John decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Keith, so they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard, so they pulled into a nearby farm...
Posted by 808gecko808@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 43 comments
...and asked the attractive lady who answered the door, if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed." she explained. "And I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry." John said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way and enjoyed a great weekend of golf.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney.
It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, "Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Keith.
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes!" Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Keith's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
"Well, she just died and left me everything."
Pitif362@reddit
I thought this was about a baby
DuffMiver8@reddit
That’s the joke.
Mikesaidit36@reddit
So maybe that’s what she left him. A baby boy named Everything.
Thunderhammer29@reddit
Double punch-line. I like it.
No-Mathematician8692@reddit
It is engineered (yes, good jokes require deft engineering) to make you think that, and then... Whoops.
RIPcompo@reddit
Change attorney to Solicitor
_arglebargle_@reddit
Also I don’t think they call them minivans.
FrostByteUK@reddit
Campervan?
MarvinHeemeyersTank@reddit
Beethoven!
Remarkable-Run-9769@reddit
i don't get it
MarvinHeemeyersTank@reddit
It's a band.
AwesomeMathUse@reddit
Partybus.
FantasticMrPox@reddit
Car.
W0lfp4k@reddit
Or move this setting to Michigan.
Mikesaidit36@reddit
And capitalize Everything and she left John a bouncing baby boy with that name.
Waitsfornoone@reddit
You also might want to change '9 month later' into a different time period - it's a leftover from a different joke ending.
jet_heller@reddit
That is the ending that is implied and what provides the humerous twist.
FantasticMrPox@reddit
Humerous. Like a bone in your arm.
Fezzick51@reddit
Think he meant femurous, as he's twisting yer leg, eh?
MysteryBeans@reddit
That is intentional. It misleads you into making an assumption and makes the punchline a surprise.
RIPcompo@reddit
why? that misdirects you into thinking she was knocked up and sets up the "punchline"
berkleysquare@reddit
Usa=attorney, Scotland =solicitor.
Frido1976@reddit
How is it a joke? This is more of an anecdote... Yes I know I'm boring at parties 🤪
RealCanadianMonkey@reddit
Blizzard weather is also golfing weather.
cruiserman_80@reddit
In Scotland blizzard weather and golfing weather can happen several times on the same day.
AmazedAndBemused@reddit
4 seasons in every day. All of ‘em winter.
Bigkillian@reddit
Also known as April.
CandidNeighborhood63@reddit
Must be Utah
Rob2018@reddit
Does anyone else see “Long” at the beginning of a joke, skip to the end and read the punchline to see if it’s worth reading the whole joke or if you read the same joke last week?
thighcrusader@reddit
I just had to make sure it wasn't that he dreamt he was skiing
joey-joe-joe-jnr@reddit
Great joke but yeah, just needs a little US to UK translation
Finwolven@reddit
What part of it is US specific or UK impossible? I'm from neither and had zero issues comprehending the joke.
Or is it just that the widow didn't have a scottish accent?
wrenhunter@reddit
I like the pregnant pause at the end
Finwolven@reddit
Pregnant with...
Inheritance.
Indotex@reddit
Here’s the U.S. version:
Two teenage male friends named Bob & Jim go on a cross-country road trip…
…and while they’re in Colorado, they get stuck in a massive blizzard. They happen to find a huge house and they knock on the door. A beautiful woman in her 30s answers the door, invites them in and shows them to separate bedrooms. The next morning, she cooks them breakfast and they resume their trip without ever exchanging names.
They remain friends and 30 years later, Bob calls Jim and asks, “Hey man, do you remember that cross country road trip we took 30 years ago?”
Jim replies, “Yeah man, we had a blast!”
Bob says, “That we did! How about that one night when we got stuck in that blizzard and that beautiful woman invited us into her house for the night?”
Jim is quiet for a few seconds and says, “I think remember that, what about it?”
“Did you go into the woman’s bedroom during the night and have sex with her? Then give her my name and contact info?”
Jim comes clean, “Yeah, I did man. I’m sorry but I had a serious girlfriend at the time and you didn’t so I gave her your info.”
Bob joyfully says, “No worries man! She just died and left me 10 million dollars, thanks bro!”
OCCobblepot@reddit
Wait. Are you saying OP’s joke is a rip off of an American joke? Or did you just feel that the joke needed to be tweaked for an American audience because they wouldn’t understand concepts like Scotland and golf?
Motion_Means4501@reddit
And is this the same farm-loving widow who made a career out of using dead hubby's estate by going anywhere to wait out s blizzard in hopes of younger company?
Cultural-Company282@reddit
r/yourjokebutworse
-crowbloke-@reddit
That's a beauty.
LabAny3059@reddit
'Put it in the hole!'
Clickguy10@reddit
A hole-in-one
yearsofpractice@reddit
That’s really quite good!
Mysterious-Path-2128@reddit
He borrowed the name… and returned it with interest.