Question for pilots: what's everyone's protocol for farting in the cockpit?

Posted by PeteyMcPetey@reddit | aviation | View on Reddit | 20 comments

Just curious what everyone's "rules" were where they fly.

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20 Comments

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Happy-Table-9515@reddit

Depends entirely on what seat you’re shitting in…, I mean sitting in. Lol

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Happy-Table-9515@reddit

But really, what are you going to do. When I was a new hire, I flew with a grizzly old bastard with GI issues. He’d tell you to get on the mask when he was about to blow the deck up. Mind you there were 3 of us up there. Those O2 masks stink like old condoms too, but man you would only laugh it off once…..🤢

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Happy-Table-9515@reddit

That’s the difference between knowledge, and experience. Served me well…..especially when women started appearing more and more upfront. Because good lord, that just exacerbates issues.

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rotardy@reddit

I treat everyone the same. Ladies are allowed to smell my essence without prejudice. It’s in my first leg briefing. Don’t shit on me without warning. Say “howdy” first. Everyone needs to let out some air occasionally. First leg after I hit the burrito beach in ORD they find out my briefings are legitimate.

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Happy-Table-9515@reddit

Yea…HR took that very same position….😊

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CouchPotatoFamine@reddit

Why do you know what old condoms smell like?

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Happy-Table-9515@reddit

Heh.

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Happy-Table-9515@reddit

I don’t answer questions officer.👮lol.

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Go_Loud762@reddit

Captains never fart. That smell is always coming from the lav,

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juanmlm@reddit

Not during take off and landing, because of the sterile cockpit rule.

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Tyvaros@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/wxqmpvp5vgwg1.jpeg?width=758&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7e8516a0e6d640857af56e52b739f3ec3530936

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V12Jaguar@reddit

Protocol at my airline is to crack the window a little after letting one rip.

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Bon-Bon-Boo@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/o6zc94q7ogwg1.jpeg?width=972&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c963091b8622555ae0713c96a0a515fc1dae34e

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Immediate_Garden_716@reddit

thought “rose pills” were “in-vented” (!) for that :)

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VRFltsim_fan@reddit

Open the window. Air could be more fresh at 30,000ft

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EliteEthos@reddit

“Howdy”

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Typical_Walker3@reddit

Blame it on the SS3

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KJ3040@reddit

If it’s a bad one I just say “I farted and it’s bad I’m sorry do what you will”

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rotardy@reddit

Adjust my vents to ensure the fart leaves my space quickly. Loudly state “howdy” and let it rip.

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ErythingIsFakeAndGay@reddit

Position air vent in direction of fart source. Say nothing.

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