An American sociologist conducted a study titled "Attitudes of People of Different Nationalities Toward Other People's Property." He travelled to cities around the world, left a suitcase in the middle of a train station hall, hid himself, and timed the results. And here is what he found out:
Posted by Upstate_Gooner_1972@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 93 comments
In Stockholm, no one touched the suitcase.
In London, the suitcase was stolen after half an hour.
In Paris, after twenty minutes.
In Rome, after ten.
In Tokyo, after five minutes the suitcase was turned in to the lost-and-found office.
In Tel Aviv, three minutes later the police arrived, cordoned off the station, loaded the suitcase into an armored van, and drove it out of the city to blow it up.
In Istanbul, it was impossible to obtain an accurate result because while the researcher was watching the suitcase, his watch was stolen.
The final experiment took place in Tehran where along with the suitcase, the American himself was kidnapped.
geekpeeps@reddit
What happened in Israel would have happened in London first.
It used to happen in London in the ‘70’s all the time, only the controlled explosion would happen on the platform. IRA bombings were no joke.
Noctis-Banned-793@reddit
You don't need IRA in history to call bomb defuse squad for unattended baggage, for better or worse, it is a default reaction all over the world.
RollingRiverWizard@reddit
“Congratulations, minister, yeh’ve won a new car!
Why don’t yeh go and start it?”
catgotcha@reddit
Suspect packages! Yup.
Spaceace91478@reddit
My buddy recently had his car broken into. He accidentally left 4 mets tickets on the dash of his car while parked in queens.
Somebody broke in and left 4 more tickets!
counterfitster@reddit
Shit, that happened to my friend in Manhattan, but with accordions
BankshotMcG@reddit
Impossible, nobody drives in Manhattan, there's too much traffic.
Own-Inspection1447@reddit
That took a few seconds to process
Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit
This is one of the funniest threads I've read in a long time.
knewbie_one@reddit
I bought a yellow cab just to go to work...
and some times someone just jumps in shouting something about some urgency...
And they are all happy when I say I'm on the road to work ?
570250@reddit
channelling yogi berra there
Background-Host-7922@reddit
Or banjos or bagpipes.
Disastrous-Bee3260@reddit
That happened to my friend, but with violas
ViaBromantica@reddit
In the Midwest, that happens in the summer with zucchinis
Strange-Sea5604@reddit
I think there is a mets joke in there. What's Mets?
cardiffman@reddit
Mets tickets == tickets to a New York Mets baseball game.
Met tickets == tickets to a Metropolitan Opera performance. No seventh inning stretch on this one. I’d love to hear suggestions for the replacement of “Take me out to the ball game.”
Srikandi715@reddit
Some kind of sportsball team.
Pale-While-9783@reddit
The Metropolitans. A baseball team.
Impressive-Potato107@reddit
I thought those were parking tickets
FourteenthCylon@reddit
Cancerous lesions that have spread from the original tumor.
ZenEngineer@reddit
A boring art museum in NYC
LowAbbreviations2151@reddit
That is funny!!
EntertainmentThin15@reddit
In Accra, a young up and coming preacher will start a church around it as a miracle from God and start collecting tithes … and retire in three months, filthy rich!
Material-Soft-4720@reddit
i wonder what would have happened in Delhi
BuckWoody1206@reddit
In Delhi it would've been driven to the New Deli deli in Delhi by a guy named Abdul Abdul
Boot_Effective@reddit
In Delhi four autorickshaw drivers would be having a screaming match claiming it fell off their vehicle.
alfanzina@reddit
How many cases have there been of Americans kidnapped in Tehran? I don’t remember any. Maybe this joke was originally Beirut? (where many kidnappings were of course by Tehran-supported groups).
jamesianm@reddit
I once accidentally left my wallet on top of a ticket machine in a subway station in Istanbul. I returned about an hour later figuring it would be gone and my trip was ruined. Someone had turned it into the ticket desk who returned it to me. Nothing was missing.
applestrudelforlunch@reddit
In Istanbul, in five minutes a cat would be living in the suitcase.
jamesianm@reddit
I like this one a lot better 😻
CanoePickLocks@reddit
You beat the roughly 50% odds!
GetsMeEveryTimeBot@reddit
If they left the suitcase in Los Angeles, someone would start living in it.
counterfitster@reddit
In San Francisco, they'd live in it and pay him $1100/month for it
applestrudelforlunch@reddit
In SF, a venture-backed startup would take it over and rent it out for $100/night, have him pay $10 for their services, and pay him $11, then start a viral marketing campaign encouraging other people to do the same.
PerpetualMotion81@reddit
In New York, the city will tax the owner $10k per year for not living in it.
pkrhed@reddit
They'd live in it for 3 days and he'd come back to find it full of human turds and used needles. Probably a couple of dildos, covered in feces.
liftguy111@reddit
They call it “a soup kitchen”.
PenDude608@reddit
‘Effin bargain!
fickle_floridian@reddit
You were *lucky* to find a suitcase
Ok-Sorbet-1968@reddit
Luxury!
Palenquero@reddit
Luxury!
germdoctor@reddit
We used to dream of living in a suitcase
PHL1365@reddit
Cue Monty Python theme song
002dollar@reddit
Just one? C’mon bruh there’s room for 2 in a decent sized suitcase
u2125mike2124@reddit
In NY
Upstate_Gooner_1972@reddit (OP)
That actually made me laugh out loud
orlylight@reddit
This is funny
internetthought@reddit
Here is the research on 17000 wallets https://gizmodo.com/researchers-lost-17-000-wallets-in-hundreds-of-cities-t-1835666685
Mechasteel@reddit
Interesting to see Russia as more honest (at wallet returning) than Canada or the US.
goldiegoldthorpe@reddit
Turks are lazy as fuck. Not going to argue that.
Lopsided-Weather6469@reddit
Because the hardworking ones all went to Germany
KnightsBearsGiants@reddit
Was that supposed to be funny? Failed.
VeldSkoen_1974@reddit
In South Africa, the suitcase would first be broken, then it will be stolen. In about 5 minutes.
re_carn@reddit
The parts about Tel Aviv and Tehran seem to have been edited in. And in Tel Aviv (if we’re going by the logic of the joke), an argument must have broken out among the thieves over who should take the suitcase.
Ucmh@reddit
Now where in the world would you have to go for people to just stop and stare it because they thought it was a modern art piece?
TowelFine6933@reddit
Belgium?
Neurojazz@reddit
In Ireland it gets nicked in 10 minutes, but luckily a nice kid will knock on your door later, and sell it back to you, with some tea-towels.
ZeroPenguinParty@reddit
In Las Vegas, someone would have put it on 17 black, and lost.
If it was placed on the moon, instantly there would be over 100 conspiracy theories that the suitcase doesn't exist, and was a prop used on a Hollywood soundstage.
BoundlessFail@reddit
In Mumbai, the experiment could not be conducted because the suitcase never appeared on the baggage carousel.
kalmakka@reddit
I think you mean "the war criminal was arrested", but way to make Americans look like the victims there.a
BAT123456789@reddit
Huh. There are people who believe this? Really?
RutCry@reddit
They wanted to try the experiment in Los Angeles, but the train station still hasn’t been built yet.
Blue_foot@reddit
The LA train station is lovely, I went to a wedding there!
mohirl@reddit
Ah, racist stereotypes. Hilarious.
HerbertRTarlekJr@reddit
Not as hilarious as people who go through life (very likely alone), offended by absolutely everything.
lostinspaz@reddit
technically a large number of targets were (typically) involving the same race so it’s “ethnocentric jokes” or something.
farnsmootys@reddit
I agree they’re stereotypes but I don't think they’re racial ones.
farnsmootys@reddit
Is it? Aren’t they all arguably White other than Japan?
Rustymarble@reddit
He definitely should not do the experiment in Philadelphia...look what happened to that hitchhiking robot!
AdhesivenessCivil581@reddit
Off with his head. I love my city.
,
zougathefist@reddit
This is not at all funny
goldiegoldthorpe@reddit
Nobody steals in Istanbul.
CanoePickLocks@reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/dtSiAEPRIu
internetthought@reddit
This was actual research
Srikandi715@reddit
Is it? Where's the link?
internetthought@reddit
here it is https://gizmodo.com/researchers-lost-17-000-wallets-in-hundreds-of-cities-t-1835666685
2beatenup@reddit
In Oakland the sociologist simply handed over the suit case to the “bortha” for the sake off his life…
Vlad9000@reddit
What is a bortha and why do you drink sakè with it?
dido_meditatur@reddit
Would be even funnier if last sentence was omitted, ending with the watch
Comadrin86@reddit
Why?
dido_meditatur@reddit
Because that is the payoff to all the timings taken
TreebeardsMustache@reddit
And if his watch is stolen, you can't do the final experiment. . .
Alexm920@reddit
Agreed, that flows better and makes more of the joke relevant to the punchline. This is good workshopping.
Illustrious-Echo2936@reddit
much better. kudos
Strange-Sea5604@reddit
True story, my wife and her mum wants shopping in a supermarket, wife had her door key attached to one of the trolly tokens.put the shopping in the car drove home 4miles then realised she had no key, it was still in the shopping trolly at the supermarket. They drove back parked up searched all over the place, no signs of the trolly! They wondered if anyone had handed it to Customer Care
Walked in the door, got the lift (elevator) to the top level, Lift door opened, and a lady came out. My wife said excuse me I wonder.(That's as far as she got...) The lady finished by saying you're probably looking for these!! Yes, there was the key and token!
What are the chances?
RutCry@reddit
They wanted to try the experiment in Los Angeles, but the train station wasn’t built yet.
backfire10z@reddit
In Philly, the researcher was unable to get to the hiding place and start the watch before the suitcase disappeared.
jmd8800@reddit
If he left it somewhere in Chiang Mai Thailand it would be there a week later.
Siptarica@reddit
Any joke about Amuricans stealing your country for oil?
whentheworldquiets@reddit
If he had tried it in Seattle-Tacoma, he would have been unable to complete the experiment because he would have mislaid his briefcase instantly upon entering.
Source: I was marooned in SEA for eight hours and there was a non-stop litany of announcements over the tannoy regarding people who had passed security, gone "ooh, pretzels!" and left some fucking thing lying around.
hikergent@reddit
on the floor
thx
omeralal@reddit
I think it's the first time I have read this joke, and it's funny as well. A unique combination in here, well done! :)
post-ale@reddit
Should be the final experiment was ongoing as the watch the suitcase and the American were all taken; no one has seen anything