the cockpit?

Posted by PeteyMcPetey@reddit | aviation | View on Reddit | 20 comments

Just curious what everyone's "rules" were where they fly.

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20 Comments

Happy-Table-9515@reddit

Depends entirely on what seat you’re shitting in…, I mean sitting in. Lol
View on Reddit #84030957

Happy-Table-9515@reddit

But really, what are you going to do. When I was a new hire, I flew with a grizzly old bastard with GI issues. He’d tell you to get on the mask when he was about to blow the deck up. Mind you there were 3 of us up there. Those O2 masks stink like old condoms too, but man you would only laugh it off once…..🤢
View on Reddit #84031065

Happy-Table-9515@reddit

That’s the difference between knowledge, and experience. Served me well…..especially when women started appearing more and more upfront. Because good lord, that just exacerbates issues.
View on Reddit #84031186

rotardy@reddit

I treat everyone the same. Ladies are allowed to smell my essence without prejudice. It’s in my first leg briefing. Don’t shit on me without warning. Say “howdy” first. Everyone needs to let out some air occasionally. First leg after I hit the burrito beach in ORD they find out my briefings are legitimate.
View on Reddit #84057368

Happy-Table-9515@reddit

Yea…HR took that very same position….😊
View on Reddit #84061027

CouchPotatoFamine@reddit

Why do you know what old condoms smell like?
View on Reddit #84031292

Happy-Table-9515@reddit

Heh.
View on Reddit #84031380

Happy-Table-9515@reddit

I don’t answer questions officer.👮lol.
View on Reddit #84031375

Go_Loud762@reddit

Captains never fart. That smell is always coming from the lav,
View on Reddit #84031075

juanmlm@reddit

Not during take off and landing, because of the sterile cockpit rule.
View on Reddit #84041403

Tyvaros@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/wxqmpvp5vgwg1.jpeg?width=758&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7e8516a0e6d640857af56e52b739f3ec3530936
View on Reddit #84033462

V12Jaguar@reddit

Protocol at my airline is to crack the window a little after letting one rip.
View on Reddit #84032242

Bon-Bon-Boo@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/o6zc94q7ogwg1.jpeg?width=972&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c963091b8622555ae0713c96a0a515fc1dae34e
View on Reddit #84031825

Immediate_Garden_716@reddit

thought “rose pills” were “in-vented” (!) for that :)
View on Reddit #84031697

VRFltsim_fan@reddit

Open the window. Air could be more fresh at 30,000ft
View on Reddit #84031332

EliteEthos@reddit

“Howdy”
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Typical_Walker3@reddit

Blame it on the SS3
View on Reddit #84031256

KJ3040@reddit

If it’s a bad one I just say “I farted and it’s bad I’m sorry do what you will”
View on Reddit #84031181

rotardy@reddit

Adjust my vents to ensure the fart leaves my space quickly. Loudly state “howdy” and let it rip.
View on Reddit #84031046

ErythingIsFakeAndGay@reddit

Position air vent in direction of fart source. Say nothing.
View on Reddit #84031010